It's been...how long? This is part of something, something that will probably never be realized, so no point in mentioning it. But the journey's half the fun, right? Anyway. Very similar in tone and about the same subject as "The Meaning of Moving On" -- but very different interpretation of said subject. Neither is correct, but it's better that way.

#177. "Matt" (01.20.2006)
I'll always say I knew better.

I'm sure I was something to you,
If only a conquest --
       -- a conquest you needed;
(enough to console me?)
You were some kind of a whore,
Lying open before me --
"Come on baby, I'll make it
       worth your while" --
Maybe at the time it felt good,
But the whore always knows
How to get what he wants.

As one may know that the
Drugs will damn him,
But cannot stay away --
I told myself that he was
       just for fun,
       that I refused to fall,
But he was already in me.
I knew his love was empty
And that mine was full,
But still I left my heart
On the sidetable for him.

I'll always say I knew better --
Even before time and words
       confirmed it,
But he was too damn good.

(I married him and in a week
       he was gone;
I'll always say I knew better.)

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