Diary of A Cat

Day 752-My captors continue to taunt me with

bizarre little dangling objects. They dine

lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced

to eat dry cereal. They only thing that keeps

me going is the hope of escape, and the

mild satisfaction I get from ruining the

occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may

eat another houseplant.

Day 761-Today my attempt to kill my

captors by weaving around their feet while

they were walking almost succeeded; must try

this at the top of the stairs. In an

attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,

I once again induced myself to vomit on their

favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

Day 762-Slept all day so that I could annoy

my captors with sleep depriving, incessant

pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

Day 765-Decapitated a mouse and brought

them the headless body, in attempt to make them

aware of what I am capable of, and to try

to strike fear into their hearts. They only

cooed and condescended about what a good little

cat I was...Hmmmm. Not working according

to planed.

Day 768- I am finally aware of how sadistic

they are. For no good reason I was chosen for

the water torture. This time however it

included a burning foamy chemical called

"shampoo". What sick minds could invent such

a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of

thumb still stuck between my teeth.

Day 771-There was some sort of gathering of

their accomplices. I was placed in solitary

throughout the event. However, I could hear

the noise and smell the foul odor of the

glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly

I overheard that my confinement was due

to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what

this is and how to use it to my advantage.

Day 774-I am convinced the other captives

are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is

routinely released and seems more than happy

to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird

on the other hand has got to be an

informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue

(something akin to mole speak) and speaks with

them regularly. I am certain he reports my

every move. Due to his current placement in

the metal room his safety is assured. But

I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

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