The History of Video Games!



Video games are a form of entertainment designed to make people waste as many (Plural Noun) as possible. They used to be only for children or teenagers, but today a good (Number) percent of the players are age (Amount of Time) or older.
The first video game ever created was "(Silly Word)", invented during (Historical Era), in which players simply used (Plural Noun) to bat a little (Noun) back and forth against a plain (Colour) screen. Originally, video games had only the most basic sound effects--bleeps, boops, and (Sound, Pluralised), with almost no music at all.
Yet the technology was gradually improving. When companies from (Place) like Atari or (A Company Name) started off in (Another Historical Era), they had very simple pictures by today's standards, but they were definitely a step up from "(Same Silly Word)". Some games from this time period include "(Letter of the Alphabet)-Bert", in which a/an (Adjective) little critter with a really weird-looking (Part of the Body) has to change all the (Plural Noun) on the screen to a different colour by (Verb Ending in Ing") on them; "(Insect)", in which a (Same Insect) crawls (Adverb) down the screen and you have to shoot all its pieces before it reaches the bottom, and my personal favourite, the obscure Coleco game "(Part of the Body) War", in which you play a/an (Imaginary Creature) and fly around, dodging rocks, bats, and (Plural Noun).
Of course, the MOST popular and famous game of this period was called "Pac-(Type of Person)", in which a little yellow circle with a big mouth has to eat all the (Plural Noun) on the screen before the (Imaginary Creature, Plural) catch up with him. WHY this was so popular I don't quite know, (although I DID think it was pretty neat at age 8), but for a while there, the character's "face" was just about everywhere you looked--from a Saturday morning cartoon (which I watched religiously, even though it was on at 6:30 A.M...erk I can't believe I just admitted that in public!) to merchandise such as T-shirts, mugs, toothbrushes, sleeping-bags, and even (Plural Noun)!
Then, (Amount of Time) later, companies like (Company Name) and Nintendo came on the scene, and video games underwent another revolution of sorts. Not only were the graphics twice as good as they used to be, but now they had actual MUSIC in the background! Granted, much of the music was simplistic at best, but it was still a large improvement. Other revolutionary new concepts were the idea of games that actually have ENDINGS, as opposed to just racking up points against a never-changing background until your hands fall off, and games that were not so action-oriented, such as role-playing and adventure games. In these categories, the emphasis was not so much on blowing up your enemy as it was on figuring out a mystery or completing a quest. Some of these include "The Legend of (Famous Female)", in which a valiant (Type of Person) has to find and put together the (Number) pieces of the mystical (Noun) in order to rescue a/an (Adjective) Princess; (Creature) Warriors 1, 2, 3, and 4, which are too complicated to explain here, and (Adjective) Fantasy, a well-written fairy-tale with rather pretty graphics.
Of course, the game that made Nintendo so successful was "Super (Male First Name) Brothers". In this game, a couple of (Nationality) (Job, Pluralised) jump, swing, and throw (Plural Noun) to save the (Type of Food) Kingdom from the clutches of the evil (Famous Male). This game was SO popular, in fact, that (Number) sequels were made off of it, and it has gotten to the point that if I see (Same Male Name) just ONE more time, I'm gonna puke.
Anyway, a few years after this period started, companies like Sega and Turbo-(Plural Noun)-16 (which died out within months) came up with yet ANOTHER step forward in video gaming technology, making the graphics twice as clear and detailed AGAIN, smoothing out the "scrolling" from screen to screen, adding 3-D depth, and giving the music near stereo quality. The most famous Sega series is called "Sonic the (Animal), about a spiky-haired dude who can roll up into a (Geometric Shape) and (Adverb) zip away at speeds of up to (Distance) per hour, and his friends, Miles "(Part of the Body, Plural)" Prower, a cute little orange (Animal), and (Part of the Body, Plural), a red (Animal). Sega's most famous role-playing series is probably "Phantasy (Noun)", which takes place in a solar-system made up of (Number) planets and tells the story of various groups of heroes striving to save their lands from "The (Adjective) Darkness", among other, lesser villians.
Later on, Sony came onto the video game scene with their 32-bit "(Verb)station", which introduced their own platformer series, "(Verb) Bandicoot" and many others. One of the most popular games on the Nintendo 64 was "The Legend of (Zelda's New Name): the (Musical Instrument) of Time." And now we have the Sega (Noun)cast, with its (Adjective) 128-bit graphics and games like "Sonic (Noun)" and (Colour) Stinger." With huge strides forward like these happening so quickly now, who KNOWS where the future of video games will take us?
I have no idea, of course. But I DO know it was a lot simpler in the days when all we had to worry about was eating dots.

Original Version ŠJanuary 26, 1996.
Extended and Updated Version ŠAugust 28, 1999, Chaos Theory T. Echidna.



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