Fan Mail Gone Awry
The SegaSonic versions of our favourite characters recieve fan-mail pertaining to their Archie and SatAM selves. Let's watch!
Submitted by: Toni Ferraro
Hi gang! Sonic here! Glad you can join us! My friends and I are just hanging around, while reading our fan mail! Whether it'd be tips in our games, or just to say how much they appreciate us! Join us, won't you?
Dear Sonic,
When are you gonna marry Sally??? It's obvious you two love each other! So pop the question to her, will ya?? You deserve to be King of Mobius!
Invite me to the wedding! ^_^
Love,
Heather
Dear Heather,
....... who's Sally?
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Dear Sonic,
Are you single???
Love,
Tiffany
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Not ME, a different Tiffany! :P)
Dear Tiffany,
No, I'm not. And no, I'm not with Amy, Sega fans. I'm secretly seeing Crash Bandicoot's little sister, Cocoa.... oh shit, I shouldn't have said that...
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DER SOIC,
HOW DU U GET PAZT THOZ BARRLZ IN SONIC 3????!!!!??!1!!1??/!1
Oh my god!!! It's an attack from Russia!!!!! Destroy!! Destroy!! ::rips letter in shreds, and throws them in the fire place:: *ahem* Next...
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Dear Sonic,
Why are you always naked??? Don't you have any dignity??
Love,
Brian
Dear Brian,
When was the last time you made a big deal when your cat strutted across the living room, huh??
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Dear Sonic,
When does your show come on?
Love,
Kevin
Dear Kevin,
That's none of your business!!! .... oh wait.... *nervous laugh*
Uh... go look at Disney's site... *mumbles* It may keep you distracted...
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Dear Tails,
If you're currently single, I have a friend who is VERY in love with you! And she's SO hot!! She'd make your mouth water! If you stared at her, you'd probably be like "Are those for REAL??" Give her a call! *wink*
Love,
Tara
Dear Tara,
MY GOD!! I'm only eight!! What?? You and your friends tryin' to molest me??
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Dear Tails,
If you lost one of your tails, where would you go to get a new one?
(Tails:) Dear... wait there's more...
A reTAILer!! Get it?? LoL
Love,
Brad
Dear Brad,
Take my advice.... seek help.
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Dear Knuckles,
I'm confused!! I know Locke is your father, Sabre is his father, and Athair is his father, but what about this Hawking dude? How did he get into a coma? Why is there only ONE female Guardian? Why do all the echidnas look just like you, except the Brotherhood Echidnas? Wouldn't Hawking notice that he picked up someone else BESIDES his own son?? And why did it take SO long for the Brotherhood to find this out? And if Kragok and Kommisar are brother and sister, then why does Kragok call Moritori Rex his father, while Kommistar calls him her grandfather? I figured since you're the star of this
comic book, you'd clear things up. Thank you.
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
........... what the HELL are you talking about??? You must have the wrong Knuckles... I'm the one that likes to punch things.
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Dear Amy,
Give it up, girl! Sonic does NOT like you! He avoids you in every way he can! You can't just be the type that sits and screams like a wimp while he rescues you! Sonic should have the type he can fight alongside with! One where he shares common with! A girl he's known ever since they were babies! You're nothing more than the Princess Toadstool of SEGA! Leave now while you can, and give the female role to someone who REALLY deserves it!
Love,
Scott
Dear Scott,
Can you say "Piko Piko Hammer Attack"?
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