19 Several of the BMW mail order parts suppliers no longer bother to ask you for your credit card number because they have it "on file."
18 Your favorite sections of the Roundel are the "parts for sale" in the classifieds and any article written by Rob Segal.
17 You subscribe to Grassroots Motorsports, European Car, and Autoweek, but you don't have time to read any of them because you're always in the garage.
16 You had a Conforti chip in your car back when Jim Conforti had a "real" job and the BMW Digest was nothing but a bunch of people just like you.
15 You know by heart all the "E" designations, the years they were manufactured, and their engine displacements.
14 A significant portion of your leisure wardrobe has a Roundel, an "M", or "BMW CCA" on it.
13 You have a factory manual, a Haynes manual, and a Bentley manual for every BMW you've ever owned and the only thing you use them for is to look up the torque specs.
12 The suspension on your BMW is so stiff that the headlights pop out on hard cornering, your passengers have to wear kidney belts, and the ground clearance can be measured in single-digit millimeters.
11 You've never understood what possessed the otherwise rational BMW engineers to manufacture cars with automatic transmissions.
10 You still wonder what drugs the BMW engineers were on when they designed the 1984 318i.
9 You have already done, or are seriously considering doing, one of the following:
.. (a) Hiring a guy with a jack hammer to cut down the concrete at the end of your driveway so that your front spoiler will stop scraping.
.. (b) Adding another garage to your house to lodge a full-size hydraulic lift, four sets of wheels (with tires), and enough tools to make Steve D'Gerolamo jealous.
.. (c) Putting a rollbar in your street car.
.. (d) Buying a high-mileage E30 325 or M3 to turn into a club racer.
8 You have any type of sealant or coating on your garage floor.
7 You personally know Duane Collie.
6 Your floor jack cost you more than your last set of track tires.
5 Your collection of tools is worth more than the first car you ever bought.
4 You have more than two BMW-related decals on your car windows.
3 Half the bookmarks in your Netscape software are links to BMW-related sites (or, alternatively, your only bookmark is Ben Liaw's list of BMW links).
2 You know how to properly pronounce "Dinan" and "Bilstein" and you aren't employed by either firm.
And the number 1 way to tell if you're a BMW gearhead: You regard your annual trek to Gateway Tech as a "return to Mecca."
by Bob Stommel
Hoosier Chapter
Indianapolis
To go back to the Home Page Click Here