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Return of the Knave
Drink It Black
Saturday, 18 October 2003
While reading the local paper
The neighbours don't read the local rag. Perhaps they once did and decided that it was depressing news of council waste - of incomplete swimming pools and shafted charettes; maybe they have limited tolerance for the coverage of dog doings and elderly emergencies; the puff pieces on shops and schools in the area. Whatever their lack of interest, they do miss some lively material.

Now I'm not one to pick up on every little thing that the Channel Nine news or the Daily Telegraph reports. What would be the point of that? But the provincial press is another matter. Once you weed out articles on identities unknown outside the area of circulation, there can be some real gems viz

Last weekend six Mountainlink buses were covered in graffitti, a car was covered in white paint in Carrington Avenue and another car's bonnet was scratched in the same street, a letterbox was thrown at a house in Parke Street, a rock smashed through the front door window of a house in Victoria Street, a blue question mark was spray painted on a car in Leichhardt Street, a letterbox was blown up in Barton Street, and the front window of Fantastic Aussie Tours was smashed. And that was just in Katoomba.

And I thought this was such a nice area! The natural environs are lovely but the humans are fucked.
If I was one of the godbotherers who regularly appear in the letter column I'd be praying that God grant the vandals self-awareness so they can realise what a horrible waste of space they are.

They share the paper with murderers, thieves, drink drivers and other dangerous idiots, miscellaneous thugs.. But I guess you get them everywhere.

And then there's the developers who are thankfully getting a caning for a hideous abomination on the highway above Leura Village called the Spires. There isn't a week that goes by that someone doesn't comment on its ugliness and unsuitability, but this classified ad for a garage sale provides the best commentary on what a true lack of vision it is:

The Goodbye to the uninSpires' Moving Sale
Come One, Come All
We are moving out after 25 years. We have enough junk to keep your shed going for the next three council clean-ups, including an Emmalunga pram, queen size bed base and all sorts of stuff our friends, with little or no taste, gave us as gifts in the 1970s.
It's all waiting for you at 164 Megalong St, Leura, from 9am, Saturday, 18th October. Everything must go... including us. No antiques and no earlybirds.
We're moving somewhere where we can erect a three storey brick construction that looks something like a cross between a Rooty Hill Shopping Mall and the Lithgow Maximum Security Prison block. Given what council has recently approved at the top of Leura Mall we are expecting it to be approved without dissent.

Posted by berko_wills at 5:55 AM NZT
Updated: Saturday, 25 October 2003 9:04 PM EADT
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