Romance Novels
By Chaos Theory T. Echidna, İFebruary 22, 1994.
Romance novels are a form of "literature" that is sweeping the nation, like cancer or something, infesting book stores everywhere. They are very popular with lowlifes such as middle-aged (Plural Noun), perverts, and couch (Plant, Plural). They are also very popular to write: the average romance novel author can make up to (Number) dollars per book, and the giants of the field, such as (Famous Female) or (Famous Female), have incomes in the millions.
The first romance novel was written just after (A Historical Event). Since then, there has never been a shortage of morons to fatten the wallets of those who write them.
Romance novels usually have this theme: A (Adjective) young woman falls for a dashing but sinister young man who seduces her; meanwhile a nice clean-cut young (Noun) strives to capture her affection and eventually she sees the light and leaves the sinister man for him. Occasionally someone will get killed, but never, unfortunately, the main characters, and this basic theme will cover pretty much all of them. The covers of romance novels usually feature a voluptuous young woman whose (Part of the Body) is heaving most of the way out of her dress, and a muscular young man with his (Article of Clothing) off.
A typical scene goes like this: "Lady (Female First Name) gazed (Adverb) into the intense, (Verb ending in "ing") eyes of Lord (Male First Name), and her (Part of the Body) began to pound, and her body began to tremble beneath her (Colour) (Material) gown, as his powerful hands (Verb, Past Tense) here, and the strength of his muscles, like (Substance), thrilled her as he took her into his arms and pressed his (Part of the Body) against hers in a long, burning kiss, and the waves of passion washed over her as the (Adjective) moonlight gleamed on his (Colour) hair, and the scent of the blooming (Plural Noun) intoxicated her as, in a fit of lust, he ripped her (Article of Clothing) off, and then thank God she passed out so we don't have to read any more of this."
So, if you have the I.Q. of (Substance) and absolutely no life, you may want to go down to your local bookstore and grab a cartload of romance novels.
The rest of us, however, would rather read something with more intellectual depth, such as the funny pages.
Click HERE to return to the main Mad Libs page.
Click HERE to return to the main Humour page.
Click HERE to return to Sandopolis.