Murphy's law on nursing....

The number of times a Doctor pisses off a night nurse is directly equal to the number of times they will call the same Doctor at 0400 for an order of Paracetamol.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

When all else fails, follow instructions.  

Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.

If at first you don't succeed, give up.

People are always available for work in the past tense.

Nobody notices when things go right.

Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working in a hospital, the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job -- it's the start of a brand new series of three.

If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything.

The patients who have the most trouble swallowing pills, have the most pills to swallow.

The only time doctors show up to inspect their patients wounds is immediately after the dressing has been changed.

If it's not documented, it's not done.

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

Everything goes wrong all at once.

You never run out of things that can go wrong

All's well that ends.

The first myth of Administration is that it exists

Nothing motivates  Nurses more than to see their supervisor putting in an honest day's work

Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling  

The sickest patient that requires the most attention, is the one that is farthest from the nurses station

Your patient's diarrhea stops immediately after the doctor orders stool specimens.

Hungry doctors arrive on the floor only minutes after visitors have brought in sweets and cakes for the nurses.

Other nurses get pulled to your unit only on the quietest shifts so that they believe that your floor is the easiest in the hospital and you never work as hard as they do.

Doctors cannot examine their patients without tearing apart your beautifully made beds..

Patients who refuse to eat are the ones who stuff tissues in their mouths, chew their IV tubings in half, and attempt to drink from their urinals.

Patients who have their call bell answered after two minutes tell their families that they were kept waiting forever, while the ones who really have to wait never say a word.

Rest assured that when in a hurry, there will always be blank nurses notes.

The copier only works when you don't need it.

Maintenance will always pull a fire drill on your day from hell.

The more confused and impulsive a patient is, the less chance there is for a family member or friend to sit with them.

Your patient looks up at you as you are wheeling them down the hall to surgery and asks if those little donuts count as food.

When you cancel staff for low census, it is guaranteed there will be a rash of admissions, and four patients will crash.

You always remember "just one more thing" you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room.

When management smiles at you, be very, very afraid....

If you're running around horribly busy, you're unorganized and need to prioritize.   If you're not running around horribly busy, you're lazy and need to find more work to do.

You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room.  You always remember when you get back to the other end of the hall.

Your buddies, who were reading the paper at the nurses' desk a minute ago, will always disappear just when you need help with a turn and a boost.

The better job you do, the more work you can expect to be handed.

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