REBORN
Everything in my life took on new meaning. I realized that I had literally been given a second chance at life. As most of us who face death, I turned my attention to God. It's amazing how comforting that a faith that you take for granted for so many years, can overnite become the one thing that holds you together. I never questioned why, I only asked for help to get through it and the thought that went through my head most often was "God never gives you more than you can bear". My whole family went through a spirtual reawakening which has stayed with us to this day.
My life before had been focused on things that now seemed insignficant. I had put enormous effort into my career, which suddenly became the least important thing in my life. I developed a new wonder at the gift of my child and family, whose loving support were so necessary for my survival.
I also turned my attention to nature, creating a bird sanctuary in my backyard and eventually building a back porch where I have spent many hours contemplating the beauty that is this life on earth.
I will say that there were many physical infirmities that I developed and I will discuss those as well. My main purpose being informative, as there were so many things that occurred that none of my physicians were prepared for. Working in the medical community, I found the information for survivors of treatment to be almost nonexistant. Believe me, I had the best sources in the country in my quest for information. So I will discuss my condition as it developed, in hopes that if there is anyone out there looking for this information, they now have a source to utilize.
Approximately 3 months following my
treatment, I noticed that I was still very tired. At first I assumed
that this was a normal reaction to what I had been through. Then
I developed other symptoms, weight gain although my appetite had not increased
and an array of gastrointestinal symptoms. I went to my physician
who suggested an esophagogastroscopy. This involved essentially looking
at my gastrointestinal tract, from the mouth to the stomach. Biopsies revealed
that I was suffering from gastrointestinal mucosal damage due to the radiation.
This had caused scarring which left me with continued nausea, heartburn,
etc. I learned to live with those symptoms over the years by watching
my diet and always having a supply
of medication on hand. Secondly,
as to the tiredness, they tested my thyroid gland. We as a race,
have very little idea just how much the thyroid affects the rest of our
body. In essence, the radiation had destroyed my thyroid, so
I was put on medication, which I will take for life. I also developed
what I call for lack of another term "shock syndrome". After much
consultation, it was determined that my myelin, the covering to my spinal
column, had also been damaged. So whenever I moved in a certain position,
a shock like feeling would shoot through my legs. I discovered that
there really is nothing that can be done to minimize this process.
These symptoms have stayed with me over the years and have worsened to some degree, I am not sure how much is due to the damage done or just the natural course of ageing or both.
I became, to my radiation oncologist, a textbook case of secondary symptoms from radiation treatment. It became a routine, if something developed, I would discuss it with him before I went to my oncologist or family physician, so that I was prepared with information regarding the most recent development.
Working in the medical field gave me
a decided advantage in determining what many of my problems were.
Having worked for a surgeon for seven years, when I began to develop patches
of skin that first itched, then bled or moles that changed, I realized
there may be a possibility of skin cancer. Sure enough, once again
radiation was the culprit. Over the last few years, I have had approximately
17 basal cell skin cancers removed. I continue to have this problem
and will be working on a solution shortly. I have been advised that
Effudex, a topical chemotherapy cream, will help slow down the process
of the basal cell syndrome. Amazingly enough, it was due to these
skin cancers, that I discovered my latest cancer issue. I was not
quite feeling myself. Thinking that it was due to the amount of surgeries
that I had undergone, I began to search for an alternative method of dealing
with the skin cancer issue. This search led me to a dermatological
oncologist at MD Anderson in Houston, TX. In preparation for my visit,
I spoke to her nurse and she requested my records from my
previous treatment.
Again, God was in my corner. As it turned out, the day that I was to pick up the records, I called. My radiation oncologist happened to be in the office when my call came and he questioned what I needed. He researched what had been gathered and said that there was data missing and I would need to come the next day for my records. I thanked him for his help and dutifully went the next day to pick up my records. Upon my arrival, he approached me with a copy of an article that he had received that morning in his "Oncology" medical journal concerning secondary cancer following treatment for stage one Hodgkin's Disease. I assured him I would read it and put it with my other paperwork.
So excited that I may have another option besides surgery for my skin cancer, I promptly forgot the article and made my way to Houston. The doctor there recommended a topical chemotherapy treatment which she said would greatly reduce the numbers and slow down the entire process. However, due to the size of my treatment area, it would be a very long and involved process. I opted to see a local plastic surgeon for this treatment. I went to see him the day after I returned and he concurred with her opinion. After that visit, I went home and remembered the article that I had been given.
My radiation oncologist's main purpose in giving me this article was a study that had been done on people treated as I was during the time period that I was treated. It indicated that there was a certain percantage of patients who had developed what I will call "basal cell syndrome". However, it also indicated that the majority of patients, 20%, had developed breast cancer. Somehow, the question in my mind had been answered. My oncolcogist and I had discussed this issue over the years and I had my first mammogram at the age of 35, and one yearly after that. I had last visited him in October and it was now April. I had a mammogram at that time which came back negative along with my usual chest x-ray, routine blood work and his exam, all negative.
I did a self breast exam and found a
lump. It was sore, so I tried to tell myself it was
nothing to worry about, however, I
scheduled an appointment with my family physician the next day. So
begins my journey with breast cancer........