Locke: Dominion (cntd.)

Some Thoughts Concerning Education - by John Locke, 1693

[ Dominion, cntd. ]

§ 108 Curiosity. If this be begun betimes, and they accustom themselves early to silence their desires, this useful habit will settle in them; and, as they come to grow up in age and discretion, they may be allowed greater liberty; when reason comes to speak in them, and not passion. For whenever reason would speak, it should be hearkened to. But, as they should never be heard, when they speak for any thing they would have, unless it be first proposed to them; so they should always he heard, and fairly and kindly answered, when they ask after anything they would know, and desire to be informed about. Curiosity should be as carefully cherished in children, as other appetites suppressed.

§ 109 2. Complaints. Children, who live together, often strive for mastery, whose wills shall carry it over the rent; whoever begins the contest, should be sure to be crossed in it. But not only that, but they should be taught to have all the deference, complaisance and civility one for the other imaginable. This, when they see it procures them respect and that they lose no superiority by it but on the contrary, they grow into love and esteem with every body, they will take more pleasure in, than in insolent domineering; for so plainly is the other.

The complaints of children once against another, which is usually but the desiring the assistance of another to revenge them, should not be favourably received, nor hearkened to. It weakens and effeminates their minds to suffer them to complain: and if they endure sometimes crossing or pain from others, without being permitted to think it strange or intolerable, it will do them no harm to learn sufferance, and harden them early. But, though you give no countenance to the complaints of the querulous, yet take care to suppress all insolence and ill-nature. When you observe it yourself, reprove it before the injured party: but if the complaint be of something really worth your notice and prevention another time, then reprove the offender by himself alone, out of sight of him that complained, and make him go and ask pardon, and make reparation. Which coming thus, as it.were, from himself, will be the more cheerfully performed, and more kindly received, the love strengthened between them, and a custom of civility grow familiar amongst your children.

§ 110 3. Liberality. As to the having and possessing of things, teach them to part with what they have easily and freely to their friends; and let them find by experience, that the most liberal has always most plenty, with esteem and commendation to boot, and they will quickly learn to practise it. This, I imagine, will make brothers and sisters kinder and civiller to one another and consequently to others, than twenty rules about good manners, with which children are ordinarily perplexed and cumbered. Covetousness, and the desire of having in our possession, and under our dominion, more than we have need of, being the root of all evil, should be early and carefully weeded out; and the contrary quality, of a readiness to impart to others, implanted. This should be encouraged by great commendation and credit, and constantly taking care, that he loses nothing by his liberality. Let all the instances he gives of such freeness be always repaid, and with interest; and let him sensibly perceive, that the kindness he shows to others is no ill husbandry for himself; but that it brings a return of kindness, both from those that receive it, and those who look on. Make this a contest among children, who shall out-do one another this way. And by this means, by a constant practice, children having made it easy to themselves to part with what they have, good-nature may be settled in them into an habit, and they may take pleasure, and pique themselves in being kind, liberal, and civil to others.