"A Brief Interview with Ixis Naugus"



By Joshua Knode

Josh: Good day Sonicfans! Welcome to "Sonic Talk". Tonight we'll be joined by sorceror extraordinnaire Ixis Naugus!
Ixis: Good evening.
Josh: All right, first question--what species are you exactly? Many fans have been unable to figure that out.
Ixis: I'm a bat, with a few...added features.
Josh: Namely the claw there.
Ixis: Yep, and the horn.
Josh: I've heard about you being cut out of a third season of the SatAM cartoon.
Ixis: It's true--in the third season I was going to become the main villian--seems the Power Rangers killed any chance of that dream coming true.
Josh: Too bad. I think you're an excellent villian.
Ixis: Yes, I mean I'm self-serving, powerful, and evil to the core.
Josh: You'd make a great main villian. I mean, really, which is scarier--a sorceror or a scientist?
Ixis: Exactly! I can turn you into a goat; what's the worst Robotnik can do, turn you into a robot?
Josh: Frankly, I'd just rather be a good ol' Human.
Ixis: (Holds up claw). You sure? Because I can fix it for you if you're not.
Josh: NO, just plain ol' Human for me.
Ixis: Oh, come on. My love potion may have failed you, but maybe you'll have a chance with Amy Rose as a hedgehog! (Ixis zaps Josh and he turns into a six-foot-tall green hedgehog.) Of course, you'll have to be shorter. (Shortens him to about three feet.)
Josh: I have this sudden urge for a chili dog.
Ixis: Ya know, you might look good as an echidna. (This time Josh turns into a purple echidna, his hat falling down over his eyes.)
Jon: (From offstage) Turn him into a deer!
Josh: Ix my man, while I'd enjoy being a member of the smartest species on Mobius, I'd think I'm happy just being a plain ol' Overlander.
Ixis: Sure. (Turns Josh back to his normal self.) But you've got no ambition.
Josh: Well, that's about all the time we have. Thanks for doing the show, Ix, and the chance to try out hedgehogdom.
Ixis: (in announcer voice) Order my transformation kit from the catalog!
Josh: I might try that. See you next time Sonicfans, when we'll take a break from our regularly scheduled silliness to pay a touching tribute to a comrade who has recently departed. Adios!



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144 tourists have been stupid enough to talk to Ixis Naugus since October 21, 1999. Of course, they all ended up crawling, swimming, or flapping away as all kinds of weird creatures, but hey...