CES Newsletter

The Wild Rose of the Chesapeake

Vol. 4, No. 11

November, 2001

This Month's Features:

Meeting Schedule

Minutes of the CES Chapter Meeting, October 27, 2001

Chi Epsilon Sigma and Rho Tau Celebrate Halloween Together, by Rachel Rene Boyd

Taking Things for Granted, by Rosemary Mac

Kalina's Corner, by Kalina Mirev

The Basic Black Dress , By Rebecca Adams

Impact of Crossdressing on Wives, Part III, by Dr. Kate Thomas

Going Out in Public, Part II, by Rachel Rene Boyd

Reporting from Washington, This is Rita Richards

Ask Miss Chatelaine

From the Editrix

This newsletter is a labor of love for each of our contributing editrixes. Please join the staff by submitting your own insights into the world of crossdressing. You can send your input to RRBoyd@aol.com, or R. R. Boyd, P.O. Box 2252, Ashburn, VA 20146-9152.

Rachel Rene Boyd
Newsletter Editrix

From the Editrix

Dear CES Sisters,

Our dearest sister, Grace Gardener, continues to make progress recovering from her stroke last summer. We have all been following her progress, both in email and personal visits. She has made remarkable progress, but still has a long road ahead of her. The milestones get farther apart during the later months of recovery. Grace has been very special to all of us. She was the spark plug that got Chi Epsilon Sigma going. In a very real way, she was the one who enabled all of us to come together and receive the support we need in our lives. Grace still needs our support. Please continue to pray for her recovery. A card, a phone call, and especially a visit would mean a great deal to Grace, and each will contribute to her recovery. May God bless.
Rachel Rene Boyd
Newsletter Editrix

Meeting Schedule

November 17

Several sisters are going to Lake Erie Gala, but there will be a meeting at the usual meeting site. Program will be a "Night at the Movies" but we need someone to step forward and coordinate the meeting. Contact Rebecca at beckyxd@hotmail.com

December 1

Holiday Party at a local restaurant en femme with spouses. A room will be available after 3:00 p.m. at the hotel for those who need to change.

January 26

Fashion Show hosted by Rebecca

Minutes of the CES Chapter Meeting October 27, 2001

"And who are you supposed to be?" The October Halloween Meeting took place on the 27th and the following were in attendance: Barbara Van Horn (being a little "catty"), Kay (new member), Mary Alice (Ms Elegance), Rebecca (the Republican Party's night"mare") and Anne ("the mad artiste), Rita (Ms "Horse" Sense) Rosemary and Theresa (new members), Terri (AKA Nurse Ratchet) and Cindy (Poodle skirt and all). There were also a number of Chapter members who attended Rho Tau's party in Williamsburg. Those making the trip were: Missey and Rene, Marsha and Doneene, Emily and Laurie, Vicki and Cheri, Tiffany and Carol, Sue and Terri, and Rachel. There was no organized program for the evening...which always works out for this group. We enjoyed being able to discuss both privately and publicly a number of points and ideas and the upshot was that all had a great time being able to socialize. We enjoyed the company of three new members--Kay and Rosemary and Theresa, the latter two coming over from New Jersey to attend our meetings and to belong to our Chapter. Among the items discussed--besides the propensity of mayors and model railroaders to also be crossdressers--or is it the other way?--were the inadequacy of a certain Maryland city to handle suspicious mail properly and the feasibility of a newspaper article about the Chapter. The latter point came up in a discussion about the natural phenomena of members joining as they come "out" of the closet, getting a degree of comfort and familiarity and then moving on with their lives--an accepted fact but one that also means many no longer make the time, or have the time, for Chapter activities. So the stark reality is that there is a dedicated core of members, some Charter but not too many, and a large number of one-year members who sort of drift away. But there are still large numbers of MTF crossdressers out there--such as Hemingway's son who recently committed suicide--who may not know that there is a support group known as Tri-Ess in the area. And here is where an article in the Sun might be of assistance to them--and to us in the long run. It might be an idea worth kicking around and developing some parameters for actual implementation. The meeting closed about 9:30 PM with the usual "offering" of a plate of goodies to the semi-gods who run the front desk! Respectfully submitted, Rebecca Adams

Chi Epsilon Sigma and Rho Tau Celebrate Halloween Together

Several Chi Epsilon Sigma sisters made the trip to Williamsburg October 27 to celebrate the high holy days of crossdressing with Rho Tau. Those making the trip were: Missey and Rene, Marsha and Doneene, Emily and Laurie, Vicki and Cheri, Tiffany and Carol, Sue and Terri, and Rachel. The Rho Tau sisters were the perfect hostesses, as Southern ladies are born and breed to be. The affair was held at 1776 Holiday Inn near Colonial Williamsburg. We had a spacious ballroom to ourselves. A marvelous buffet dinner was served. I'd love to give you the details of the menu. But all I remember was that it was delicious, and that it finished with pecan pie! The only program was to mix and enjoy each other's company. That made for a delightful time. Some of our group arrived on Friday and enjoyed the sights and sounds of Colonial Williamsburg. One of the highlights of the early arrivals was the sister who went to dinner Friday night in drab, but forgot to remove her nail polish. Modesty prevents me from identifying the lady making that faux pax. But word will get around. The waitress serving her table took notice. The party in question explained to the waitress that he was getting ready to go to a Halloween Party the following night dressed as a woman. In fact, a couple of the guys at the table had made a pact to do the same thing. They promised to come back to the restaurant the following night to show the interested waitress their "costumes" (Ahem!). Being ladies of their word, they returned to the restaurant (for yet another dessert) after the Rho Tau party. The waitress from the night before was astonished at how lovely our sisters were. She proceeded to point out our sisters to some other patrons. "See those ladies at the other table. The two on the end, and the one on the other end are actually guys. Would you believe it?" Later the waitress came back and said another waitress spoke to her in the kitchen and said, "Why did you call them out like that? They probably don't want to be noticed." Our sister's waitress defended them. "Oh, they didn't mind. They were just doing this for Halloween. Otherwise they would be transvestites!"

Taking Things for Granted

By Rosemary Mac

All of us take many things for granted. We take our bodies and lives for granted. We take our good health for granted until it is gone. We often take our loved ones for granted until they are gone. We take our youth for granted until it is gone. Oh, how I would I like my blonde hair and wrinkle free skin back! As a crossdresser, one thing that I have been taking for granted if my wife. I have been crossdressing from an early age when my older sister used me for a doll and dressed me in her clothes. She used to say, "let's play dresses". I remember a navy blue satin dress that tied in the back with a big bow. With my curly blonde hair and blue eyes, I thought I was pretty cute. She would also comb my hair into bangs and place bows in my hair. I continued crossdressing until my father decided that I should become a "real man". He brought me to a boxing gym in New York City. My boxing coach worked with me every day, and then arranged a match between me and a red headed kid about the same size and age. I forgot everything I had learned, but my left hook left my opponent with a bloody nose. I so greatly impressed the coaches that they scheduled a real fight for me in a boxing show sponsored by the local church. I was a member of the Catholic Youth Organization Boxing Team. My first fight was before a crowd of a few thousand screaming and yelling fans. The smoke was so thick I could hardly see the other side of the auditorium. I won that fight while receiving only a few bruises and a swollen eye. My next few fights were also wins, so they upgraded me to fight a more formidable opponent. I could have won this next bout because I knocked my opponent down. But I had just been down myself and was too fuzzy to go to the neutral corner so the count could begin. As a result my opponent got up in time, and I got hit with an overhand roundhouse punch that gave me a deviated septum. I woke up in my corner with the aid of an ammonia capsule. One of my seconds asked me how many fingers he had, and I gave the correct answer. So they lifted me off the stool and I continued to fight, although I did not know it. I woke up next in the locker room with more ammonia, my coach slapping me in the face. At my family doctor's office the next day I was told I had suffered a concussion and I should not box again. My coach told me I had a "killer instinct" because I was punching even when I was not conscious of it. I do remember when I was down the first time I was trying to get up, but everything was whirling around and I tumbled over as I tried to get up. I made the count, but I was embarrassed because my girlfriend was sitting in the third row. I was talked into fighting again, so one month later I faced Juan of San Juan. I defeated him with my left jab because I was now more cautious. I lost a decision in a Golden Gloves semi-final, then won another Golden Gloves. While in the armed forces, I won tow regimental boxing tournaments, and then lost in the championship. Prior to entering the armed forces I continued to crossdress by borrowing my sister's skirts, dresses and makeup. Although I could not do much of this in the service, I remember on the evening before my last championship fight I went window shopping in the large city near the base looking for dresses and female shoes. After the war I went to college where I majored in physics and minored in math. I met my wife, who was also a science major, and we married a few years later. Shortly after our marriage I decide to tell her about my crossdressing. She wanted to go to her mother's home and I thought it was all over. She returned with some dresses and lingerie and told me to have a good time. She even gave me a green bridesmaid dress that I was barely able to squeeze in to. For many years she allowed me to dress up until we had two teenage sons who were curious about the sizes of their mother's clothes. After they married and left home, I resumed my habit. Everything was fine until I joined Tri-Ess and wanted to join a chapter and dress at meetings. My wife wanted no part of this. Finally I convinced her there was nothing to be afraid of and she began attending meetings and met other wives. I didn't really appreciate her until I read heard about other experiences where crossdressers were found out by their wives and a stormy unpleasant reaction resulted in divorce. I know now how fortunate I was to have such a tolerant wife. As a result I now appreciate her even more. I fought a total of 17 amateur fights and won 12. Many of the members of Chi Epsilon Sigma and Sigma Nu Rho have seen my fight pictures and clippings, as well as my scientific publication. My boxing did not preclude a scientific career. I earned a Master of Science degree in physics, and retired as a physicist and electronics engineer. After all of these years I have decided to have the damage done to my nose repaired, so tomorrow morning at 0630, October 30, 2001, I will be operated on. At the same time the cosmetic surgeon will reshape my nose, making it more attractive. He will also give me a facelift, which should make crossdressing more fun. I will (or should) be ready for the Chi Epsilon Sigma, Sigma Nu Rho, and Endless Mountain Girls Holiday Parties!

Kalina's Corner

By Kalina Mirev

COME, MY GIRL

The park in the fall
Painted in yellow
An alley of ash trees and rowans
The air full of fragrance
Of sadness
I'm walking alone
The town's busy streets
Roar of engines and rage
Suffocated by fumes
I'm running ahead
The rags from shop windows
Are shouting to me:
"Buy us, Kalina!
We need your body!"
But solitude hangs
Over my soul
And I am repeating
"Come, my girl, come!"
Where are you, dear?
My supportive GG
God only knows
He guides our lives
A boy in a dress
Two wind zipped souls
gathered in a file
Named "CD"
Would you accept
The boy and the girl?
I'll love you forever
I'm tender and soft
As satin and silk...
I'll be a dad and a mom
For our baby...
Just come to me, girl
And take my anguish away.
I'm in a dress
But I AM A MAN
Just love me, dear
And I will be yours
Forever, for life...

Kalina lives in Bulgaria and can be reached at moskvich408@yandex.ru.

The Basic Black Dress

By Becky Adams

I don't know when I have so anxiously waited for a package to come in the mail as I have the pending arrival of my first "basic black dress." As a "more than casual observer" of feminine attire for a number of years, long before I "walked out of the closet," I was aware of that particular outfit's ubiquitous role in every woman's wardrobe. I finally realized that I didn't have such an item in my closet...so I took the opportunity to order a couple of black dresses through a mail order house. Once the order was in the mail, I literally started counting the days until the dresses would arrive. I began to visualize what I would look like and to sense what it would feel like going out so attired. I have to admit that my "drab" side never experienced either sensation--either the visualization of wearing a particular suit or the anticipation of the physical sensations associated with wearing a certain outfit. I then began to realize that Rebecca was experiencing--and living--a great deal more of life than her masculine side ever did. Something "both" of us are very happy and pleased about! But this sort of begs the bigger question--why? Why would Rebecca--who is the same person as Bill--sense feelings that Bill didn't and doesn't? Frankly, my masculine self doesn't anticipate what I am going to wear anything like my feminine self does. Even today, over five years into the blending of the two selves I don't appreciate the wearing of masculine attire the way I do feminine garb. Is that a result of the greater tactile sensations of my feminine self? Is it a result of the many years of where just thinking about wearing something feminine was taboo? And arousing? Is it a result of the realization that clothing can be more than utilitarian? I really don't know. Do you?

Impact of Crossdressing on Wives

By Kate Thomas, Ph.D.

This is the conclusion of a three-part series taken from a presentation made by Dr. Kate Thomas to Chi Epsilon Sigma September 23, 2000. In this presentation, Dr. Thomas outlines the latest theories on why people crossdress, what impact crossdressing has on wives, and takes questions from the membership. As Dr. Thomas notes, most of the research and literature focuses on the male crossdresser. This forum focuses on the impact crossdressing has on wives, and offers some ideas for couples to use in coping with crossdressing. Kate Thomas holds a Ph.D. from Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, and is an Assistant Professor of Nursing at Villa Julie College. She is also adjunct faculty to University of Maryland, University of Senchen (China), and Institute for the Advance Study of Human Sexuality. She is a Licensed Registered Nurse, Clinical Specialist in Psychiatric Nursing, a Licensed Nurse Psychotherapist, and Diplomat of the American Board of Sexology.

Part III Questions and Answers

This is the transcript of the dialogue with wives and crossdressers following Dr. Thomas' presentation.

Kate: Do any of the wives have an experience of shifting their feelings? Some days it feels okay, and other days not?

Wife: Joan who has known forever about Lucy (40+ years), says it is still a roller coaster. When she is tired or stressed, just doesn't want to see Lucy. Peggy Rudd has voiced the same feeling.

K: Self-esteem goes up and down normally, and that can impact on acceptance of crossdressing.

K: How do males feel about your wife being up and down with it?

CD: We need to be sensitive to those fluctuations.

K: The crossdresser is asking for understanding, but he has to be understanding back to his when his wife is not okay with it.

CD: A lot has to do with the amount of time spent crossdressing, because it can be like losing your man to another woman.

K: That balance is important. One of my client couples did fine with it initially. They were very understanding, accepting people. After about 3-4 years, crossdressing was all he did. He came home from work, dressed and went to the basement and got on the Internet. Even on weekends. She finally left him. She said it felt like he had left her. She left the marriage not because he was a crossdresser, but because she felt like she had been abandoned.

CD: The same thing could happen with golf or hunting. Losing all balance.

CD: What can we do to reach out to our wives?

K: Tri-Ess provides the possibility for wives to support other wives. I recommend that the wife find someone in her life she can talk to. The husband may not want that. But someone needs to know and provide a support for the wife. This all takes a tremendous amount of understanding. The crossdresser asks for understanding and acceptance. But it doesn't come without understanding and acceptance back. Ask what the limits should be and stick to them. There is a tendency to push the limits, but learn to live within reasonable limits. Sit down with your partner and negotiate limits.

CD: Most crossdressers relate initial experiences of crossdressing being very sexual, but later sex becomes a small part of the comfort we feel with crossdressing. It becomes a more pervasive feeling of femininity. During puberty it is often very auto erotic. Eventually the crossdresser doesn't know why he does it, but it is not for sexual gratification, whereas a transvestite does crossdress for sexual gratification.

K: I very much agree with you on the difference between a crossdresser's and a transvestite's motivation. CDs seem to want to be accepted.

CD: How do we deal with the spiritual side?

K: That's a challenge. Sometimes it's a problem for both people, if they have a religious belief that opposes crossdressing. As a therapist, I can't be a spiritual advisor. One has to question beliefs that are at odd with whom they know they are. You have to question those beliefs. I have a friend who is a Moslem Inam, who says the negative beliefs about crossdressing came from a time when people didn't know much about biology. There developed a lot of prohibitions that probably don't make sense today.

CD: Many of us rejected our crossdressing for years. One Tri-Ess poll asked when people started crossdressing. Most said age 5 or 6. Some started later (early 40s), but most were under 14.

K: This mimics the new understanding we have of when puberty begins. It is much earlier, say 5 or 6, than previously understood. It relates to when we first noticed sexual attractions.

K: Coming back to wives. If you are interested in the religious aspects, I have some good sources for you to read.

CD: Do you find that wives' and society's attitude toward crossdressing has changed over the years?

K: Society has a long way to go. On a case-by-case basis, there have been some changes. There are changing roles for men and women. It began with sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s. Today people marry for very different reasons. Marriages that survive are happier and often allow more individual expression, and this may accommodate crossdressing. Societal acceptance has a long way to go. Society is comfortable with women in masculine roles, but not yet comfortable with men in feminine roles.

W: When husbands present themselves as female, they often exhibit teen-age girl behavior, e.g., obsessing in front of a mirror. The crossdresser is forcing his wife to look at him dressed as a woman, while behaving like a 9-year old, and telling her he is still her lover. Crossdressers want to tell their wives what they are, and why they are, and then ask for acceptance but without listening to and responding to the wives' perspective. And that is adolescent.

K: If you make the slightest critical comment, the crossdresser feels rejected. But you can't change who you are. You can't change your essence. That is one of the reasons for a conversation like this--to let the wives voice these concerns. You want to keep your marriage, so you both have to understand the other side of things.

W: It is like trying to get across to a 15-year old daughter.

K: Yes, it is adolescent-like behavior.

W: Many wives today were raised when women were supposed to be more submissive, so a lot of wives have difficult time saying what they feel because they don't want to hurt their husbands. When women discuss this amongst themselves, where men can't hear the discussion, no progress is made.

K: That's why a forum like this is better because when it is one on one with your spouse it can become criticism. In a forum like this you can hear it from others and it does not seem so threatening. I encourage you to do this honestly and include the ability to express negative feelings. It's okay--its part of what it takes to work through the issues in the relationship.

W: I needed validation of my own feelings. I was confused when confronted with crossdressing. I thought there was another woman. But my husband was surprised I thought this.

K: Discussion gives it credibility--knowing it is what others are feeling.

CD: We learn to listen better through this kind of forum. Through my formative years men were trained to be insensitive to feelings. Feelings were bad. We learned to suppress all emotion.

K: Right, it really goes beyond the crossdressing. Women say the positive side of having a husband who crossdresses is his sensitivity and emotion. Wives may not like crossdressing at first, but may come around if they see they can get something for it.

CD: Have you seen where crossdressing has increased communication between husband and wife?

K: Yes, definitely. Some women say, "I wouldn't wish this on any one, but it has caused us to open up to one another."

Dr. Kate Thomas can be reached at katesx@juno.com.

Going Out in Public

By
Rachel Rene Boyd

Tips on how to have fun in public,while minimizing the possibility of having a bad experience.
This article is the second in a series taken from a presentation I made to Chi Epsilon Sigma on June 23, 2001 summarizing what I have found to be true about going out. While drawing on my own experience, it also makes uses of several articles published on TGForum. For publication in The Wild Rose of the Chesapeake, this article is broken into four parts:

Part I------------Places You Can Go While Crossdressed
Part II-----------Personal Security Precautions
Part III----------Creating A Passable Image
Part IV----------Those Difficult Bathroom Issues

Part II Personal Security Precautions

Whenever you go out in public crossdressed, you increase your chances of being attacked.

� Personal safety and the ability to pass
� Dress to fit in, age and style appropriate
� Avoid places any lady would avoid
� Know the local laws
� Carry a transgender identification card

In today's world, no matter who you are, safety should never be forgotten. Things have improved for the TG community; however, the general level of safety in our society has deteriorated. You must always be vigilant, and keep yourself out of compromising situations. The less attention you draw to yourself, the less likely you will be the target of nefarious deeds.

Related to safety is the business of passing. Really, this need not be a problem. Dressing in a style that blends in with the local fashion of women in your age group is probably one of the biggest steps in the right direction.

Short skirts and extremely high heels draw a great deal of attention - no matter who is wearing them. Overly risqu� clothing is one of the best ways to be read, and attract the kind of attention you don't want. Avoid clothing that draws a lot of attention; unless of course it is your desire to be "noticed." There are certainly situations where that might be appropriate.

You are responsible for understanding the laws regarding your transgender activity. I would recommend you obtain a picture identification explaining your situation if you happen to be stopped by police. Regardless, if stopped by the authorities, make certain you cooperate, and explain in the clearest and most honest terms possible why you appear the way you do. Remember, if you act responsibly, with pride and dignity, you can enjoy your time out.

TIP: Get your Transgender ID card at www.transgender.org/rtc/tgid.html

More on Security

� Pick a partner
� Solo CDs have been targets of violence
� Groups of CDS are easily read

Like many things in life, the experience of going out in public is more rewarding when shared with someone. While not always possible, it is worth the effort to find a partner. Not only will you have more fun, but also there is safety in numbers. Who to go out with? Simple. A significant other is the best place to start. If you don't have an SO, consider a support group member.

For a great many people, the fear of going out in public can be overcome by having someone with whom to share the experience. You will likely find someone in your support group who would like to share your outings. It will help build your relationship, and your own personal confidence, as well as providing someone with whom to enjoy being out and about.

You are less likely to meet with difficulties when you are with another person, male or female. Those who would be tempted to harass a crossdresser who is alone, will think twice when there is a witness. All of the really ugly events I have heard about happened to a solo crossdressers.

But is there safety in numbers? Maybe, but a large group of crossdressers is more likely to be read. Not everyone presents well. So it is easier for a group to be read. The only times I have personally heard any negative comments when I was in public, was when I was with a group.

What if You are Read?

� Give someone else a chance to defend you
� Ask you abuser to repeat the abusive statement-they won't have the courage
� Humor the abuser
� Just ignore it, let it pass

The first and best way to handle snide remarks and verbal abuse is to have a strong self-image. You need to feel confident in who you are. Do not be ashamed of who you are, be proud, and that will shine through to people. Most people who harass or verbally abuse others are bullies. Bullies like to pick on people they perceive as weak, or helpless. They pick on others because of their own insecurity - your sense of insecurity will draw them to you like a pack of wolves to wounded prey.

The second way to handle criticism is to be prepared for it, expect it. Many of us have unrealistic expectations about being totally accepted by society. Plan on and prepare yourself for gawking looks, snide remarks, and critical comments. If you don't think you can handle it, then don't go out. Like an alligator you have to develop a thick skin. If you're prepared, and it doesn't happen, then all the better.

Do not take yourself too seriously. The use of self deprecating humor can often diffuse a very tense situation, and make you appear totally confident in who you are; be careful, don't allow that to be an invitation to further abuse.

Another approach is to consider the source of the verbal abuse. Most often (I am tempted to write always) this type of verbal abuse comes from the type of person whose opinion you don't value anyway. If that's the case, why let what they say bother you - just ignore it, let it pass.

TIP: Use extreme caution in a confrontation. You may be dealing with someone who has a very short fuse.

Next month in Part III, Creating A Passable Image, you will find tips on how to create the illusion that you are indeed female.

Acknowledgements: This presentation was compiled from my own experience and several articles that are available on TG Forum (http://www.tgforum.com) including:
Leslee Anthony, "To Pass or Not To Pass: That is the Question"
Jennifer Blake, "Go Public!"
Diane Hutchinson, "Crossdressing and Bathrooms, a Dangerous Combination?"
Diane Hutchinson, "Passing Is Possible: Follow The Women"
Diane Hutchinson, "Reliving Fear"
Heather Lee , "All Dressed Up And...Everywhere To Go!"
Heather Lee , "Handling the Critical EYE: Take a Lesson from ALLI"
Carolyn Woodward, "Self Image, Appearance, and Deportment"

ReportingFrom Washington,
This is Rita Richards

"Move over, Diane Sawyer!"
It's certainly no secret that many Chi Epsilon Sigma sisters, because of our proximity, are frequent visitors to the nation's capitol. In fact, I believe we may even have some true 'Beltway Banditti' within the Chapter! However, for those who do not get to DC very often, I'll share some of my observations made on a recent trip there.

My spouse Susan and I drove from our home on a Wednesday morning, arriving early in the afternoon. The weather was delightful - just chilly enough for a wool suit to feel comfortable! After checking in at the Holiday Inn - Capitol on the Mall near the Smithsonian, my "brother" (my favorite term for my male persona) proceeded to the National Archives and Records Administration a short walk away to obtain his Researcher ID.

The primary purpose for the trip was to conduct research there for a book he is authoring. Secondary reasons were to allow Susan to pursue her passion for photography and, of course, for Rita and Susan to have a 'ladies night out' to include an opportunity for your author to show off her new "kick-butt" business suit, (see the photo) a Jones of New York creation. It's one of those splendid little numbers with an ankle-length skirt split to slightly below the knee in the front. It's an ensemble that looks properly conservative when a lady is standing or sitting demurely. But slide seductively into a barstool or restaurant booth, cross those legs with just the hint of a flourish, and � oooh, la, la! It rides gracefully over the knee, giving enough of a view to be alluring, yet covering just enough to encourage speculation on how pretty what one can't quite see must be. The diva in me just couldn't be suppressed; the looks I got from the male populace at dinner and at the bar were certainly not "Look at that guy in a dress!" looks.

After a photo shoot on the mall, as dusk fell across the city skyline, Susan and I walked up 7th Avenue to a neat little Irish pub/restaurant in (Rita the ditz forgets the name) in the 500 block. The walk was very pleasant; our mode of attire fit right in to the throngs of people scurrying from their workplaces. The cuisine was excellent, as was the stout (Murphy's, of course). No problems with acceptance were experienced. Wednesdays and weekends they have traditional Irish music and ballads, so I intend to have my "brother" arrange a Wednesday or Saturday trip to allow Rita to go back!

I'd not been in Washington in decades, and I must say that it was better than I expected. The downtown area, if nothing else, was clean and, even after dark, felt acceptably secure if one followed the usual precautions. How much of this can be attributed to the dreadful attacks of September 11th I do not know. I daresay that there are more armed authority figures on the streets of the District today than at any time since the Civil War. Another point of interest to we transgendered folks - the city now runs on a photo ID. Every public building either of us entered seems to require it; even our hotel required photo ID to check in or enter the parking garage with a car! So, ladies, that transgendered ID that is available is a good idea, and you will need the self-confidence to reveal your secret to the attending security personnel. I did not try it this time, but the security people we came in contact with were without exception fully professional, courteous, and diplomatic in their demeanor, so I would anticipate few problems.

One little variance to that statement; I don't know that the FBI should be on your itinerary, though; a pair of agents interrogated Susan somewhat brusquely as she merely photographed the building's exterior, which had caught her eye because of the prominent display of American flags thereon. Perhaps they used it as an excuse to impress an attractive lady with their awesome authority. Or perhaps their acute deductive powers somehow revealed to them the fact that Susan in earlier years was an accomplished belly dancer, and thus might have a connection with the Middle East! At any rate, they somewhat reluctantly relented after a brief discussion. On the other hand, given the whisperings regarding the late J. Edgar, we might be welcomed with open arms at the FBI!

We left the restaurant, taking a very leisurely and altogether pleasant stroll around the Mall, returning to the hotel about 9:00 PM. I was impressed with the large number of people out jogging or, like us, just enjoying the lovely evening view. Susan, still recovering from her back problems of last year, retired to our room, but Rita wanted to party, so I headed for the hotel lounge. There was no entertainment except for what we patrons created, which, after an hour or so, was considerable. I fell in with several delightfully bad companions who proved to be simply wonderful company. They included a woman who worked for the State Department, a computer engineer from Sydney, Australia laying over for a night on his way to Lisbon, Portugal, two local business people, and a mysterious fellow who spent a full two hours plying me with drink and telling me how closely he was collaborating on important domestic security matters with the recently appointed domestic security chief. The phrase "I shouldn't tell you about this, but�" was uttered several times.

It was terribly amusing for me. I played to the hilt the role of the properly awed woman in the presence of greatness. If only this poor dear knew that he was talking with someone whose "brother" had managed projects for the very same man several times prior to this official's recent appointment to Federal service. At any rate, we closed the place and went our separate ways, I being a little tipsier than was probably prudent under the circumstances. Oh well, I considered the risk level acceptable and controllable and the repartee was grand and well worth it. At no time during the evening was it intimated that the group was in the presence of anything other than an attractive, interesting woman.

Sadly, the act of disrobing and preparing for bed early that morning signaled the departure of Rita from our seat of national government. My "brother" took over from there, conducting a very productive day of research the next day while Susan visited the Smithsonian, one of her favorite haunts in the DC area. We left for home knowing that the nation's capital will doubtless see Rita again.

Ask Miss Chatelaine

A simple equation for enjoying Lake Erie Gala

Q: I'm attending Lake Erie Gala for the first time and I'm behind the learning curve. Any advice?

N. Gurl, Erie

Dear New:

Yes sweetie and here it is: You don't need to be a bona fide genius to learn how to enjoy yourself! According to a recent scientific study, the percentage of good times experienced by girls at the gala is inversely proportional to the number of outfits worn over three days multiplied by the average number of broad smiles per minute throughout the day and divided by the total number of quality continuous minutes spent dancing at The Zone or The Village.

Never mind the math. Just smile, make friends, don't forget to boogie and be very proud of who you are!

Q: Any thoughts on passing?

S. Marlin, Daytona Beach

Dear Sterling:

Yes. Stay in the left lane. It's safer.

Q: I mean passing as a woman!

Well now, that's an altogether different question isn't it, dear. Passing is great fun, but no one passes all the time (including some women). If you think about, not passing is what makes crossdressing so exciting. After all, if we passed 24/7, no one would know you were a crossdresser, right? Everyone would think you were a woman! Yes, I imagine that could be fun too, but I think a huge part of the absolute thrill of trying to perfect our outward feminine image would be lost if we were too good at it.

Then again, maybe not.

Q: Which system is the best for losing weight (The Atkins Diet or the Lake Erie Gala System)?

R. Simmons, NYC

Dear Richard:

Miss Chatelaine by far prefers the Lake Erie Gala regimen!

According to fitness experts, changing outfits six times in front of the mirror (before finally choosing one) burns about 75 calories. Shoe shopping at the mall for an hour, by the way, burns 122 calories. Rest assured there will be some girls who lose five pounds this weekend before even leaving their rooms.

Q: Why do the Washington Redskins Hogette's fans dress in women's clothes at games? Also, are they real crossdressers?

M. Shottenheimer, DC

Dear Marty:

You've got to be kidding! Considering how awful the team is this year, I'm surprised there aren't entire sections of men decked out in women's clothes. Are they real crossdressers? Only if they're wearing panties under those dresses. And if you're man enough to ever find out, please let this old girl know.

Miss Chatelaine is a feature of Mirror Images, the newsletter of Erie Sisters Transgender Support Group. Visit them at www.geocities.com/eriesisters, or email your own questions to Miss Chatelaine at eriesisters@yahoo.com.