Hello, my name is Danielle Faye Schumacher. I'm 22 and I'm married, so that should warn you right away that I'm a big freak because people just don't marry that young anymore. (never mind that I know of like 5 off hand but, hey, whatever they say) I live in Arizona. I like it here a lot. Well there's the important stuff. Let's see, I guess now we get to the frivolous things people ask me and then I TRY to send them here and they don't read it anyway. Whatever. Don't know why I bother.

So this is in FAQ format have a freakin' nice day.

A/S/L??
Oh please.

????
I am not encouraging stupidity, that ranks only a hairwidth above "wot is UR nam?" on the annoyance scale. I got ICQ info, I got AN OPENING PARAGRAPH. That just gives that info to anyone, don't be lazy, hit the button frank.

Frank?
See the Glossary.

GLOSSARY??
Yeah, I assume you're too stupid to get it, got a problem? Everyone already does that to you every day anyway, get used to it sparky.

What do you look like
I look like someone you wouldn't mess with easily. I look like you might not notice me if you didn't know I'm there. I look like you can't quite stop looking and you don't even know why. I'm 5'10", solidly built...well on the bottom anyway...and I wear lots of black. Got jaw-length brown hair and bespectacled blue-gray eyes. I wear dangled earrings and choker necklaces. I wear a black bucket hat with patches when I go out into the Arizona sun. I wear low fitting jeans and tight blouses. I'm perky on top, I have hips. There you go. I managed to write how I look without slamming myself. Happy?

You single?
I said I was married! My marriage is fine *eyeroll* my love life is fine, no, I don't need anything else, no I don't want to talk to you about it, no I wouldn't even consider you if things were bad. No no no, I'm perfectly happy. I like my husband very much, he makes me cgi scripts, cleans my kitchen, and drives me around for all my little crises. There's nothing you could give me that I don't have so if you're seeking romance you can get losted.

What do you do?
The Dew. Uhm...oh wait...this is one of those questions that could be more specific but noone gives a crap-on-a-stick. Well, as of this moment I have a job, and want to go to summer school at community college and hopefully get into ASU in the fall.

I work in the library, I just put away books. And help idiots with the computers. Of course to their benefit our computers can go nutty if you look at them wrong. Well, usually if certain staff members look at them wrong. We got some bad computer gnomes who hate our main librarian.

I intend to study foreign languages. I hope to become fluent in at least Japanese, Spanish, and American Sign Language. And learn some Chinese. Of course I HAVE DONE NONE OF THIS YET. So please don't try to talk to me in any of these languages.

What are your hobbies?
I like to read. My favorite author is Robin Mckinley. Some people tell me my webpage kinda has the same tone as hers. I don't know if that's because I write like her because she's my favorite author or I like her because she writes like I might.

Some of my other favorite books/authors are Lemony Snicket, Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, Bridge on the River Kwai by Pierre Boulle, C.S. Lewis, Piers Anothy dropped off this list, Terry Brooks is still on, Anne McCaffery just can't manage to drop off, Douglas Adams may he rest in peace, Andrew Clements dunnno just like the guy.

I like anime, my faovorite show is Serial Experiments Lain. I also like Key the Metal Idol, Rayearth, Evangelion, and Pretty Sammy. Feel like singing "three of these things belong together"? Yeah, so do I sometimes.

I like to write and draw and work on my webpages. I love to cook and bake, and people tell me I'm pretty good at both. I like goofing with recipes until they're something of my own. Except I make meals by just monkeying with stuff in my cupboard and sometimes can't remember what I was in this thing I made that was so great. But hey, that's what the fun is.

How come you're so mean?
That really depends on what you mean by "mean" I am brutally honest, somewhat tactless, harsh, loud, impatient, and somewhat arrogant. Usually someone does something to set me off first (e.g. calling me "Dan-dan" is a quick way to get on my grouchy side.) So I don't really consider myself mean, more hard to approach.

Anything else?
I like ice cream and chinese food a lot. If I'm ever famous and you want my autograph/interview/underpants those would be really good bribes.

What kind of underwear do you wear?
Whatever I feel like. : ) Oh you expected an answer?

You have a pic?
The dental site joke is old, so no, I do not. Maybe when I'm famous.

This famous thing...?
I want to be a comic book artist. That's about all.