"A Brief Interview with Heavy and Bomb"
By Joshua
Josh: Good evening, Sonicfans! Welcome to another great live broadcast from sunny Echidnaopolis, home of Guardians, Legionnaires, and the best chili-dogs this side of Knothole! Tonight's guest was SUPPOSED to be Heavy and Bomb but I suppose you're not them, right?
Tom: Uh, no, I'm Congressman Tom Delay, Republican Majority Whip, and I suppose you're not Larry King?
Josh: Um, no.
Tom: Looks like I got the wrong address then.
Josh: Looks like.
Jon: Hey, where's that tax cut you keep talking about?
Josh: Where are Heavy and Bomb?
Tom: The robots? Oh, they're in the Green Room; were they your first guests?
Josh: They're the ONLY guests.
Tom: Oh, well, sorry then.
Josh: Uh, no problem. Soooo.......what do you think about Sonic?
Tom: Uh, it's a good game, I guess. I've never tried it, but my son used to love it. Sure did move fast, though.
Josh: Yep, he is the fastest thing alive.
Tom: You know what else is fast? The rate at which our liberal President wants to raise your taxes! Are you aware that the average working American works two days out of every work week just to pay their taxes? On the Republican agenda is a plan to lower income taxes across the board! We need to--
Josh: Oh, I'm sorry, that's all the time we have for you, Senator.
Tom: But I'm a Congressman.
Josh: I couldn't give a rat's rear end, your time's up.
Tom: (Leaving) Up yours, liberal!
Josh: I heard that! Anyway, here's tonight's REAL guests, Heavy and Bomb!
(The pair enters, accompanied by the Features playing "TNT")
Josh: Well, Heavy, Bomb, thanks for coming out. How are things in Knothole?
Bomb: Nice, really is.
Heavy: Not to say we don't miss the Floating Island.
Josh: Yeah, nice place. So, you like being members of His Majesty's Secret Service?
Heavy: Oh, yeah, the job has great benefits: action, adventure, prestige, mystery...
Bomb: Hershey...
Josh: (Laughing) I guess that's definitely an upside.
Bomb: Yeah. But she and Geoff got it going.
Josh: Really?
Heavy: Yep, those two got it made.
Josh: One thing I've been wondering since "Endgame" is: how did you two maintain your free will, even though all the Robians were re-enslaved when Eggman took over?
Bomb: Well, we broke free on our own, due to the Power Gems inside ourselves, WITHOUT the aid of the Ultimate Annihilator, so therefore Robo-Robotnik has no hold over us.
Josh: Well, that's good. You're going to be regulars now, huh?
Heavy: Lots more face-time, now that the Secret Service is back in action.
Josh: Well, I certainly can't wait for upcoming issues. Thanks for doing the show, guys, and for not exploding all over my studio.
Bomb: I could do that now if you'd like...
Josh: NO! I mean, no, really, that's quite all right. Join us next time when I'll be interviewing Antoine DeCoolette! See you then, Sonicfans!
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curious tourists have stopped by to have a nice chat with Heavy and Bomb since November 13, 1999. Of course, they were all blown to Kingdom Come.
(Well, what did ya THINK I was gonna say...?)