Title: Wolf Pack
Chapter Title: The Facts
Author: Baby Blues
Disclaimer: Not mine, but the story is.
Summary: Spike has a talk with Buffy and a few things are revealed as the bleach blonde comforts his ex-girlfriend. And Spike finally accepts a few things.
Dedication: To . . . Nick. Save it. ? You are such an ass. *lol*
~Buffy: I was a fool for believing him and his promises . . . And an even bigger fool for falling in love with him.
Buffy gazed out of her window with weary and saddened eyes, slowly rocking back and forth on an antique rocking chair that her grandmother had owned and had given to her before she had died a little over ten years ago. Tiger sat quietly on her lap, occasionally gazing up at his master with a certain gleam of worry in his large brown orbs.
It was amazing what animals could feel . . . what they can see, smell, hear, and even taste beyond human senses and abilities. They had unknown gifts that normal mortals couldnt easily detect . . . couldnt and wouldnt easily believe. But they had the power that could easily bring the homo-sapien species from being at the top of the food chain, down to the very bottom . . . if they had thumbs and were able to talk.
The moon shone brightly above the sky, giving off an ethereal glow and a mystical aura that captured her attention as though she was in a trance. It was the first night of the Bloody Lunar cycle and she was still able to control the change. Everyone, on the other hand, had gone out for a run . . . sprinting swiftly through the woods as free as their ancestors had been so long ago.
She sighed and heard a soft howl of one of the pack members, Ozs distinct tone wafted through the night air.
Buffys head quickly snapped up when she heard the loud wail of Angelus. Tears slowly came to her eyes when she took notice of the deep sadness and complete misery in his tone. She wanted to change and run with him underneath their Mother Moon, but she held back that urge and stayed on her rocking chair, gently petting Tiger who continued to sit silently on her lap.
It hurt like hell. To be so near him and yet so far away. She missed his touch, his soft words of affections, his devotion . . . and most of all . . . his love. Her heart clenched whenever she caught him looking at her as though she was still his world. She didnt understand what was happening, what her feelings were. All she knew was that she was confused, still angry, and most of all . . . still heart broken.
A knock came softly at the door, pulling her out of her thoughts as she gazed back out the window.
Come in, she whispered.
The door quietly opened as the familiar tingle of one of her own silently walked in. Hello, Spike, she breathed, leaning her head against the rocking chair.
Hello, pet, he greeted back with his usual sly grin. Now whats this all about? Not runnin with the others? he asked, mockingly scolding her.
Buffy smiled slightly. How about you? she countered lightly.
Well, he began as he sat on the edge of her bed, Couldnt run without my girl, he smirked a little.
Hows Dawn? And the others we saved? she asked, changing the subject.
Lil Bits out there. I think the twins have a crush on her . . . but it could be the other way around. Its quite adorable . . . in a real disturbing way. But the twins insists that theyre men now, he said with a small chuckle and a shake of his head, causing Buffy to slightly smile, Some of the others either went home already or stayed in, not fit to go out yet, he informed her.
Buffy nodded and gazed back out of her window, relishing the vision of the night that held her attention so fully. It was so beautiful . . . so mysterious. She didnt understand why people took advantage of the night, often fearing it and sleeping through it. Maybe its just because she was a part of the night, making her so fond and attached to it as though it was a brother.
She stayed quiet, and the two of them continued on like that, in silent comfort as a sense of peace swallowed the room. It was often like this with Spike, a reassuring stillness that told he more than words ever could. Thats what she will always have with Spike, that bond of security.
You know, pet, he sighed, finally breaking the silence as he stared at her face, From the very beginning, I hated Angelus . . .
Spike . . .
No, luv . . . he said, jaws clenched as he tried to control his jealousy and rage from the memories that assaulted his brain, Please . . . just listen.
Buffy stayed quiet.
He was arrogant . . . a real bastard, he chuckled lightly. Ten outta ten of a real prick . . . He looked up at her with sad eyes, And he had won the rights of Leader to our pack . . . as well as its queen, their eyes locked, blue meeting blue in a moment of understanding, And I hated him even more after that.
Buffy looked away just as Tiger hopped off her lap and towards Spike, circling around his feet before settling down by his right boot, feeling the werewolfs pain loud and clear.
You know . . . he chuckled again, After all Ive done and said to him, through all the bullshit Ive given him, I should be dead and buried by now for my disrespect, he informed her even though she already knew, I test his authority everyday . . . but hes never done anything to me because he knows that you wont forgive him if he does something to cause me harm . . . and he cares about you enough to respect that little fact.
Buffy stayed silent.
Spike sighed. Hes a good man, Buffy . . . hes taken care of the pack, let me off the hook of his wrath more than once . . . and I have a feeling it wasnt all for him and his male glory, he said, This is more for you than himself.
Buffy smiled slightly as she absorbed his smart words. When did Angelus suddenly become a good guy in your book? she asked, I thought he was at the very top of your shit list?
Spike huffed. Hes not, he assured her with pride, And he still is.
Buffy chuckled lightly and Spike had to smile as well. Buffy, I know how hes changed, he told her, Oz might be considered as the observer in our clan, but I do some observing too. Angelus has altered . . . its no longer about him anymore, its about all of us now, and especially . . . about you.
Buffy looked away and Spike sighed for the third time. Pet, I know you love him. He still loves you too. That whole thing with Faith was a mistake, and I know deep down inside that you know it. Faith's a manipulating bitch." Buffy still said nothing, "He cares about you, pet. No matter how much I hate to say it, you're everything to him. Everybody in our pack bloody well knows it . . . Everyone sees it in his eyes, he . . .
I was a fool for believing him and his promises, Buffy cut him off, bring stubborn as usual, And an even bigger fool for falling in love with him.
All of us are fools when it comes to love, pet, he smiled sadly, I should know. Ive been down that road before.
Buffy looked up at his sad blue eyes that tried not to look at her. Her heart clenched at seeing the wretchedness in her best friends face, the misery the pulled at his form. She stood from her rocking chair and walked towards him, kneeling in front of him and staring straight into his eyes.
Promise me something, Spike.
The young man waited for her to continue.
Promise me that youll find someone to love you with her whole heart . . . and who you will love completely in return as well, she said softly.
He nodded hesitantly, seeing the desperation and pleading in her soft eyes that were so close to shedding tears.
You have to promise me somethin too, pet, he smiled forlornly.
Buffy nodded as she took him in his arms, not able to look into his face of misery any longer without erupting into a mass of tears and sobs. So she rested her head on his shoulder as he buried his face in the crook of her smooth neck.
Forgive him . . . love him, he whispered in her ear, closing his eyes as he hugged her tighter against him, And just be happy with him. . .
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I sat pensively on the rooftop of the mansion, just gazing into the night and letting the silence console me as the breeze blew against my still form. The pack was still out in their run, trying to ease the tension that had been building up all week because of Buffys kidnapping and Faiths betrayal.
I sighed and took out a cigarette, lighting it with a match before taking a deep drag of the slim fag.
Ive always took comfort in the fact that I knew where I belonged, what made me smile, what made me angry. I knew what happiness was when you would look at the sunset, at cute little smiling babies, and ice-cream. I knew the overwhelming feeling of joy when you held someone you loved in your arms . . . but I also knew the pain of seeing that someone love another . . . and be happy and overjoyed in that other mans arms.
I let out the smoke from my lungs, watching as the white but deadly breeze disappear, mingling with the air of the sweet night.
I will always love Buffy. She holds a part of my heart that can never be touched by anyone else. And if I cant have her, at least I have a fact to take with me . . . to know she had been mine once, and I had been hers.
Maybe in the long run . . . thats all that Ill ask of her . . . and be happy with it.
But for now . . . Im just . . . broken.
Continue to Chapter 35: The Agreement
Back to Chapter 33: The Punishment