What is Anime Expo? How are members of FFML involved? When did it begin? Why did it begin? Hopefully, this section will answer most of those questions. Probably it’ll just confuse the reader even more. Either way, something’s gonna happen. And isn’t that what writing is all about—stuff happening? The answer, of course, is no.

Anime Expo

  Anime Expo is the largest anime convention in the United States. I think. I’m basing this on hearsay, mind you. Statistics can be manipulated to say whatever you want, but for 2000 this con attracted a record number of attendees—about 9,700 people. What this number actually signifies I don’t know. Interpret it as you will. At any rate, it all began in 1991 and, for the past couple years anyway, has been held in Anaheim, CA in mid-summer.

  Anyhow, I’ve rambled on enough about them. The Anime Expo web site can probably tell you more. Heck, I’m no anime con expert. I assume they’ll actually get their facts straight. I have more important things to do.

FFML and AX

  The only FFMLer I know of who has been to more than 2 is Golbez, who said he’d been at AX ’98 in addition to ’99 and this year’s. If any FFMLer knows otherwise, I’d be happy to ignore it and not change this paragraph at all. At any rate, the first major FFML/AX meeting took place at the 1999 con.

  It all began in Dalnet’s #ffml, when several members found that they were attending AX and talked about how cool it might be to try to meet. Pretty soon I and other people not even on the list were dragged into it. Despite hostility from some list members who felt deliberately excluded, planning continued on a separate, temporary list set up at Onelist for the specific purpose of helping us get organized. To make a long story short, the day came, and we all arrived at the Anaheim Convention Center and proceeded to rock the place. Many yaoi purchases, late nights, and episodes of Kodocha later, we all emerged with memories to last an entire plane ride home (if that).

  Of course, no one could resist trying again this year. Unfortunately, Jaana was busy preparing to move to Japan, and Faris had money problems. And a few other people from last year came, just not with us. ^_^ This year, we tried to get even more organized, throwing around ideas such as making FFML t-shirts we could proudly wear. Unfortunately, some people couldn’t make it, and others could only make it for a certain number of days (making it necessary to reconfigure room rates countless times). But at any rate, nine of us were able to make it to Disneyland's Convention Center for the millennial AX.

The Cast
NOTE: Online nicks have been used to protect the guilty. Just thought you’d like to know.
 

XOTH   Master of Black Magic. The author of this report. Protector of poultry everywhere.	DARAN   Everyone’s favorite horny yaoi/resu fiend. Lover of all things androgynous and/or kawaii.	MABIS   Lover of Pokém—err, Pocket Monsters.  She hates Ash (A.K.A. Satoshi) and Pikachu.
POKEY   FFML’s resident Dutchman. A great guy online and IRL. (Why I gave him shades, I don't know. He's just cool that way, so I decided he needed some badass eyewear)	PYXIE   Pokey's GF. Yes, she’s every bit as kawaii as her nick implies.	LOCKE   Co-webmaster of ffml.org. OH HAIL, MIGHTY WEBMASTER!
GOLBEZ   The best Dance Dance Revolution guy out of the whole sorry lot of us.	JOHNMOG   The young’un of the group. As such, subject of countless swirlies and wet willies. Note: No, I’m joking. We’re not that mean. Incidentally, from now on, this will be how I’ll be distinguishing fact (or a version of the facts) from fiction (that is, the totally made-up stuff).	SKY   Often mistaken for Sabin, Zell, or Guile. Often seen trying to extricate his metatarsals from his oral cavity. Often maligned (sometimes unfairly).

  And now...

Acknowledgements

  What on earth possessed me to chronicle these events? Primarily one person: Zack Knowles. Not a member of the list, he nevertheless came with us last year. Then he wrote up a hilarious account on his web site, The Way In. It did take him nearly a whole year, but still. :) While I in no way claim to be anywhere near as funny (or as biting) as he is, I intend to try anyway. Incidentally, the title of this introduction is a direct quote from his report on AX ’99.

  Credit also goes to Locke, who so graciously agreed to let me write up this sordid tale. (And without persuasion by sexual favors, even. XD) The other FFMLers too, since no one has objected to my documentation of events (yet). Thanks also go to the AX people for giving us all this opportunity. Finally, I’d like to thank Disneyland in Anaheim, for making this year’s con so much easier to ridicule. XD

Now onward to:

• DAY 0!
• DAY 1!
• DAY 2!
• DAY 3!
• DAY 4 (& 5)!
• MISCELLANEOUS!

Disclaimer: This account contains a lot that could offend people. Sex. Porn. Drug use. Profanity. Violence. Anime. Crudely drawn pictures. Sentence fragments. A lot of non-white people. People celebrating a culture other than America’s. Disney-bashing aplenty. At any rate, if something offends you, stop reading. If your kids read something that offends you, tell them to go to another web site. If you’re really ticked off by it, then e-mail “cosmic_chicken” at “excite” dot “com” and I’ll listen. Certain characters, events, etc. referred to and depicted in this account come from Japanese animated films and television series and are copyrighted by their respective companies. Whatever the SPJA and Anime Expo have copyrighted belongs to them.

The pages were designed in Netscape Composer at 800 X 600 resolution. If it looks funny to you, sorry.