I didn’t do it! Ewe did!
(X-men fanfic)

Gambit: Daniel
Rogue: Kei
Psylocke: Zion
Spike: Luana

Nightcrawler: Draco
Jean Grey: Reluna
Cyclops: Andrew
Beast: Aki
Wolverine: Raven
Storm: Marejia
Xavier: Schlegal
Wolfbane: Naze
Shadowcat: Gwen
Jubilee: Sparkles
Archangel: Steve
Boom-Boom: Toni
Forge: Gumby
Cecilia Reves: Deanna

Daniel: “Aw, dammit!!”
Kei: “What the hell are you doing?”
            Daniel lounged on the couch making attempts at flicking cards into a red, plaid hat on the coffee table.  Kei stood there with a confused look on her face.
Daniel: “I’m…(flick card)…trying…(flick card)…to…(flick card)…get…(flick card)…this…(flick card) …into…
            (flick card)…that…(flick card)Whoo!!!!! I got
Kei: “Er… okaaaay?”
            Daniel got up from the couch and began to pick up the cards.  Kim and Rachael walked into the room.
Zion: “Hi!”
Luana: “Hiyo!”
Kei: “Hi!”
Daniel: “Hey!”
Zion: “Do you know where I could find Bethy and Andrew?”
Kei: “Er…”
Daniel: “Uh…I think they’re outside…”
*---*: “Yep, they’re outside!”
Zion(startled): “Ah! Draco! Stop doing that!!”
Draco: “Doing what?”
Zion: “Stop popping up out of nowhere!”
            Draco tried to hold in a laugh.
            *  *  *
            Reluna and Andrew were taking a walk together in the garden. They passed Aki who was reading a book on a bench. Sparkles was showing off the fireworks that sprung from his hands and was captivated by their glow. Gwen sat underneath a tree, trying to read one of her books. Naze worked on her landscape painting that stood on an easel beneath the shade of the deck. Steve just watched the clouds pass by with his wings spread out.
Reluna: “It’s so peaceful, today.”
Andrew: “Uh-huh…”
            They stopped at a clearing where Raven was doing some self-training. Her metal claws shot out of her knuckles and she swung her arms in a swiping motion at a rose bush. Her leather jacket shined in the sunlight.
Reluna: “More training, Raven?”
Raven: “Yep…”
            The top half of the rose bush fell over in a clean cut.
Andrew: “What the hell?”
Raven: “Y’know, I gotta stop doing that…”
Reluna: “Y’think?”
Andrew: “Maybe instead of cutting the bushes in half, you could use those claws to trim
            the hedges.”
Raven(sarcastically): “Ha-ha. Shut-up! Smack!”
            Toni appeared from behind a bush.
Toni: “Hey guys, y’wanna see something?”
Reluna: “If it’s about your power, then no because we’ve already seen it…millions of times!”
Toni: “Oh c’mon! Doncha’ wanna see it again for the million and first time?”
            *  *  *
Marejia: “Schlegal, there’s something wrong, here….”
Schlegal: “There is, isn’t there?”
Gumby: “What is it?”
            They crowded around a security screen. Mike held a screwdriver from working on something new.
Marejia: “We need to call everyone…”
            *  *  *
            The gang stood there in the metallic high-tech room of the lab and waited for the urgent news.
Kei(arms folded and pissed/disappointed look): “This better be good! I’m missing Incubus!”
            Daniel began to sing a verse or two of an Incubus song. Kei started to get caught up in it and almost began to sing along when the Professor(Schlegal) approached them.
Schlegal: “Yes, there is a reason why we gathered you here…there’s a huge problem…”
Marejia: “The problem…”
The rest: “Yes?”
Marejia: “..is…”
Rest: “Yes, yes?”
Marejia: “…that…”
Rest: “YES!?”
Marejia: “…our…”
Rest: “Just tell us, already!!”
Marejia: “…sheep is gone!”
Rest: “*gasp!*”
Naze: “No! Not Scruffy!!”
Gwen: “Wait, we have a sheep?”
Aki: “Apparently we do.”
Steve: “Scruffy? Who names a sheep Scruffy?”
Xavier: “*clears throat* We don’t know who’s the culprit and we don’t have any suspects in this crime. First, you                 need to find clues, X-men.”
Andrew: “C’mon, let’s go check out the sheep pen.
            *  *  *
            The crew gathered around the sheep pen and stared blankly at the hoof prints.
Jubilee(Sparkles): “I can’t believe we have a sheep…”
Beast(Aki): “I know, really…wiggity-wiggity.”
Wolfbane(Naze): “Hey…are sheep supposed to have different sized hooves?”
Spike(Luana): “Whatta whatta?”
Wolfbane: “Look! One set of prints are way smaller than the other.”
Wolverine(Raven): “A sheep musta’ done it!!”
Nightcrawler(Draco): “Evil sheep!”
Rogue(Kei): “Is it just me or is it weird for sheep to kidnap sheep…?”
Shadowcat(Gwen): “Sheep can kidnap sheep?”
Archangel(Steve): “What’s that?”
            He pointed to an object that was mostly covered with hay.  He walked over to it, then came back to the group with the recovered object.
Psylocke(Zion): “A badge..?”
Gambit(Daniel): “A cop badge…?”
Nightcrawler: “See! Cops are bad!!”
            Psylocke stepped back and tripped.
Psylocke: “Dammit! What the hell did I trip over?”
            Boom-boom(Toni) bent down and picked it up.
Boom-boom: “It’s a billiard ball.”
Jubilee: “Is there something written on it?”
Boom-boom: “Uh… there’s an ‘8’! Wait…uh…there’s a name!”
Cyclops(Andrew): “So, there’s a sheep, a cop, and a guy that plays pool… okaaaay? Let’s split up!”
Jubilee: “Do you think Deanna’s seen Scruffy?”
Cyclops: “Uh…we can check… okay… split up and remember…beat the shit out of them!”
            *   *   *
Cyclops, Jean(Reluna), Wolverine, and Jubilee went off to visit Deanna.
Cyclops: “Okay, so this is where she works? She’s a doctor?”
Wolverine: “Yep. She turned down Bagel(Schlegal)(Schlegal: “That’s not my name!”)because she’s not ready to
            come out of the closet, yet. Like Gumby. Only out of a different closet.”
Jean: “Oh, I get it. And now she’s a doctor?”
Wolverine: “Yep!”
Jubilee: “Are we just going to stand outside the hospital building all day?”
             *  *  *
            Gambit, Rogue, and Boom-boom took off to find the guy who owned the billiard ball. They finally found him and broke into his own private pool club where he was busy playing pool.
Gambit: “Alright! What’d you do with our sheep!?”
Rogue: “Yeah, asshole!!”
Boom-boom: “Give back Scruffy!!!”
Guy: “Wha-?”
Boom-boom: “Y’know! Our sheep!!!! Big and poofy!!”
Rogue: “Yeah, big and poofy!”
Guy: “Sheep? What would I do with a sheep?”
Rogue and Boom-boom: “Eat it!!?”
Guy: “Uh…vegetarian?”
Gambit: “That’s it! We want our sheep and we want it now!! Dammit!”
            Rogue began to take of her left glove.
Gambit: “Uh…Rogue… I think you should wait for the…uh…life-sucking-memory-draining…thing….”
Rogue(disappointedly): “Fine….”
            Gambit and Boom-boom charged towards him and attacked him. Rogue, on the other hand, walked over to the wall and sat down crossed-legged with her chin resting on her hand and her elbow resting on her knee. The room was illuminated by charged cards and thrown explosives from Gambit and Boom-boom. Finally, they were finished and the room was completely destroyed. A weak, bruised, and burned up pool player lay motionless on the ground.
Gambit(rubbing his hands together): “Well, it turns out… he doesn’t have Scruffy.”
Rogue(Getting up): “Then why’d you keep beating him up?”
Gambit: “Just for the hell of it!”
Boom-boom: “Yep!”
Rogue: “Then why’d you leave me out of it!?”
            Rogue stood there facing them with her arms crossed and a pouty  look on her face.
            *  *  *
            Spike, Shadowcat, Nightcrawler, and Wolfbane found the nearest sheep farm to investigate.  Hundreds of sheep grazed in a large field.
Nightcrawler: “Ah!! Evil sheep!!!”
Shadowcat: “Evil sheep!! Evil sheep!!”
Spike: “Evil!!! *Hiss!*”
Wolfbane: “Run!!”
            The four took off as fast as they could.
            *  *  *
            Archangel, Psylocke, and the Beast lurked in a dark alley in a large city to find a cop.
Beast: “Wiggity-wiggity!”
            Finally, a cop started to stroll by. In a flash, Psylocke and the cop were gone. There were yelps of despair.
Archangel: “Psylocke!?”
Beast: “Um… ah? I don’t… I think… y’know… uh… Zion stop beating up that poor cop!!!”
Psylocke(coming back to alley): “He had it coming!”
            *  *  *
            All the X-men came back to the Institute confused and some were disappointed. They were gathered in the area in front of the front door.
Cyclops: “Schlegal, we didn’t find it!!! No one knows about our sheep!”
Schlegal: “Hmm… who coulda’…”
Beast(dramatically): “SCRUFFY!!!!”
            The doorbell rang.  Storm(Marejia) opened the door to find a pizza boy holding a cardboard box of pizza.
Storm: “We didn’t order pizza….”
Pizzaguy: “No kidding!”
            Suddenly, the box and the pizzaboy morphed into something else.
X-men: “*gasp!* That Bitch in the Hallway!!!!”
Beast: “*gasp* Is tha-? It’s Scruffy!!! She has Scruffy!!!”
Mystique(Bitch in the hw)(holds sheep): “Yes! I took your precious, beloved sheep,Scruffy!”
Jean: “But…why!!???”
Mystique(shrugs): “I dunno.”
            All of a sudden, all the X-men ganged up on her and saved Scruffy. After a while, they left Mystique battered and immobile on the doorstep.
Nightcrawler: “That’s what you get for being so damn slow in the hallway!!! Oh, and for taking our sheep that we
            didn’t even know we had!!”
            *  *  *
            All the X-men returned to their normal routines after a pointless mission.
            *  *  *
           Zion, Luana, Daniel, and Kei were, again, in the rec room where Daniel began the day throwing cards at a hat.  Zion, Luana, and Daniel stood close to the doorway completely confused.
Zion: “What the hell was that?”
Luana: “I’m so confused!! That was so pointless!!”
Daniel: “Wait a minute…we have a sheep?”
Zion: “Uh…yeah!”
Daniel: “Why the hell do we have a sheep!?”
Kei: “Hey, guys!!!”
            They turned to find Kei in front of a turned on tv. Kei had a bright smile on her face as she pointed to the screen.
Kei: “It’s Incubus!!”
Daniel: “Dude!”
Zion: “My, God, you’re obsessed!”
Luana: “Yeah, no kidding!”

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