My Prayer
I slowly walked into my empty room, kneeled in front my bed and closed my eyes, and clasped my hands together and try to concentrate for another prayer,
Then I softly whispered "In the name of the lord Jesus I pray"
This is what I said in my prayer:
Please lord! Hear me when I pray
Answer me when I call to you
Help me when I'm in need,
Please lord! Answer me lord! Answer me!
Lord, I goto church every week to keep Sabbath, I help out and do some church work when I can,
I attend most of the fellowships, but why aren't you filling me with your Holy Spirit? Why aren't you giving me joy in my prayer?
Why aren't you letting me feel your power when I pray?
What have I done wrong? I don't understand?
What have I done wrong?
Tell me lord! Tell me!
Haven't I done all you have said? Haven't I done everything according to the bible!
I don't understand?
God didn't speak a word,
Instead he opened my eyes and I saw a person in a room, kneeling in front of a bed, praying, but he is filled with the Holy Spirit,
Tears are running from his eyes, he seems sorrowful, yet there is a hint of joy within him,
Then I asked God, "why is he crying?"
I don't understand, shouldn't he be happy? He has the Holy Spirit and filled with your love and power,
I asked God "I don't understand? I go to church every week, done everything you have commanded, yet I cant get the fulfilment of the Holy Spirit, why Lord? Why?"
God answered me, "that person is asking me to forgive the sins that he has committed years ago,
I have already forgiven him when I gave him the Holy Spirit,
Yet he continues to ask me to forgive his sins, he dare not to lift his head when he prays because he thinks he is not worthy to look at me,
He prays with tears running from his cheeks, and just keeps asking me to forgive him and change him, so he can become a better person,
He prays with tears because he thinks he is not worthy of receiving the Holy Spirit,
He prays with tears because he thinks he is not worthy of receiving my Love,
He prays with tears because he thinks he is not worthy of going to the heavenly kingdom!"
"Do you now see why he is filled with the Holy Spirit?"
I turned my face toward the ground and said
"I am weak, Lord"
"What can I do to be like that brother?"
"How can I be as humble as he?" then tears started to run from my eyes,
"Why am I so weak Lord? Why am I so proud? When will I grow in my spirituality?"
"Help me Lord! Help me!"
"Help me to change to become a better person! I thought I know your words, but I only know them as laws to obey."
"Teach me your way, Lord! Teach me your way! Teach me how to Love Lord! Teach me! Teach me to become a better person!"
"Teach me to become your servant which is to become the servant of all"
God said in a gentle voice,
"My dear child, look at you now, who said you were proud? Who said you was weak? All you needed was a little reminder, look at you now, once again you are my sheep and I am your shepherd, may you never wander away from me again, my beloved child!"
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