"A Brief Interview with Lady Lara-Le"
With Special Return Guest Amy Rose
By Joshua
(The show begins with the stage dark. A spotlight opens on Josh, who is sitting behind a large Casio keyboard. He begins playing the opening to "Love of My Life" by Michael W. Smith.)
Josh: This one goes out to my girl Amy Rose.
(Verse One)
When I first saw your face,
I didn't know what to do,
I realised there was a hole in my heart
In the spiky shape of you.
I had a feeling you'd come back someday--
the sketches on my index cards
probably stole your heart away.
And it's a hard thing to believe
That you could mean so much to me.
Sure you're cute and all, but
We're different species.
(Chorus)
But you're the love of my life,
and I'm so glad I found you.
You are the love of my life,
let me put my arms around you.
I guess this is how it feels,
when you finally find something real.
You are my love, the love of my life.
(Verse Two)
I remember when I did your interview,
I gazed into your bright green eyes,
you looked in my eyes too.
There was something there,
in your wide-mouthed face.
Whether it's love or repulsion
I plan to find out tonight.
How could something that feels so right
Ever be wrong.
It was my love that gave me strength,
and kept me hanging on.
(Chorus):
You are the love of my life,
I'm so glad you found me.
You are the love of my life,
You can put your arms around me.
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally find something real.
You are my hedgehog dressed in white,
You are my love, the love of my life.
(Bows)
Jon: Uh, Josh, Amy wears red now.
Josh: I know, but white rhymed better.
Jon: Yeah, I guess...
(Josh walks over to normal set)
Josh: Well, welcome to the show today. My guests will be Lady Lara-Le and (sigh) Amy Rose. I wonder where Lara is? (Picks up golf club and taps it on the ceiling.) Lara? You ready?
Lara: (from upstairs) I'll be down in a minute!
Jon:What's that pink bottle on the table?
Josh:Oh, this? It's from my Ixis Naugus catalog. It's a super-powerful love potion.
Jon: You aren't planning to use that on Amy, are you?
Josh: Oh.....no, but if some were to ACCIDENTALLY fall into her coffee...
Jon: You're despicable.
Josh: Sane men must sometimes take desperate measures. (Pours a capful into a mug marked "Amy", then shrugs and pours the whole bottle.)
Lara: (running in and sitting down) Sorry, just had to get my face on.
Josh: Well, thanks for doing the show.
Lara: No problem--a very short commute.
Josh: So let's get started. Unexpectedly, you're one of the Knuckles comic's most famous characters, even though you're a parental figure. How do you pull this off?
Lara: Oh, I don't know. I guess the Knuckles comic has a lot of female readers, and I can relate to them well, being an older, wiser figure. (Sips coffee.)
Josh: Mmmmn, I can see that. You seem to be sort of a "cool mom"-style character, though you play more of an emotional role than an action one.
Lara: I guess. (Sips coffee.) I try to appeal to male fans too, not by being the sexy heroine but just by being a likeable person. (Sips coffee.)
Josh: So, any chance of you and Wyn tying the knot soon?
Lara: Oh, well, we're thinking about it, but we want to wait a while as of yet; the marriage might be a little tough for Knuckles. He wishes Locke and I to be a couple again. (Sips coffee.) We're still friends, and I'm glad for that, but...(sips coffee.) This coffee tastes funny, Josh. What's in it?
Josh: Well, it can't be the caterer...WAIT a minute, which mug are you drinking from?
Lara: (Looks at mug.) Oops, this is Amy's mug, sorry!
Josh: (dumbfounded) Uhhhh...Lara....I should tell you something about that coffee, you see, it's....uh...
Lara: What, decaf?
Josh: Well...
Lara: You know, Josh, I just noticed what a handsome young man you are. (Takes a gulp of coffee). In fact, you're VERY handsome. (Stands).
Josh: (Standing behind his chair) Uh, Lara...you should calm down a bit.
Lara: I don't know why, Josh, but I'm very attracted to you.
Jon: (Laughing) I think that's the coffee talking.
Josh: Um...my Lady...
Lara: I have to be close to you. Just kiss me once.
Josh: (Rotating, keeping chair in between Lara and him.) Jon, help!
Joh: Hey, your mess, you clean it up.
Josh: HELP ME!
(Lara jumps the chair, wraps her arms around Josh's neck and kisses him.)
Knuckles: (from upstairs) Mom? You home?
Jon: She's down here!
Josh: (Pulling away from Lara for a second) Shut UP!
Knuckles: (entering) Hey, Mom, I was just passing by and...WHAT'S GOING ON?!!
(Jon falls down laughing.)
Josh: Tossing Lara-Le on the couch. Hey...um...it's nothing, you see...it's kinda funny...you're really gonna laugh heh heh heh...I took this love potion and--
Knuckles: You used a love potion on my MOTHER?!
Josh: NO!...I mean...yes...but not on purpose--
(Knuckles pummels Josh, leaving him laying on the floor thorougly beaten to a pulp.)
Knuckles: Come on, Mom. (Begins pulling her off.)
Lara: (Fading into the distance) No, Knuckles, I love him! Tell Wyn it's off! I want Josh!
Josh: (in pain) OOoooohhhhhhhhh.
Jon: Let's hope that stuff wears off.
(Amy enters)
Amy: I'm ready for my special appearance! (Notices Josh on the floor.) What happened?!
Jon: Lara-Le took the love potion meant for you, and Knuckles didn't appreciate it.
Amy: (turning to Josh.) You were going to use a love potion on me?
Josh: (groggy) Amy, I didn't know you were a triplet.
Amy: That was sweet Josh. The least I can do is let you buy me dinner.
Josh: Can you call me an ambulance first?
Amy: Sure. (Bends over and kisses him on the cheek.) I'll be back.
Josh: Oooh, Jon, did she just kiss me or am I hallucinating?
Jon: She kissed you.
Josh: I'd leap for joy if it wasn't for all my numerous internal injuries. Well, anyway, join us next time Sonicfans when my guest will be King Maximillian Acorn. See you then!
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tourists have stopped by to chat with Lady Lara-Le since September 18, 1999. Of course, they all got the living snot beaten out of them, but hey...