Sonic Talk Christmas Special
By Joshua
(Open on the set, now fully decorated. Lara-Le is pouring out eggnog into cups, Jon is sitting behind his keyboard, and Josh is sitting in front of the fireplace with Amy Rose, who's dressed in a cute little Christmas outfit.)
Josh: Hello and welcome to the Christmas edition of "Sonic Talk". Let's welcome back surprise guest Amy Rose!
Amy: I couldn't leave YOU alone on Christmas, now, could I?
Josh: I guess not, beautiful. We'll get to presents in a moment, but first, this week's guest--Knuckles the Echidna!
(Big the Cat enters, waving at the silent crowd.)
Big: Hi.
Josh: Food is over there.
Big: Thanks. Come on, Froggy.
Josh: Okay, Knuckles the Echidna!
(Wynmacher enters, surprised by cheers.)
Wyn: Oh, well, uh, hello everyone. Where's Lara?
Lara: Over here, snookums!
Josh: (Sigh) What do I have to do to get Knuckles in here?
Jon: You could always try kissing his mother again.
Knux: (Flinging himself frantically into the room, somewhat out of breath) I'm here, I'm here!
Josh: Nice to have you on the show. Finally.
Knux: No problem.
(Lara-Le walks by handing everyone eggnog.)
Lara: Not too much for you, Josh, you know what happened at the Cancellation party.
Amy: What happened?
Jon: Constable Remington arrested Josh for running down the street with a punch bowl on his head.
Amy: He got arrested for THAT?
Jon: Well, the punch bowl was the only thing he was wearing at the time.
Josh: Please don't bring that up, Jon.
Amy: Don't worry, Josh, I've seen "People".
Josh: Anyway, back to the interview, how're things for you since the cancellation?
Knux: Pretty good, really. I'm still doing backups in the main Sonic series, and according to the bigwigs, once the hype wears off from the Dreamcast release I'll be getting my own series back.
Josh: Well, that's great! Any idea when?
Knux: No word yet, but probably next year sometime.
Josh: Any call on more T.V. appearances?
Knux: No, but I do have an independent movie to be released sometime next year as well. It's from Superb! Entertainment, the same guys who made MARCP. Most of the voices are already cast, and it should start production any day now.
Josh: Exciting stuff my man. Something else a bit of people ask is: When are you and Julie-Su going to "make it official"?
Knux: That's kinda personal, but we're doing just fine as boyfriend and girlfriend right now.
Josh: Wonderful. A lot of people don't think you two make such a good couple.
Knux: Well I have doubts myself sometimes, but like my father says, "All good relationships require work."
Josh: True, very true, but you two are meant to be together, if you ask my opinion.
Knux: I didn't, but we'll find out if you're right in the future.
Josh: Any other girls catching your eye?
Knux: Sera's cute, but moody; Sonia's kinda pretty, but a real flirt. I kinda had a crush on Tikal for a while there, but she's dead after all.
Josh: She's cute, though.
Knux: Yeah, but the dead thing kinda turns a guy off real fast.
Josh: Too true. Well, who's ready for presents?
Jon: Open mine first! (Hands Josh a present, Josh opens it.
Josh: A twelve-pack of Dingo beer?
Jon: No, I just used the box.
Josh: Oh, it's a Duke Nukem action-figure...opened...and the right arm is broken.
Jon: I got it at a Goodwill. You like Duke Nukem, right?
Josh: I'll...um....treasure it.
Jon: Hey, if you want better presents, give me a raise.
Josh: Well, I got you this.
Jon: Oh, a new pair of brushes, thanks.
Lara: Here, Josh, unwrap mine next. (Hands Josh an envelope.)
Josh: Hey! It's a restraining order against Nack the Weasel!
Lara: Mr. A was having a sale of those and I thought of you.
Josh: (Hugs her). Thank you. I baked you a fruitcake.
Big: That was Lara's? Whoops.
Lara: Don't worry about it, I'm om a low-carb diet anyway.
Amy: I got you something too, Josh. (Grins).
Josh: Really? What is it?
Amy: Mistletoe! (Points up to Fate, holding a sprig of mistletoe on a scaffold.)
Josh: Thanks, Amy! That'll come in handy if I ever want to kiss somebody.
Jon: Josh, who is in this studio that you'd like to kiss right now?
Josh: (Looks up at mistletoe, then back at Amy). Oh. Yeah. Right. DUH! (He kisses Amy.)
Amy: Hope you don't mind, but I'm getting Sonic the same thing. (Winks).
Josh: Oh, Fate, I got you something too!
Fate: Yeah?
Josh: I got you a health plan!
Fate: That's nice, Josh, but I'm immortal.
Josh: (Thinks) I guess you couldn't make much use of that, huh?
Jon: Should've gone for the aftershave.
Josh: Well, that's all the time we have for this special Christmas edition of "Sonic Talk". Join us after the holiday when our guest will be handyman and Bill Cosby lookalike, Nate Morgan! Have a Merry Christmas Sonicfans!
Editor's Notes:
1. How many times CAN the same person reappear on the show, anyway? (Amy)
2. The thing about Knuckles getting his own series back after the Dreamcast hype sounds like a dream come true, but I have NEVER heard ANYTHING about that anywhere else before...I think it's probably just a rumour. Let's put it this way: Ken Penders has said nothing about it yet.
3. "All good relationships require work". Well, yes, but if it was LOCKE that said that...let's just say that he's not Lara-Le's "snookums" anymore...
4. I have no idea what MARCP stands for...
5. And last but not least--not that I have an evil sense of humour or anything, but for some reason, when Jon said, "Is there anyone in this studio you want to kiss right now, Josh?" I suddenly got this image of him kissing JON...or Knuckles...or Big...or Fate...not because I think Josh is gay or anything, no. It would just be much funnier to have him do something completely DIFFERENT from the obvious choice...
Anyway, that's Chaos Theory's Worthless 2 Cents.
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tourists have partied at the Sonic Talk Christmas Special since December 14, 1999. Of course, they were all killed by falling fruitcake.