Title: Thinking of Thoughts - Hamilton's side
Author: Amy
Email: TheSkulls56745@aol.com
Rating: PG, maybe even G
Category: J/H
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I wish I did own 
Hammie or Jake!
Summary: Hamilton's thoughts
Spoilers: Takes place until Cinderbella.
Dedication: To all you Jahammers & Munchies out there!
Author's Note: I dunno, this might not be as good as my other ones. 
It has no dialogue to it, and I decided to write it on a whim today 
when I was bored. It didn't take too long either... I'm just warnin' 
you! :) Oh, and there could be typos too. I just got a new keyboard. 
Oh yeah, one last thing. This isn't grammatically correct, but its 
posed to be like you're listening to someone's thoughts. "Pardon my 
overrevealing nature."
Feedback: Yes please! And thanks for the sweet comments on my trilogy.


How can I be having feelings about him? I've never questioned my 
sexuality until he showed up. Yet, I still remember my first sight of 
him, on his motorcycle.

He's unlike other guys too. Considerate, for one thing. And small. 
Not that I'm huge or anything, its just that he seems to want to 
cover something up with his baggy shirts and jeans. I haven't seen 
him wear shorts, ever.

I try not to think of him, but then I see him. When he kissed me, I 
knew it was wrong, but oh, it felt so right.

I AM NOT GAY!, I shout over and over in my head. But apparently no 
one hears me. He catches my eye in class and I see the misery and 
confusion centered in them. But it hurts too much so I have to look 
away.

We sometimes hang out together. Quiet and seperate, we are the 
outcasts in the school. So we turn to eachother for companionship. I 
helped him get his bike back too. It was easy, I knew this school 
like the back of my hand.

There was this girl too. Lena, her name was. She seemed to take a 
liking to both of us. Told Jake he reminded her of her old boyfriend. 
It didn't look like Jake was too interested. But I was, at least, I 
thought I was. Too late, I guess. She kissed him. And once again, I 
was subject to humiliation.

The Cotollion is coming up. I don't think I can handle it. Jake asked 
me if I wanted to go with him, as friends. I said yes, what else was 
I supposed to say? Then, along came Lena. She asked me if I wanted go 
go with her. Saying yes again, I thought, why can't I ever say no?

Going Lena, I quickly found out, was physically, mentally, and 
emotionally challenging. She told me to "throw caution to the wind," 
and go after Jake. I don't why I went, it was a gut instinct.

I went, kissed him, and found out that he was actually a she! Jake 
was a girl. After all that turmoil in my mind, I couldn't take it 
anymore. I walked out.

The End


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