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(Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
Wow! Are those real?
You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
You are the reason men fall in love.
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
Are we related? Do you want to be?
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
You remind me of a girl I used to date.
Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
You remind me of a girl I used to date.
Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).
If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God.
I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you."
You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now?
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
Bond. James Bond.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
I have only three months to live...
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
What's your sign?
BOB BARKER PICKUP LINES.
Come back to my place so I can give you a lovely parting gift.
Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love.
The next item up for bid is in my pants.
How'd you like a years supply of Turtle Wax.
I've made thousands of women scream and jump up and down.
Please have dinner with me. I'm a very lonely man.
Maybe it'll be easier for you to guess the price of the waterbed if we test it out first.
Don't worry--I've been neutered.
Come on down.
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
Good candy isn`t made... it`s just born.
Do you believe in love at first site, or do I have to walk by again?
Would you like to dance? [she says "no"] No, you must have misunderstood me, I SAID, you look fat in those pants!
Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
If I said you have a great body would you hold it against me?
What do you say we go back to my place and play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the heck out of me!
Want to play lion? (She asks, "What's that?") That's where you get down on all fours and growl like a lion while I feed you the meat!
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
Walk up to a girl who is standing and say, "You look tired, let me clear you off a place to sit" then wipe your face.
Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long!
It's always good for you to see me again.
My wife/husband just doesn't understand me.
I know where there is a good party. They've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
(speak this silently with mouth) I want a fig newton.
Do you want cheesy lines or do you just want to do it? .
So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.
Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
Say, did we go to different schools together?
Would you like to dance or should I go f*** myself again?
Do you like clocks? (if yes) put two hands and a face on this. (pointing down)
Excuse me, maam, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Hi. Are you legal?
Hi. You'll do.
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
I think I could fall madly in bed with you..
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
You smell wet. Let's Party.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
Hey..somebody farted. Let's get out of here..
Have you ever played leap frog naked??.
I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
Can I see your tan lines?.
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
Lie down. I think I love you.
Excuse me, are you ready to go home yet?
I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line? Are you disappointed?
Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.
Your face or mine?
I'm single!
Would you like to see my boa constrictor?
Would you like to come and party in my toolshed?
As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.
Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.
Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"
Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong?
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper.
What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
You are the only reason why I came in here alone.
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
Stop, Drop, and Roll baby 'cause you're on fire!
Walk up to a guy/girl hold up a $100 (or more if you're desperate) dollar bill and rip it in half in front of his/her face write your phone number on half of it and hand it to them. Then say, "how about you call me tomorrow and we'll figure out a way to spend this money?"
When I first saw you I almost had to call an ambulance to take me away because the sight of you stopped my heart!
Do you have a sunburn baby, or are you always this hot?
Baby you're a sex crime waiting to happen.
Did you have Campbell's soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good!
Hey so you want to see some magic? You and I will go to your place have sex and I'll disappear in the morning.
Would you like to be my love buffet so I can lay you on a table and take what I want?
Darn girl you even look good with the lights on!
If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them.
So, I see you eat with utensils. Well, I've got one that I'm just dying to put in your drawers.
You look a little feverish. Luckily I always have an oral thermometer on me.
Do you like blueberries or strawberries, 'cause I want to know what kind of pancakes to order in the morning.
My mattress is a little hard. Would you like to help me break it in?
Before you run, I am not a freak.
Hello? Oh, your body was calling me from across the room.
Coffee? Tea? Me?
I've got an alarm clock that makes the best sound in the morning. Would you like to come and hear it?.
I'm an army recruiter. Why don't you come over to my place and "be all you can be."
You must be a chef, because you certainly are mighty spicy.
Excuse me, your fly is down. Oops, maybe not now but definately later.
If you were a pair of pants I'd wear you out!!
The best part of me is covered up.
That dress would look awfully nice on my bedroom floor...
Take a chance on me.
There's an aura about you that's hidden and I want to bring that aura out.
This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.
Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelight dinner later tonight?
What did you say? Oh, I thought you were talking to me.
You should be someone's wife.
Can I please be your slave tonight?
Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?
Hey, wanna see my R2D2 impersonation? (Think about it...)
I like your shoes! Do you like mine??
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
Would you like someone to mix with your drink?
Would you like to be in movies?
Hey babe, did you know I'm on the Harvard Mailing List?
Whatever you do, don't ever cut that silky hair of yours!
I'm so lonely I'd do anyone. Buy you a drink?.
Hey, what's your sign? No, your Chinese zodiac sign. How old are you, stupid? You legal?.
If you get in the van I'll give you an ice cream sandwich.
Know what I like best about you baby? You haven't maced me yet.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you.
Oooh, you're lookin' fine. Not in the good way, in the "you'll do" way.
Hey, can I try on your dentures.
I'm either going home with you or behind you, take your pick.
I think, of all the Dakotas, my favorite is South...next to you. Your name is Dakota, right? Oh really? OK, then I'd have to say South, followed by North.
Hi. I hope to someday collect twist ties.
I really want to know more about you... starting with why you have that stupid look on your face.
Dear God, I'm so itchy. Buy you a cocktail weenie?.
Hey baby, wanna sleep with your father.
Mom and dad's outta town and the house is mine. Eh? Eh?.
Someone call heaven, 'cause I think something died in here.
If we're quiet, my roommate'll never know we're bumping uglies.
I'll bet you a night of dinner and a movie that my finger smells worse than yours.
Pray here often?
A woman like you makes me wish our mechitza were see-through
Smile if you want me!.
By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and damn, I look good!.
I'm the doctor of love baby and you're over due for your meat injection.
Hey baby, where you been all my life.
Hey babe! did you hear about the guy and the girl who talked together at the dance? Well...Let me read you the story tonight when I tuck us into bed.
Do you wanna come back to my house for sex and pizza? No? You don't like pizza?
Are you a Pokemon?? Cuz i'd sure like to pikachu!!.
Did you drop something? Cause you sure look like you are picking up.
Hey baby, are you like Sprite because you make me want to obey my thirst.
My love for you is like the Energizer Bunny, it keeps going and going....
If you were a library book, I would check you out.
You are the hottest thing since sunburn.
Let's make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look.
Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?.
It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean.
Is that a run in your stockings, or is it the stairway to heaven?.
I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} OOh it says your gonna call me soon!.
I was just checking your tag to see if you were made in heaven.
Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?.
Hey babe, can I have your number? I think it'll look better in my pocket than in your head.
Look at all those curves, and me with no brakes!!! .
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast! .
I think you've got something in your eye. Oh nevermind, it's just a sparkle.
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
You must be Jamaican, Cause you Jamaican me crazy.
Is your father a farmer? Because you sure do have some nice melons.
Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.
I love every bone in your body, especially mine.
Can you help me find my puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
Your so hot I could roast my meat on you, baby.
Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?.
Baby, you're like a championship bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!.
Can we play baseball? You have a nice bat but instead of a ball- lets use my hole!.
Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!.
My name's Pogo, d'ya wanna jump on my stick?.
Guess what?! I've got an 8" tounge and I can breath out of my ears!.
Can I put my beef in your taco?.
I'd die happy if I saw you naked.
Does beauty run in your family?
What are you looking at?
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