Just in time for Halloween, it's a Mad Lib about:
VAMPIRES!
Vampires. The very word can strike horror into the hearts of the bravest of men. These malevolent monsters rise from the dead to stalk the night and bite their innocent, unsuspecting victims on the (Part of the Body) and suck out their (Liquid), thereby satiating their eternal, unholy hunger. Vampires are so devious, they can scarcely be told apart from warm, breathing human beings, but luckily, there ARE ways of discovering them. Vampires are usually deathly pale, have uncannily long, sharp canine teeth, and cast no reflection in a glass, nor a shadow in daylight. Yet they never venture forth in daylight, for a single shaft of the sun's rays would utterly destroy them, leaving naught but a pile of dust. So they rest in their (Plural Noun) from sunrise to sunset, during which time they have no powers and are vulnerable. Yet their (Same Plural Noun) are so well-hidden and guarded that very few vampires have ever been destroyed in this manner.
Vampires have many terrifying powers. They are incredibly strong, can turn into (Animal, Plural), (Another Plural Animal), or (Non-Solid Substance) and slip through the tiniest cracks. They can hynotise their victims and force them to do their bidding.
But they are not without their weaknesses. They have a great fear of sacred symbols, especially (Plural Noun) and holy (Food), and cannot approach you if either one of these is presented to them (Adverb). They also cannot stand (Plant). (Animal, Plural) and other creatures can sense a vampire's evil presence, and will bark loudly if they are nearby. Vampires cannot cross running (Liquid), and if you hold them under it, their bodies will shrivel away.
Most brave, decent folks, however, opt for the more straightforward method--to pound a sharpened wooden (Noun) through the (Part of Body) of the foul fiend, using a heavy (Noun). This must be done during the daylight hours, when, as I have mentioned, the vampire is powerless. Even then, it will not be truly dead unless you cut off its head and stuff the mouth with (Plural Noun).
The most famous (and feared) vampire was Count (Famous Male), a truly fiendish creature of darkness, who, with his three wives, (Famous Female), (Another Famous Female), and (Still Another Famous Female), held (Place) in constant terror. Then came along (Famous Male), the great vampire-hunter, who destroyed all four, thereby making (Same Place) safe once again...
Or IS it?!
And do we really care?
Just remember little kiddies, when you are tucked safe away in your beds tonight, that the harmless shadows and mists outside just MIGHT be a villianous bloodsucking monster.
Goodnight out there...WHATEVER you are...BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!
(Note: The stilted, overdramatic, old-fashioned writing style of this Mad Lib is due to the fact that I was trying to copy the style of the ORIGINAL novel "Dracula" by Bram Stoker, which I had just barely read at the time.)
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