Political Speech
By (Name of Person), who is running for (Title) of (Place).
"My fellow (Plural Noun), the time has come for us to (Verb) into the future. We must set aside our petty differences and unite against the far greater evil of (Abstract Noun or Emotion). We must never forget that this great nation was founded on the principal of equal (Noun) for all.
"If elected, I promise to lower taxes, get tougher on crime, and combat (Substance) abuse. And NO doctor in (Same Place) will be able to charge (Number) dollars for a bottle of aspirin while I'M in office.
"My opponent, (Name of Person), charges me with dishonesty. While I have nothing but the deepest respect for the (Title) from (Place), I must point out that this charge is coming from someone who has been photographed coming out of motel rooms with men/women who were not his/her wife/husband, including (Celebrity of the Opposite Gender of Second Person)! My opponent freely admits to (Verb Ending in "ing") the draft during (Historical Event), and his/her record speaks for itself; in the (Number) years my opponent has been in office, (Place the Opponent is From)'s taxes rose by (Number) percent. Almost every (Noun) in the area closed, putting thousands of (Job, Pluralised) out of work. And Lake (Someone's Last Name) has become practically a toxic waste dump. My opponent denies it, but radioactive (Creature, Plural) have been photographed crawling out of that lake.
"So, therefore, my fellow (Same plural noun from the beginning), remember:
"A vote for my opponent is a vote for crime, unemployment, pollution, and (Plural Noun). But if you want two (Vehicle, Plural) in every garage, gasoline that only costs (Number) cents per gallon, and perhaps a decent education for your children if you're really lucky or really rich, then go down on (Day of the Year) and vote for me. Yes....You WILL vote for me...You are getting sleepy....VEEEEERRRRRYYYY sleeeeepppy....your eyelids are becoming oh so heavy...you will vote for me...you will vote for me...you will..."
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