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1.Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged.
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang.
3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver.
7. Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at the red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of trousers, put sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you drive.
13. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.
16. At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19. Restart your car at every stop light.
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
22. Keep at least five cats in the car.
23. Squeegee your windshield at every stop.
24. If a firetruck comes up behind you, pull over, get on the roof of your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass!
25. Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.
26. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
27. Stop and collect roadkill.
28. Stop and pray for roadkill.
29. Stop and cook roadkill. (If in Tennessee.)
30. Throw Spam. Tape signs on windows protesting email abuse.
31. Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow... down... to... a stop. Then get out and watch the cars.
32. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
33. Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're in. When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
34. Sing without having the radio on.
35. At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around you, then gather them back up as the light changes and drive off...
36. Park in a driveway that's right next to a busy street that you know people speed on and hold a hairdryer up near the windsheild.... Watch how many people slow. XD
37. If you don't mind embarrassing the hell out of yourself, turn your music off and then lipsync to it like it was on. Watch how many people look at you weird.
38. Do the above one, only with the windows rolled down.
39. Drive around downtown blasting classical music with the windows down and see how many people look at you weird. Oh and headbang too
40. Every time you pull up to a "Stop" sign, get out of your car and walk over to the sign. Stare at if for a few seconds, then exclaim, outloud: "Ahh..Pots!". Go back to your car, grab a skillet or other cooking pot, then lay it at the base of the sign, and bow.
41. When backing up, scream "BEEP!" many times.
42. Print out a "Student Driver" sign, tape it to your back windshield, then swerve down the road.
43. Wear a helmet, then speed down the street. Then, at a stop light, ask the person in the car next to you "What's the best way to get to Daytona Speedway?"
44. Drive 5 mph, then scream "Oh my god! I'm out of control!"
45. At a stoplight, stop about 5 feet before the white line. Then get out, walk to the front of your car, stare at the line, then proceed to attempt to push your car to the line, before getting back in.
46. When driving down a hill, scream "NOO! MY BRAKES ARE FAILING!" ..watch how fast the cars in front of you swerve out of the way..then drive past, laughing manically.
47. Stick a "How's my driving?" sticker on the back of your car, and make sure it has your home phone number on it. Then, whenever someone calls, freak out, and scream at them, asking how they got the number.
48. Whenever a black car goes past, stand really stiff, salute, and scream "ITS THE GOVERNMENT!!!!"
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