BONKERS!: The NEW Adventures
"THE BEST OF BOTH TOONS"
Characters (C) WALT DISNEY STUDIOS
Original Story by SUSHIL RUDRANATH
FOR PRIVATE USE ONLY, NOT ENDORSED BY DISNEY,
DON'T SUE ME, I'M A NICE GUY.
(And I stay true to the characters!)
DISTRIBUTE FREELY SO LONG AS NO CHANGES ARE MADE AND THIS
NOTICE REMAINS INTACT
NOTE: This story starts a week after the last, "Morph's the Pity", and it
marks the next numbing step in a continuity similar to that of Doctor Who:
The New Adventures.
TEASER
EST. 34th PRECINCT (DAY)
PUSH IN on UPPER FLOORS and
FADE IN TO INT. CAPTAIN SKEWER'S OFFICE
OVERLAY TEXT: LAST TIME ON BONKERS: THE NEW ADVENTURES
GRATING slams his fist into the table.
GRATING
After all we went through! Getting tied up,
gagged, run through death traps and flying in
morphing toons--!
PAN to the OFFICE DOORWAY, where DENNIS is standing, huffing for breath.
DENNIS
Remember Speedy, the Friendly Rabbit? That
toon who wants to axe all the new dramatic
cartoons out there? He's busted out of jail
and he's got some other two-tone toons with
him! They're being chased by the Vigilante-
We've seen the Vigilante in daylight! We know
who he is- DARKWING DUCK!
Remove TEXT.
FADE IN on BONKERS' startled expression.
(in background)
GRATING- Who?
BONKERS
Darkwing duck!? No way! No how!
You guys probably got confused.
DENNIS
No, I'm telling you- it WAS him! Purple
cape, oversized ego, it WAS Darkwing Duck!
Favor GRATING.
GRATING
Who is Darkwing Duck?! Will somebody
tell me, already!?
CUT TO SKEWER..
SKEWER
A Toon actor whose show focused on the
exploits of a vigilante' that routinely
saved the city of St. Canard (and several
small planets) from destruction. The
Syndicate members had been the villians in
that show. It only follows that Darkwing
would reprise his old role as well.
MIRANDA smiles.
MIRANDA
I didn't know you watched cartoons, Captain.
SKEWER
I don't.
MIRANDA
But how-?
SKEWER
I have my methods. What's more important
now is that we stop this toon with a grudge
against film noir cartoons, and track down
this vigilante, Darkwing Duck.
BONKERS
Lemme go after Darkwing, boss! Please!
He's my idol- and a fellow actor!
(dramaticially)
We can bond, we can relate! We can do
LUNCH!
SKEWER
Sorry, Bonkers. Much as I'd like to indulge
your fan worship, thus leaving the rest of
us time to do our jobs, unfortunately, you
were the toon responsible for taking down
Speedy the last time. He may relate to you,
since you're both washed up has-beens, anyway.
BONKERS is angry-upset. SKEWER'S remarks have hit a nerve.
BONKERS
Fine! This washed-up actor's a COP now, and I'll
do my JOB, SIR!
SKEWER
Fine, fine. Take Officer Wright with you. Dennis
and Stark will go after Darkwing. Dismissed.
Everyone starts to go OS. SKEWER lowers his sunglasses.
SKEWER
Oh, Sergeant Grating... get back here, please.
GRATING
Whaddya you want!?.... sir.
SKEWER smiles. GRATING winces. For the next line, SKEWER's monotone slips.
SKEWER
Heheh... I KNOW how much you love toons,
Frank. So I'm assigning you to be in charge
of the taskforce dedicated to the apprehension
of Darkwing Duck. You'll have to consult with
many...MANY...And I mean, MANY Toon experts.
Aren't you happy? (slowly, with relish) I am.
GRATING is flustered, but he manages to keep his mouth shut. A slight noise
can be heard coming from him. A weak, desperate noise. A Whine.
SKEWER
I knew you'd just LOVE this assignment. Ciao.
GRATING walks out of the office slowly. BONKERS and MIRANDA are standing
just outside the door, laughing quietly as GRATING stalks to his desk and
sits down. growling.
CUT TO EXT. SPEEDY MANSION .
The MANSION is excessively ornate, but in the 30's wacky style of toon
animation. Almost every part of the structure is a two-tone prop of some
kind, with an attitude. SPEEDY and a gang of Two Tone TOON POLICEMEN (ala
keystone cops) are sauntering out of the door as if they were in a 30's
musical cartoon.
SPEEDY
(Al Capone Voice which he will maintain for rest of episode)
Awright, boyz... just follow the plan, see?
POLICEMEN
(chorus)
Duh... follow the plan... duh... got it, boss!
SPEEDY
Yeah. Just don't mess up. We've gotta corner
da market, see?
POLICEMEN
Corner da market.... duh, ya boss!
SPEEDY
(sotto)
It's only a matter of time now.
FADE IN TO WACKTOONS STUDIO- INT. BUCKY BUZZSAW SOUNDSTAGE
BUCKY BUZZSAW is acting in a scene as DUCK JONES directs. The TOON POLICEMEN
walk in. Their two tone appearance is a striking contrast to the colorful
toons of today. DJ sees the two tones as they try to get on the stage.
DUCK JONES
Hey, you guys! This is a CLOSED set!
Stay off the set!
POLICEMAN 1
We're here to work, Mister Jones.
DUCK JONES
I don't know where you guys have been,
but uh, this studio hasn't hired a
two-tone in over sixty years! Maybe if
you guys got re-inked and got those corny
30's pieslices outta yer eyes-
POLICEMAN 2
We already got a boss... an' he told us
to do a job... so, umm.. we're gonna
do it.
THE TOON POLICEMEN pull out a HUGE TOON BAG and STUFF DUCK JONES in it!
BUCKY BUZZSAW
Hey! That's my BOSS! He signs my CHECKS!
What're you doing to him!?
POLICEMAN 3
You're gonna find out... real soon.
THE POLICEMEN BUCKY with a huge MALLET. They put him into the
bag and walk out.
CUT TO BONKERS OPENER
FADE IN TO INT. CAPTAIN SKEWER'S OFFICE.
MIRANDA and BONKERS are sitting at the ROUND TABLE. SKEWER is fiddling
with the TV in the right wall bookcase as he speaks.
SKEWER
It's been two weeks since we got word
of Speedy's escape. Ever since then,
toon actors and directors have been
vanishing left and right, and we
haven't got a clue. And now this:
SKEWER cues up a video on the TV.
TIGHT on the TV screen.
TOM DRIBBLE
And once again topping the news-
with the loss of another major
toon star, Wackytoons studio has
been put up for sale. If a buyer
isn't found, the studio will
have to shut down. Other studios
have already folded, leading to
a worsening of the toon layoffs
in Hollywo-
SKEWER shuts off the TV.
BONKERS
Wackytoons for SALE?! That place
was a rock!
SKEWER
Speedy's cause is going to get a
big boost from all these laid off
toons.
MIRANDA
But I thought he only stood for
and end to Dramatic Cartoons.
SKEWER
Most of the laid off toons are
of the "slapstick" variety,
and they're already upset. You
two have got to find Speedy and
lock him up before this gets any
bigger.
BONKERS
Let's GO! The sooner we finish this,
the sooner I can help da Sarge look
for Darkwing Duck!
CUT TO INT. RUBBER ROOM.
A large crowd of toons is gathered around the STAGE as BONKERS and MIRANDA
walk in. BONKERS walks up to the JUICE BAR and talks to BULLFINCH.
BONKERS
Bullfinch! What's going on? Why're there so
many toons here?
BULLFINCH
There's gonna be a big announcement! Some
TOON is gonna buy out Wackytoons! He's in
the room, but no one knows who he is.
BONKERS is ecstatic. He turns to MIRANDA.
BONKERS
Wow! A TOON running a Toon studio! That'll
be great! I wonder who the new owner's
gonna be?
MIRANDA
Bonkers, we have to find Speedy. Let's ask
around and see if anyone's seen him.
BONKERS walks up to YAKKO WARNER.
BONKERS
Hey, Yakko! Have you seen Speedy the Friendly
Rabbit around here?
YAKKO
Hey, Bonkers! Have you seen Elmyra around here?
BONKERS visibly shudders.
BONKERS
Nope.
YAKKO
Answered your own question. See ya!
MIRANDA sees YAKKO and stops him.
MIRANDA
Wait! Can I ask you a question?
YAKKO
HELLO, NURSE!
(sweetly)
Can I buy you Lunch? Dinner? A
small island... say, Australia?
MIRANDA
I've never been fond of beachfront
property. I need your help.
YAKKO
Anything for you...
YAKKO is moving closer. MIRANDA is moving backwards.
MIRANDA
You Warners are the only two-tone
toons who are still popular. How'd
you do it?
YAKKO
I'll have you know I'm a THREE TONE!
YAKKO honks his nose.
YAKKO
Well, we stayed in a really big tower
for a LONG time, hid out Elvis for a
while, and then we came out and wreaked
havoc. PLUS, we have colored clothing and
a really lazy Broadcast Standards and
Practices department. Allow me to
demonstrate.
YAKKO is moving TOO close for MIRANDA's comfort. She neatly steps aside
as YAKKO tries to SMOOCH her, only to end up kissing ELMYRA!
ELMYRA
HEY! A cutesy-wootsie, cuddly-wuddly little
puppyhead!
YAKKO looks at the screen in an expression of raw terror.
At the sound of ELMYRA, half the toons run out screaming, with her in
pursuit! BONKERS walks up to MIRANDA ans pulls her to the stage.
MIRANDA
What is it, Bonkers?
BONKERS
I found Speedy! Look!
SPEEDY is seated on stage, wearing a suit and sipping coffee out of a
green MUG. REPORTERS are all around him.
REPORTER
Speedy, is it true that you intend to
buy up the now almost worthless
Wackytoons studio, home to such prior
shows as "The Bucky Buzzsaw Show", "Goof
Troop" and "Darkwing Duck" not to
mention flops like "Flabby Fred and Biceps
Bill" and "He's Bonkers"?
BONKERS
HEY!
MIRANDA holds the irate bobcat back.
SPEEDY
The rumors are quite true. Further, I
intend to hire all laid off COMEDIC
toons and two tones, in order to
create the best studio ever known!
REPORTER
And how will you be paying for this?
And aren't you a fugitive from the law?
SPEEDY
I'm going to pay for it with this.
SPEEDY holds up the green mug and turns it around. It's a "He's Bonkers"
mug.
SPEEDY
Bonkers D. Bobcat is a hot commodity in
Tokyo. Until Halloween, this trinket was
worth nothing. But Mr. Bobcat had been
hoarding them all in his old house, in
a failed attempt to charge admission to
the "Bonkers D. Bobcat Museum". Due to
rather interesting circumstances, his
home and all memorabilia was crushed.
BONKERS
(sotto)
Stupid flying saucer pilot!
SPEEDY
Thus making this the last Bonkers mug
on THE PLANET. Not even the "Hello
Bonkers Boutique" in Tokyo has one.
And I'm selling it to the highest
bidder... in Tokyo, of course. Here,
it's still worth nothing.
BONKERS
You're using MY mug to finance your
evilly...umm... evil plot?!
MIRANDA has pulled out her cuffs and has walked up to SPEEDY.
MIRANDA
I'm afraid you're still a fugitive from
the law. I'm gonna have to take you in.
FENTON CRACKSHELL runs in from OS.
FENTON
Mr. Rabbit? I did it! The Japanese want
the mug for 30 million yen, as a gift
to the new Prime Minister! I've transferred
the advance to the deposit on Wackytoons!
THE MAYOR walks in, surrounded by accountants.
THE MAYOR
Which means he now owns the studio that
could solve this growing toon layoff
problem. The Governor has decided to
pardon Speedy so that he may help
Hollywood in its time of need. Officer
Wright, please put the handcuffs away.
THE MAYOR and SPEEDY SHAKE HANDS, MIRANDA and BONKERS are shocked.
THE MAYOR
Mr. Rabbit, I wish you good luck in your
new business venture.
(to reporters)
Photo-Op!
Lots of pictures are taken.
SPEEDY is walking out with the MAYOR. He passes by BONKERS and leans over.
SPEEDY
The game's just started, Bonkie. We've
at the 2nd hole and I'm 10 under par.
You haven't even got a club.
BONKERS
You're thinking of your old golf
commercials again! Say what you
mean! I hate sports metaphors!
SPEEDY
(darkly)
As you once said, "We're gonna slap-
stick it to 'em!"
SPEEDY laughs as BONKERS and MIRANDA look on, worried.
FADE OUT
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN TO INT. 34th PRECINCT, SECOND FLOOR.
BONKERS and MIRANDA are working on some paperwork, when the whole floor
starts to shake in time with a THUD sound coming from OS.
MIRANDA
Bonkers! I think we're having
another earthquake!
BONKERS
Nope. It's a Goliath.
GOLIATH is walking into shot. His steps are ponderous, and he is obviously
preoccupied. The stares of some of the generic officers mean nothing to him.
GOLIATH
Bonkers... there is a... problem
that requires your immediate
attention.
BONKERS
What's the matter?
GOLIATH turns to face BONKERS. His eyes are glowing.
GOLIATH
My fellow Gargoyles and I
have lost our jobs.
MIRANDA
Gargoyles off the air!? That
can't be! The paper always
shows it with top ratings!
GOLIATH
Perhaps. But Wackytoons studio has
flooded the airwaves with episodes
of classic slapstick cartoon shows.
They have paid to have the dramatic
cartoons taken off the air. It has
caused many of the "dramatic" toons
to become... upset.
MIRANDA
How upset?
CAPTAIN SKEWER walks in from OS.
SKEWER
Upset enough to start a riot. The
Hollywood Bowl now looks like a
cross between a pie eating contest
and the aftermath of Star Trek II.
CUT TO HOLLYWOOD BOWL- NIGHT.
It's a brawl as dozens of TOONS are hurling pies, anvils and food at one
another. The X-Men and others are fighting back in their own unique ways.
CLOSE ON WOLVERINE cutting a PIE to ribbons with his CLAWS.
PAN OVER to BONKERS and MIRANDA, who cautiously enter from the left.
MIRANDA
Where's Goliath?
BONKERS
Dunno. He went up the--
BONKERS does a TAKE as GOLIATH swoops down into the center of the bowl!
GOLIATH ROARS! All activity stops. LITTLE RUNNING GAG splats the side of
his head with a PIE.
GOLIATH wipes the pie off his head and folds his wings around him.
GOLIATH
Friends! We cannot fight one another
like this!
WOLVERINE stalks up.
WOLVERINE
I don't get it, bub! You got the
axe just like the rest of us!
SLAPPY SQUIRREL ambles in.
SLAPPY
Whaddya you care, Wolvie?! You've
got tons of residuals from your
comic books coming! When was the
last time you saw a "Slappy Squirrel"
book, eh?
ALL OTHER TOONS
(chorus)
We're not that old!
SLAPPY
Shaddup already!
BONKERS walks into the center next to GOLIATH.
BONKERS
Look guys... this is crazy!
First the slapstick toons
get made at the dramatic toons,
then the dramatic toons want
at the slapstick toons... I
don't get it! We're all toons!
The other TOONS look at one another curiously. MIRANDA gives BONKERS a
thumbs up.
BONKERS
I mean, I got canceled... but I'm
not bitter!
SLAPPY
Of course not! You've got a cushy
job with the city!
The other TOONS start to get angry at BONKERS. MIRANDA jumps in.
MIRANDA
Wait! What are you "classic" toons
doing here anyway? I thought Wackytoons
hired you all back?
SLAPPY
Puh-Leeze. Speedy's always been an
exaggerator. Why, back in '36 he
once sai--
THE OTHER TOONS
(chorus)
GET ON WITH IT!
SLAPPY
Awright Already! No, he didn't hire us!
He just plays ripped off videotapes of
us on the airwaves!
MIRANDA
Well, at least you know you're not
unpopular compared to the film
noir toons.
The other toons nod slowly. They begin to disperse.
GOLIATH
And we were bought off the air. I
suspect a deeper motive.
MIRANDA
I think we need to go back to the
station to do some more checking.
YAKKO WARNER re-approaches MIRANDA, who begins instinctively backing off.
YAKKO
(sweetly)
I have some information you might
want, *officer*.
MIRANDA
What?
YAKKO
Do I get a get a big kiss if I
tell you?
MIRANDA is ready to deck the toon, when BONKERS walks over to him.
BONKERS
Uhh, Yakko, you'd better quit
it, or I'll drop my anvil on
you.
PULL BACK to reveal an ANVIL over YAKKO.
YAKKO
Humph! Your anvil doesn't scare
me!
BONKERS
Well, what about these?
PULL WAAAAAY BACK to reveal many anvils above that one, all increasing
in size until the top one is about as wide as the HOLLYWOOD BOWL itself.
PUSH IN ON YAKKO.
YAKKO
Uhh... I think I'll tell ya.
Speedy did hire some toons.
But befor eI tell ya, please
do me one little favor!
YAKKO Clings to MIRANDA, who looks hopelessly at BONKERS
MIRANDA
What?
YAKKO
Get rid of HER.
YAKKO steps aside to reveal ELMYRA running to him.
ELMYRA
Ooh! I found da cute little
puppyhead!
BONKERS
I'll get it, buddy. Move aside.
YAKKO moves aside, and ELMYRA steps into his position. BONKERS snaps
his fingers and the ANVILs all come down one after another on her.
MIRANDA winces with each CLANG! of the anvils.
MIRANDA
Now... who did Speedy hire?
CUT TO INT. SKEWER's OFFICE.
SKEWER is walking around the ROUND TABLE. MIRANDA is sitting at the table,
looking at SKEWER and BONKERS, who is having some unfortunate misadventure
outside the window.
SKEWER
Ludwing von Drake, Gyro Gearloose,
The Brain, and Gadget Hackwrench.
MIRANDA
Well, I know Von Drake...
SKEWER
These toons aret the most creative
and intelligent that toontown has ever
produced. That SPEEDY would only hire
them means he's got something up his
sleeve.
MIRANDA
I think Bonkers and I should stake out
Wackytoons Studio, sir.
SKEWER
Agreed. You two managed to diffuse things
at the Hollywood bowl. That looked good
for the press, and what looks good for
them, looks good for me. Keep this up,
and we'll all be happier. You'll have
Grating in charge and I'll be in some
other desk job!
MIRANDA
Yes, Captain.
MIRANDA walks up to the window, opens it, and YANKS BONKERS INSIDE!
MIRANDA
Come on, Bonkers, we have work to
do.
CUT TO EXT. WACKYTOONS BACKLOT STAGE 13- DEEP NIGHT
Something is going on in the backlot. Out of the Windows, red light is
streaming. BONKERS and MIRANDA are creeping up to the window. MIRANDA
tries to look in, but the light is too blinding.
MIRANDA
I think Skewer's sunglasses might
have been useful here, Bonkers.
BONKERS
I can get us a look. Watch.
BONKERS raises his left ear like a TELESCOPING ANTENNA. The EAR wiggles
up along the side of the building and across the roof, where it points
down into a SKYLIGHT. BONKERS' eyesockets produce the eyepieces to a
PERISCOPE set.
BONKERS
Take a look!
MIRANDA stoops down and looks in the periscope.
MIRANDA
Focus.
The EAR moves a bit, and MIRANDA signals an OK.
CUT TO INT. STAGE 13, as seen through PERISCOPE.
GADGET, VON DRAKE, THE BRAIN, and GYRO are stooping over a
table where SPEEDY lies. The RABBIT is hooked up to a maze of equiptment.
BRAIN
I must warn you this is an inadvisable
procedure, Mr. Rabbit. The side effects
could be... displeasing.
SPEEDY
I don't care! You know what you have to
do!
The TOONS look at one another. GYRO timidly walks up to a large switch and
throws it! Many LIGHTS and bells go off. Amid the hubub, the toons speak.
VON DRAKE
NucleoPozitronz positif!
GADGET
Lactoalic Spigglepops popping!
GYRO
Primary de-inking apparatus
functioning within normal
parameters!
BRAIN
THE GREEN LIGHT IS ON!
The other TOONS look at BRAIN.
BRAIN
Sorry. Oh! The
final stage has initiated!
DRAMATIC MUSIC as we see a TUBE running from SPEEDY's ARM to a vat.
PUSH IN ON THE TUBE to show first color, then black and grey draining into
the vat. BRAIN locks it off, and GYRO slaps a sticker on it that reads:
"TOON PAINT" The RED LIGHT intensifies. We see a CLEAR hand flinch.
Suddenly, there is an EXPLOSION! All the toons are thrown out of the studio!
MIRANDA is knocked out! BONKERS is standing aghast, staring at the center
of the scene!
PUSH IN past some smoke and fog to reveal... THE DISCONTINUATOR!
THE DISCONTINUATOR is a completely clear toon. All that is visible of him
are glowing green lines, that trace out a half-cybernetic, half rabbit toon.
He speaks in a deep, echoing voice.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
I am THE DISCONTINUATOR.
Resistance is futile.
You will be discontinued.
BONKERS
Oh no! Speedy's become a
network programming director!
FADE OUT
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN
THE DISCONTINUATOR watches as BONKERS drags MIRANDA off screen. He turns
to GYRO GEARLOOSE and touches him on the shoulder. GYRO's color is drained
from him, and he POOFS into nothingness. DISCONTINUATOR burps and a small
bit of color comes to him. He looks at GADGET, VON DRAKE and THE BRAIN,
all of whom are scrambling away.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
The abilities, knowledge and slapstick
power of Gyro Gearloose have been added
to my own. Resistance is futile. You
will be discontinued.
He touches the toons- they drain and dissappear.
CUT TO INT. SQUAD CAR 13. BONKERS is driving. MIRANDA is coming to in her
seat.
MIRANDA
Owww... Bonkers, what happened?
BONKERS
Speedy's done something to himself!
He's gone all clear and evil!
CUT TO INT. SKEWER's OFFICE - TIGHT ON SKEWER
SKEWER
But WHY? That's what I want to know.
Reports have him heading from a
deserted Wackytoons Studio. Bonkers,
you and Miranda will have to stop
him by any means neccessary. If he
can be stopped.
CUT TO DISNEY STUDIOS-DAWN. AERIAL SHOT OF A POLICE BLOCKADE.
THE DISCONTINUATOR is walking towards the blockade, unconcerned. He has
much more color to him.
MIRANDA
(through bullhorn)
SPEEDY! Hold it, or we'll FIRE!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
(sounding like Goofy)
Gawrsh. Guess I give up... YA-HOO-HOO-IE!
THE DISCONTINUATOR trips as if GOOFY, and falls down a MANHOLE! He reappears
BEHIND the blockade!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
(normal)
Fools. I am the THE DISCONTINUATOR.
I have absorbed many toons. My power
grows with each new assimilation. Soon
I will have enough power to be the
greatest slapstick toon in existence!
I will now discontinue some of the
funniest toons in history!
PUSH IN ON THE DISCONTINUATOR. RACK FADE to show MICKEY, DONALD and PLUTO
armed with TOON CANNONS ready to fire on THE DISCONTINUATOR. RACK FADE
back to THE DISCONTINUATOR, who morphs slightly to form DUMBO EARS. He
flies over the cannon, lands behind the three toons, and touches them. They
drain and pop out. THE DISCONTINUATOR is even more colorful now. The ears
revert to normal.
BONKERS
He discontinued the mouse! This can't be!
MIRANDA
Open fire!
The POLICE fire on THE DISCONTINUATOR. He shrugs off the bullets, launching
some anvils from his hands which trash some SQUAD CARS, and heads for
BONKERS! MIRANDA gets in between them!
MIRANDA
You're not going to discontinue my
partner!
THE DISCONTINUATOR touches MIRANDA, but nothing happens. He turns and walks
away a bit before turning back to BONKERS.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
(in FAWN DEER's voice)
Come on, Bonkers. Join us. Together
we can make a difference. We can make
it better for toons in this town again.
BONKERS is surprised.
BONKERS
Fawn?
THE DISCONTINUATOR
(Fawn's voice)
Please, Bonkers. You're the only
one who can help us now.
BONKERS' expression softens.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
Help us with our cause-
BONKERS realizes that it is THE DISCONTINUATOR, not Fawn, speaking.
He gets mad.
BONKERS
You discontinued FAWN?! Why, you-
BONKERS leaps towards THE DISCONTINUATOR! From OS, SKEWER JUMPS in the way
and deflects him! THE DISCONTINUATOR gets away. BONKERS looks up into
SKEWER'S mirrored shades.
BONKERS
(weakly)
He's got Fawn!
PULL BACK to reveal the shattered POLICE BLOCKADE. Cars are smoking,
the TOON CANNONS are lying on the ground, MIRANDA is standing next to
SKEWER, who is squatting down next to the upset BONKERS.
SKEWER
(trying to snap BONKERS out of it)
OFFICER! He'll have more than that
if we don't get a move on! He's making
a straight line for the RUBBER ROOM!
BONKERS
Then that's where we're gonna stop him!
CUT TO EXT. RUBBER ROOM.
There is an EXPLOSION as a plume of smoke comes rushing out from the doors
as the SQUAD CAR pulls up.
CUT TO INT. RUBBER ROOM.
THE DISCONTINUATOR is standing in the shattered doorway. The BULLY BOYS have
stopped playing thier music, and dozens of toons are staring at him. ELMYRA
walks up to him, wearing some bandages on her head.
ELMYRA
Oh look! A clear cuddly wuddly bunnyhead!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
Fool! I am THE-
ELMYRA runs up and squishes THE DISCONTINUATOR. her color is draining, but
it takes a while, and THE DISCONTINUATOR is squirming in pain until she
pops out. The other toons see this and start to run away, until
THE DISCONTINUATOR fires a ray from his hand that causes them to FLOAT
in the air!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
(in GYRO GEARLOOSE' s voice)
You all remember my Furniture Mover
ray, right? Well this was the long-awaited
furniture floatation ray!
BONKERS, SKEWER and MIRANDA walk in the door as THE DISCONTINUATOR floats
the last toon over to him and pops it out of existence. He is fully colored
as half Speedy/half metallic robot, and now he begins to GROW.
SKEWER
This could be bad.
BONKERS
He's mine!
BONKERS is rushing towards THE DISCONTINUATOR! SKEWER throws a small ANVIL
from the floor at him and knocks him down while THE DISCONTINUATOR escapes.
BONKERS huffs over to SKEWER.
BONKERS
You let him go AGAIN!
SKEWER
Would you rather be stuck in
his gut?
BONKERS
I have to save FAWN!
MIRANDA
He absorbs toons by touch!
You would've popped out just
like the others!
BONKERS
So how're we supposed to stop
this guy? All the toon geniuses
are IN HIM!
SKEWER
There's one major target
left- Warner Brothers Studio.
We're going to have to get
over there and finish him off.
BONKERS
But HOW!?
CUT TO EXT. WARNER BROS. STUDIO- MIDMORNING
There are tanks and helicopters surrounding the WATER TOWER. SKEWER and
THADDEUS PLOTZ and standing in front of the lead tank. The WARNER BROS & DOT
are peeking out of the WB Logo on the tower. There is quite a wind blowing.
PUSH IN on SKEWER.
SKEWER
The Discontinuator's going
to be here any minute.
PLOTZ
Let's just hope he doesn't
damage my studio-- or my toons.
With Mickey out of the way, our
profits could go through the
roof!
MIRANDA walks on shot.
MIRANDA
Captain, are you sure this is
going to work?
SKEWER
Of course not. It's just our
last ditch effort. Most likely
it's going to fail.
MIRANDA looks at SKEWER, puzzled.
MIRANDA
Do you care at all about officer
morale?
SKEWER
I'm slowly going insane. I can
feel it. What's a little honesty
now? Where's Bonkers?
MIRANDA
He was really upset about Fawn Deer.
He's in the Squad Car.
A LOUD AIRPLANE NOISE can be heard. SKEWER looks up.
SKEWER
Oh, really?
BONKERS has flown up to the WATER TOWER in a PROP AIRPLANE! He goes in the
TOWER as THE DISCONTINUATOR approaches the TANKS!
SKEWER
Ready? FIRE!
The TANKS FIRE! The explosions do NOTHING to THE DISCONTINUATOR!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
I don't have time for your
games. My power is almost
complete. Let me show you
the future of cartoons!
(in a RADIO announcer voice)
And now, a FUTURE SHOCK!
All the way from CYBERTRON 2006...
Meet... GALVATRON!
The DISCONTINUATOR reshapes himself to look like GALVATRON, but his color
scheme remains constant. He TRANSFORMS into CANNON MODE and FIRES at the
TANKS!
SKEWER et al. get out of the way as the TANKS EXPLODE! One of them HITS the
WATER TOWER!
PAN UP to the WATER TOWER, which is starting to LEAN OVER!
YAKKO
Come on, sibs! WE have to get outta
here!
WAKKO
What's going on? It feels like the
disco era all over again!
DOT
Bonkers, you said that mean old
nasty wasn't here yet!
BONKERS
So I miscalculated a little, ok?
ZIP PAN to PLOTZ.
PLOTZ
Captain Skewer, you told me your
officers could handle the situation!
My Studio's being ruined!
MIRANDA steps in.
MIRANDA
We'll get the situation under control-
The WATER TOWER Falls! MIRANDA and the others are stuck under it, fenced
in by some of the girders.
PLOTZ
It looks like the situation has US
under control, officer!
BONKERS, YAKKO, WAKKO and DOT begin hurling ANVILS, PIES. DESKS, WARSHIPS
and STALE CHEESE at THE DISCONTINUATOR, but he just heads for TERMITE
TERRACE, where he PLUCKS BUGS BUNNY and others from the bulding, GROWING with
each TOUCH!
WAKKO
Ah know whut to do... I'll
stop him... with water!
BONKERS
Water?
WAKKO
He's half robot! Ah'll bet
he's not waterproof!
Before BONKERS can protest, WAKKO gets in a tiny TOON PLANE and flies over
20 foot tall DISCONTINUATOR. He opens up a BUCKET and drops water on him.
TIGHT ON BONKERS
BONKERS
(yelling)
But he's only DRAWN that way!
PULL BACK and FAVOR THE DISCONTINUATOR.
THE DISCONTINUATOR is unaffected. He reaches up for the plane, and ZOTs
WAKKO! The TOON plane crashes to the ground. THE DISCONTINUATOR grows
another 10 FEET!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
That was good. You Warners have
a lot of energy. I think I'll
have a cute snack next.
DOT is standing on a rooftop, playing the helpless damsel. She has an ICBM
behind her back.
DOT
You wouldn't hurt someone
as cute as me!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
Oh yes I would.
Before DOT can react, THE DISCONTINUATOR grabs her! As she POPS out, we hear:
DOT
That's no way to treat a lady!
BONKERS and YAKKO watch in horror as THE DISCONTINUATOR grows another 10 feet!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
I should assimilate you two,
but I have enough power now.
Now I will DESTROY those who
have hurt us, ONCE AND FOR ALL!
(in Fawn Deer's Voice)
It'll work out just fine, Bonkers.
Trust me. All slapstick toons
will finally regain the respect we
deserve.
As THE DISCONTINUATOR walks off, BONKERS and YAKKO get the officers out from
under the WATER TOWER.
MIRANDA
Bonkers, are you OK?
BONKERS
Miranda, I dunno how we're
gonna stop this guy! He's
big, and mean, and 40 feet
high!
YAKKO
Hey, Bobcat! Snap out of it!
I've got Wakko's GAG BAG!
A toon light bulb pops in over BONKERS' head!
BONKERS
Does it have an ACME Super-Duper
Deluxe Maildude?
YAKKO
Of course.
YAKKO produces the GAG BAG and shakes it upside down. A BOWLING BALL, TOILET
BOWL, SPACE SHUTTLE, SAFE, ANVIL, MONOLITH and MAILMAN pop out. BONKERS
writes something on the mailman's pad.
BONKERS
Go! Get this here NOW!
The MAILMAN runs OS. A second later, he comes back. There is now a giant
bobcat foot taking up half the screen. BONKERS signs the mailman's pad and
turns towards the foot.
MIRANDA (VO)
Not that thing again!
CUT TO a view of BONKERS looking tiny in front of two HUGE BOBCAT FEET.
PULL BACK to reveal the 40-foot BONKERS from "Tokyo Bonkers", overshadowing
the devastated Warner Bros. Lot.
PLOTZ
What're they going to do with
THAT?
YAKKO
Smash a Discontinuator, save
some toons, grab a pizza and
trash the rest of the Warner
Lot.
PLOTZ
I was afraid he was going to
say that.
BONKERS and YAKKO climb into the GIANT BONKERS.
CUT TO INT. GIANT BONKERS- it is hollow.
BONKERS
Forgot. This thing didn't
presactly come with controls.
YAKKO
(pulls from GAG BAG)
One instant control room, coming
up!
A POP! and the interior becomes a very cheesy Star Trek Bridge ripoff.
CUT TO EXT. WARNER STUDIOS- Almost HIGH NOON. The GIANT BONKERS is walking
off into the distance.
CUT TO INT. HOLLYWOOD BOWL- HIGH NOON
The DRAMATIC toons are battling THE DISCONTINUATOR. They are no match for
him, and one by one, they are being knocked out.
THE DISCONTINUATOR refuses to assimilate them- he just pins them under very
heavy ANVILS.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
I can't get rid of you for good, but
I can perpetually inconvenience you!
You'll never get out from under my
ANVILS of DOOM!
WOLVERINE
Anvils of Doom? You're outta it, buddy!
(extends his claws just as a giant pie
SPLATS him!)
THE DISCONTINUATOR
My slapstick too sticky for you?
A Rumbling can be heard as the GIANT BONKERS climbs over the side of the
Hollywood Bowl and faces off with THE DISCONTINUATOR.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
Ahh... Bonkers. You have decided to
help me in my que-
THE DISCONTINUATOR reels as "BONKERS" hurls a GIANT PIE at thim.
BONKERS
(from inside)
You want slapstick? You got it!
We're not gonna let you ruin
cartoons for everybody!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
Fool! What about your old job?
We don't get any respect anymore!
Toons like you and the ones I've
captured-- we're condemned to an
eternity of reruns and videotape
collections- until we fade away
for good. I'll bring us all back!
BONKERS
You coulda when you bought Wackytoons,
but instead you decided to splat all
the other toons you just didn't like!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
They're abominations!
BONKERS
Such angst-- awful... dramatic of you.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
They should be relegated to the comic
books from which they came-- or put
there instead of taking time away from
us! Away from the masters of the art!
If it wasn't for US, Disney, Warners and
the rest wouldn't have had the CASH to
kick us out! I want back in! And if that
means putting the competition out of
business--
THE DISCONTINUATOR pulls out a flagon of GUMMI BERRY JUICE. He drinks it
and begins to BOUNCE all over the ANVILS, driving them into the ground!
He then uses a GIZMODUCK GIZMO to lay concrete all over the ground, which
then hardens.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
They'll never dig their way out of that!
The GIANT BONKERS slams his foot into the CONCRETE, which SHATTERS! But his
foot is STUCK! THE DISCONTINUATOR seizes the moment!
CUT TO INT. GIANT BONKERS. RED ALERT lights are on in the "BRIDGE", and
BONKERS is in the captain's chair watching as YAKKO is fiddling with the
main viewer.
YAKKO
Projectile coming in at 1:00!
BONKERS
Whew. It's only 12:15. Lucky!
YAKKO
Yeah, ain't it-
PUSH IN ON MAIN VIEWER. A GIANT ANVIL is FLYING at them!
BONKERS
(weakly)
I think this guy forgot about
daylight savings time!
THE GIANT BONKERS is FALLING BACKWARDS! He SLAMS into the BLEACHERS!
THE DISCONTINUATOR
I'll just finish you traitors off
before I re-seal that concrete!
CUT TO INT. GIANT BONKERS. The "Bridge" is smashed. YAKKO AND BONKERS are
huddled over a small screen with a DIAGNOSTIC of THE DISCONTINUATOR.
YAKKO
I think I know what we
have to do.. what if we
climbed into his ear?
BONKERS
Nope, we'd get zotted.
GOT IT! LOOK! He got
GIZMODUCK! See?
YAKKO
So What? This guy gets
too much iron in his diet?
BONKERS
No! Think! If we say the
magic words, the suit'll come
out and maybe damage the
Discontinuator!
YAKKO
A chance to wear the Gizmosuit?
I wanna say it!
BONKERS
No, I want to!
YAKKO
Me!
BONKERS
Me!
YAKKO and BONKERS start to squabble, and then they turn to see THE
DISCONTINUATOR getting ready to ram them with a MALLET!
YAKKO and BONKERS
(in shock)
BLATHERING BLATHERSKYTE!
CUT TO EXT. THE DISCONTINUATOR. He feels strange. He rubs his head, and
the GIZMOSUIT comes BLASTING out of it! As it streaks towards the giant
BONKERS, COLOR is spewing out of THE DISCONTINUATOR's head! The rainbow
of colors is shooting into the ATMOSPHERE! THE DISCONTINUATOR shrinks to
normal size- but he is totally clear. He's writhing on the ground.
YAKKO and BONKERS come scrambling out of the GIANT BONKERS, each is wearing
part of the GIZMOSUIT in really odd positions. They scramble over to THE
DISCONTINUATOR, who is rather weak.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
Why'd you stop me?
BONKERS
You were doing a bad thing.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
But it would have been
glorious, we would've
been stars again.
THE DISCONTINUATOR starts to fade away.
THE DISCONTINUATOR
See? Speedy's already
being forgotten, thanks
to these new-fangled
Gargoyles and such.
Someday, you'll fade out
the same way. So much for
friendly pie-throwing
rabbits. They want mutants,
masked men and monsters..
heheh... monsters...
THE DISCONTINUATOR fades out totally. BONKERS is crestfallen.
YAKKO
Gee, for a slapstick
genius, he sure went out
sappy.
CUT TO INT. SKEWER's OFFICE. MIRANDA, BONKERS, and YAKKO are standing in
front of SKEWER.
BONKERS
Speedy's... gone, Captain.
SKEWER
Good job, officer. We've got
construction teams digging out
the toons the Discontinuator
buried.
BONKERS
Yeah, but where are the toons
he grabbed?
RACK FADE to the WINDOW. The RAINBOW OF COLORS is FLYING at the window!
RACK FADE to SKEWER, who turns just as TONS of toons BLAST through the
window! FAWN DEER lands in BONKERS' arms.
BONKERS
FAWN!
SKEWER
Eeg... too... many... toons.
SKEWER sits down as chaos reigns supreme. YAKKO yakes this opportunity to
LEAP in MIRANDA's ARMS!
CUT TO EXT. 34th PRECINCT. (ANGLED SHOT- WIDE)
YAKKO -VO
(SMOOCHING NOISE)
MIRANDA (VO)
WHY, YOU-
(SFX: PUNCHING NOISE!)
YAKKO WARNER comes flying out the second story window.
TRACK YAKKO as he flies down, CRASHING into SGT. GRATING, DENNIS and STARK,
who have been walking up the stairs holding DARKWING DUCK! DARKWING escapes!
DARKWING
Thanks, Yakko!
DARKWING dissappears in a puff of smoke. GRATING grabs YAKKO by the throat!
GRATING
Do you know how long it took us
to track that guy down, TOON!?
YAKKO
(dazedly)
Whatta kiss.
CUT TO INT. BONKERS LIVINGROOM.
BONKERS is RUMMAGING through very old boxes. He pulls out a CRUMBLING
poster with SPEEDY the FRIENDLY RABBIT on it. He hangs it up on a wall.
BONKERS
(sotto)
I won't forget ya, Speedy.
CUT TO INT. HOLLYWOOD BOWL. The place is torn up where bulldozers had dug
out the buried toons. PUSH IN on a patch of ground. THE DISCONTINUATOR can
be seen fading in very dimly.
IRIS OUT.
THE END