"A Brief Interview with Dr. Robotnik"



By Joshua

Josh: Hello, Sonic-a-holics, and welcome to a special edition of "Sonic Talk." Why is it special? Why, because of my extra-special guest, of course. Ladies and gentlemen, the baddest of the bad, the evillest of the evil, the man that makes Satan look like the Good Humor man, the one and only Dr....Julian...ROBOTNIK!!
D.R.: Nice introduction.
Josh: Thank you, I've worked hard on it. So, how is the tyrant life treating you?
D.R.: Besides a few meddlesome mammals, rather well actually. Also the fact that I'm dead, which is quite a downer sometimes.
Josh: True, but you've been doing pretty well considering it, with "Sonic Adventure" and all.
D.R.: (nods) Yes, that was a lot of fun, making that, working with the programmers and all. I was motion-captured just so they could get my stomach-jiggle perfectly. It's a really detailed game.
Josh: (with forced smile) Really. What an appetizing thought.
D.R.: It's a great game.
Josh: So, one thing I'm sure my viewers want to know--does the bad man have a soft side for anything? A weakness? Something you hold dear?
D.R.: Nope, not a one.
Josh: No hobbies or anything?
D.R.: Nope.
Josh: Just purest evil, huh?
D.R.: That's me.
Josh: Well, that makes pretty good sense. You ARE the villian afer all.
D.R.: Proud of it, too.
Josh: Nice to hear it. I have time for one more question.
D.R.: Shoot.
Josh: You've been depicted several different ways over the years...from the earlier games, to Fleetaway, to Archie, to "The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog"--and now this new "Eggman" look. Out of all these, which is your favourite?
D.R.: That's a tough one. They were all evil to the core, and I enjoyed them all so much it's tough to pick just one. (thinks) I guess I'll have to say the Archie one. He's tough, evil, not quite as bumbling as the others, and rarely used for comic relief. I don't mind the "Bumbling Villian" role, but that one was a real breath of fresh air.
Josh: Too bad you're dead, huh?
D.R.: (shrugs) That's life.
Josh: Okay, folks, that's all we have time for. Join us next time when we have Bunnie Rabbot, and special musical guests, (checks card to make sure) the Brotherhood of Guardians. (does double-take) Wait a second! Musical?! (checks again) Well, I guess so. Weird. Anyway, I'll see you next time!



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436 suicidal tourists have stopped by to talk with Dr. Julian Robotnik since August 20, 1999. Of course, he...ROBOTICISED them! Duh...what did ya think he was gonna do?