"A Faery Tale"
Well...Kinda...
Once upon a time, there lived a young (Imaginary Creature) Prince named (Famous Male). He was very sad. He was already (Number) years old and still had not married!
So he had a proclamation posted throughout all the Kingdom, for every young maiden who was interested, to come to the castle, from far and wide. Out of these, he would choose a wife.
But when the fateful day came, only THREE maidens showed up!
The first was very lovely, with skin as soft as (Plural Noun) and hair like (Substance); very nice if you happen to like that sort of thing. Her eyes were like two shining pools of (A Liquid), and her face was very (Adjective). She was the daugher of the (Imaginary Creature) Count from across the sea.
"And what can you offer the throne?' inquired the Prince of the Countess, who was named (Famous Female).
"I can cook (Plural Noun) so well it will make you want to (Verb), can help out in matters of state, and be (Frequency) loyal to you."
The Prince acknowledged her speech with a nod of his (Part of the Body). "Next."
The second maiden, (A Famous Female), who was a/an (Imaginary Creature) Duke's daughter from the (Adjective) Mountains, (Verb, Past Tense) forth. She was even fairer than the first, if such a thing could be possible. Her (Adjective) hair (Verb, Past Tense) down her back like strands of (Plural Noun). Her complexion was as (Adjective) as any angel's, and she moved with the grace of a/an (Animal).
"I can offer a loving companion, a caring mother, and a devoted wife," she said, curtseying.
"Really?" asked the Prince, who was not exactly the sharpest sword in the armoury, if you get my drift. "Where? Bring them in!"
The Duchess stamped her (Part of the Body). "Me, stupid! I can play the harpsichord most (Adverb), that I may cheer you on your gloomy days. And I can weave lovely (Plural Noun), that I may brighten the walls of the castle with (Adjective) colour."
The Prince nodded. "Next."
When the third and final maiden (Verb, Past Tense) into the room, all the men fainted (except for the Prince; he has to stay awake because the script says so.) She was a goddess! Her long, flowing black hair swept behind her like a cape, and her slender form was a delight to behold. Her large, dark eyes stared (Adverb) into those of the Prince as she approached the throne.
"I, (Famous Female), daughter of (Famous Male), the (Imaginary Creature) King of (Place), present myself to Prince (the Prince's Name) of (Place) for marriage."
"And what do YOU offer?" inquired the Prince.
"Nothing," she said in her wonderfully (Adjective) voice. "Nothing, but complete and total devotion, (Number between 1 and 300) days of the year."
The Prince acknowledged her pledge.
The fateful day finally arrived, the day when the Prince would finally announce his choice, when he would announce which damsel was to be the new Queen. (Plural Noun) sounded a fanfare and the three maidens (Verb, Past Tense) into the throne room, bowing (Adverb).
"Step forth, ladies (Countess's Name), (Duchess's Name), and (Princess's Name)," commanded the Prince.
The maidens came forth.
"Today," boomed the Prince in that obnoxiously over-dramatic way he had, as he addressed the crowd that was assembled below, "I will choose not only who is to be my lawfully wedded wife, but also who is to be your Queen. And so, between the fair (Countess's Name), the lovely (Duchess's Name), and the ravishing (Princess's Name), I choose--"
"Yes?" demanded the maidens.
"I choose--"
"Yes? YES?!" demanded the entire crowd.
"NONE of them!"
Upon which, the three maidens pulled out semi-automatic machine guns and blew him away.
Well, could ya really blame them?
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