Petey- Yippee! But I'd never do anything mean like that cause I'm Petey the...ugh...gruuuh...oooh
Skipper-
* * *
Good point, Mic.
Date: 3/21/2000
From: wurwolf
Don't pick a vehicle that someone else has already chosen. I guess that means you'll have to read all the replies before you take your pick.
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
* * *
I want the flying, fish-monster.
Date: 3/21/2000
From: Samurai88
Since no one thought of this, I'm taking Zigra! Is it a space ship that turns into a monster or a monster that turns into a space ship? Who knows? It all smells of fish.
"KCTT"
Samurai88
* * *
Dibs on Satan's Maverick! 3/21/2000 EmbyMellay
* * *
Hooray!
Date: 3/21/2000
From: cowbear
The one I wanted isn't taken yet unless someone's posting as I post this! I want Mitchell's big blue Ford! Woo-hoo! Hunk of junk!!!
:) - cowbear
* * *
I call the pig Sled!!!! Yippee!!!
Date: 3/21/2000
From: Smelly_Mel
prepaire to get run off the road! Yeehaa!
(Do I get the cool stick thing?)
(^_^)
* * *
Big and Bold!
Date: 3/21/2000
From: tsunami7
Hahahahahahahaha!
Foolish mortals! You darest deal with a demi-godular, bohunkular, humongulous half-god like I, the Mighty tsunami7?! Hahahahahahaha!
Prepare to eat facefulls of dirt and wheel-fulls of ripping blades as I round around the Hippodrome in my souped up 1958 Hercules Special Edition Chevy Chariot! (Step back and feel the entire EIGHT horsepower 'engine'!!)
So come, if you dare, and face ultimate humilation and prepare to glorify my name! I have been chosen! Deemed by holy right, I shall conquer all within the arena of competition!!
Sample two-fisted racing at my hands!
Late.
teh, taht, sprot!
Whoosh!
tsunami7
Drinking to deeply and wandering too far since 1994.
* * *
Hey, you forgot Cabot's '69 Firebird...
Date: 3/21/2000
From: MSTzilla
...it was really cool and it's all mine...Dibs! Dibs! I called it.
MSTzilla
-burnin' rubber and grabbin' gears!
* * *
Oh shoot, I jump from the Firebird...
Date: 3/21/2000
From: MSTzilla
...and climbed into MEGAWEAPON! Go ahead, get in my way. And in case you're thinking of getting under and sabotaging it, I've just welded that little door shut. So don't even think about it!
MSTzilla
* * *
Damn you Emby! Oh well, I call dibs...
Date: 3/21/2000
From: Cosmic_Princess
...on Rowsdower's truck!
* * *
I'm taking the Spider!!!
Date: 3/22/2000
From: Carmelita9000
And you better stay out of my way or my car is gonna grab you and stuff you up it's butt!
Bwa-ha-ha!
Lita
* * *
Arch's Dunebuggy from Eegah!
Date: 3/22/2000
From: Goldfinger
With that God-awful music roaring in the background, frightening small children out of my path.
* * *
RPG eh?
Date: 3/22/2000
From: ManMan
Well then, if the game masters permit: The time transport COMPUTER on a horse. Can I do that? If not, just the transport. heh.
ManMan
PostGod
* * *
The Van O'Love from Hobgoblins
Date: 3/22/2000
From: chickenoftomorrow
Clearly, it can handle fast action.
My apologies, folks, but I am afraid I must now...
LEAVE YOU IN THE DUST! VROOM, VROOM, VROOOOOOM!
VICTORY IS MINE!!
Bwaaa, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!
cot
* * *
I hope this one qualifies...
Date: 3/22/2000
From: Cavewoman
I'm taking Puma Man. He's not technically a vehicle, but he is a mode of transportation. I'm gonnna ride him like there's no tomorrow. As long as he doesn't fly like a moron, that is.
Giddy up!
Cavewoman
* * *
Sidehackin' Is the Thing ta Do... ;)
Date: 3/22/2000
From: Clayton_Forrester
WHOO-HOO! Nobody ran off with any of the goofy motorcycles from one of my favourite early epsiodes yet, so I can get one still! YEAH! Yeee-haw! ;) And since it's a motorcycle built for two, (in a weird way), I can bring my sidekick, T.V.'s Frank, with me--and together, we are going to pop the clutch and tell the world to EAT OUR DUST!! ;)
Actually, TWO of my favourite ones miraculously haven't been taken yet, and I'm torn. Can I have Commando Cody's backpack TOO? If no-one else wants it? And give it to one of my other names, Queen Cleolanta? Please? :)
I mean, hey, most of the people here are Sci-Fi Channel era only, so it's not like there's going to be any huge RUN on KTMA/Season One-era vehicles... :)
File this one, Larry.
--Clay--
"David Warner, I arrest you in the name of...David Warner!"
* * *
Whaahoooo!
Date: 3/22/2000
From: BloodFairy
I always wanted a jet pack!Does it take regular or unleaded?
BloodFairy
"now with 30% more nuts"
* * *
Graves-mobile from "ICTW"
Date: 3/22/2000
From: hsauer
Yes, the bike Peter Graves has to ride in It Conquered the World, when the Venusian vegetable monster neutralizes all the vehicles in the world (except those of his henchmen).
* * *
I am calling my vehicle the:
Date: 3/22/2000
From: RimseysDeadlyBeeCar
(well it's Rimsey's Deadly Bee Car.)
Or as some of you will find out- The Evil Upsetting Clown Car Of Ultimate Doom!!!!!
Wouldn't it be fun if we all named our cars after ourselves? Can we do that? It would be super ultra extra wicked way COOL if we could!!!!!! (We would also remember what type of vehicle that person is driving.)
A_Judas_Rimmer
"Well I can't say I'm totally shocked. You'll bonk anything won't you!"
* * *
Unsafe at any speed
Date: 3/22/2000
From: Yamaglonche
No steering, no brakes, no safety belt, NO MOTOR! My choice of racing vehicle is "THE SCREAMING LEMUR" the bot-built roller coaster from a host segment in 'The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies". I Don't expect to win, I just like the thrill of hurtling to my doom in a stylish but deadly carnival ride. Maybe I'll take a few competitors with me. heh heh heh..
-canned yams
* * *
Wheelchair from The Atomic Brain!
Date: 3/22/2000
From: _VeGeTa_vampire
It wasn't already picked, was it?
* * *
Hey, this is a really cool idea!
Date: 3/22/2000
From: Nydia
This is the best game I've seen so far! I think I'll play. I want Gumbo's Firetruck from Robot Rumpus. I may not win either but I'll have fun riding around in it!
(Careful not to grate your butt on the ladder!)
* * *
Yeah Baby! I know what I want!
Date: 3/22/2000
From: MalcolmFrink
I'll take the electrician's truck from Devilfish. I want to pick up chicks and babes and lovely ladies along the way. No woman can resist me. I'm an electrician!
I know all the right curves, hills, valleys, and shortcuts to take and I'm not talking about the road!
My friends Blowie and Floppy have come along for a ride to help me find my way through the dense, moist jungle ahead to the treasure that lies inside. I mean they have a map and everything plus dolphins are smarter than humans. They'd have to be to be able to navigate their way on land. (Were you looking for inuendo? If there reallly was some here would I name the dolphin Floppy of all things?)
What the Hell? I'm an electrician. I can still perform with the right tool when there is a job that needs to be done!
* * *
the car in MST the movie
Date: 3/22/2000
From: el_bootblacker
sorry cowbear, i was just excited to pair up with joe don... i am sure noone has the car from mst the movie, the one the professor was driving. it needs a little work though since it was blown up and all. i should have it up and running soon, and the professor is coming, too! finally a vehicle of my own!
el_b
* * *
Heh heh heh...
Date: 3/22/2000
From: RedFraggle
Can I race too? If it's not okay for me then won't but I want to ride the three wheeler that the little kid rode in Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders where he was almost creamed by the car. I want to bring the monkey with me too!
<:8))))~~~
* * *
ZOOM!! Here's mine.
Date: 3/22/2000
From: KingBoodozer
I'm driving the car from "Diabolic". I'm not sure if it's a 1967 Jaguar or 1967 Austin-Martin, but whatever it is, it looks cool and I'm driving it and driving fast too!!
(Now you never mind the fact that I have absolutely no idea how to drive a fancy fast sports car).
*Ahem*
If that's taken, then it's the hang glider from "Cave Dwellers" for me. I like to be seen in high places.
KingBoodozer
The nasty little man.
Avoiding driving since 1903.
KING!!
I'd like to drive...
Date: 3/22/2000
From: gypsymoon3
What about Exeter's spacecraft in "MST3K: TM"? If nobody's claimed that yet, I'd like to - I haven't got a license for anything else.
Sounds like a fun game!
xoxo
gypsymoon3
* * *
I just can't help myself.
Date: 3/22/2000
From: Glaistig
I think I need to play too. I really really really really (etc) want to ride Digger Smolken's Hearse Carriage from The Undead. I have a body in the back and everything! Now I need to think of some songs to sing while I'm burying the bodies of those of you who don't survive along along the way.
* * *
Ooh!! I shall take over this race...
Date: 3/22/2000
From: PearlProtege
and then the world on the back of my exploding dino from Future War. (Well he won't explode while I'm on him but you know what I'm talking about.)
* * *
Schmoe and Wurwolf...
Date: 3/22/2000
From: Clayton_Forrester
I was just kidding about the jetpack. I was only gonna take it IF no-one else wanted it. See, I was sorta thinking that if anybody in one of the bigger, more powerful vehicles ran my motorcycle straight off a cliff, I could use the jetpack to fly to safety! ;)
But hey, I got a decent vehicle from an oldschool episode that I like, so I'm happy. And what a sidehack motorcycle lacks in strength, it can make up for in AGILITY. A small, thin vehicle can get into narrow spaces that some of these gigantic lumbering things you guys have can't. That's about my ONLY advantage so I'm usin' it! ;)
I'd like to make some more suggestions for vehicles now to help out other people, if I can:
Gypsymoon--I was gonnna say Exeter's spaceship as a suggestion! But the character's name escaped me for some reason. Which is odd 'cos he's one of the very very few MST characters that I actually LIKED. (Him, Torgo, and the lady scientist from Rocketship X-M are the ones I've had some sympathy for.) I was also gonna suggest "the biggest car in the county" from the movie, but again, that was used.
SO.
How about...
...the "Little Red Chevette" as Tom called it from "Attack of the THE Eye Creatures"? And also the 1962 Corvair convertible that the main character had? Nice cars...
...the funky lunar walker thingie from "Moon Zero Two"?
...Captain Joe's spaceship from the Fugitive Alien movies? It's a great ship, just don't TRY, TO KILL IT WITH A FORKLIFT... ;)
Various cardboard rocketships from Rocketship X-M, Crash of the Moons, Women of the Prehistoric Planet, Firemaidens of Outer Space, Twelve to the Moon, etc.
The Viking ship from Viking Women Vs. the Sea Serpent. We need some more watercraft here to balance it out, I think...
Speaking about watercraft, how about the CATALINA? As in, the main boat from the Catalina Caper! YEAH! Can't believe no-one has remembered that one yet...
The train from "The Rebel Set". I don't know how good a train would be in a race, but it is a VEHICLE, right...?
How about that goofy old truck that the main character from "Laserblast" had?
Motorboats from "Devil Fish".
Um....that's all for now.
I'd like to nominate the ORIGINAL Satellite of Love, from the KTMA days, but that's probably against the rules as it isn't from a movie. But it is SO different from the dogbone that I really can't see it as BEING the same ship only remodeled. If you ask me, Joel and the 'bots were transferred over because Forrester or Gizmonics wanted to use the original ship for something else. For those of you who haven't seen it, it was a weird, funky collection of metallic rings and spinny-things, looking kinda like an old-school sci-fi version of space STATION rather than a ship. But it was a ship. But hey, it would be a cool vehicle. You'd have older versions of the 'bots stuffed in a closet somewhere to talk to, plenty of room, lots of speed, viewscreens, Earth-to-ship communications, food, games, all kinds of wacky entertainment items AND a built-in MOVIE THEATER! Hee hee...
But it's against the rules, so, I'm just bein' silly. :)
File this one, Larry.
--Clay--
"If your hand fuses to the door, leave the area. Leave your hand, if necessary!"
* * *
I'm great at coming in last!
Date: 3/22/2000
From: manosgirl
I'll be driving the cute little two-seater convertible from Horror of Party Beach. And Tina, the boozy bitch will be there to argue with me so much that I'll lose my way a lot, that way I'll be sure to be the last one in.
See you at the finish line,
Manos' Girl
* * *
Is it too late for me to sign up?
Date: 3/22/2000
From: CheeseGoddess
Um..
My vehicle will be one of my one design, the Cheese-y Cinema Road Speeder. It's yellow and has a frig full of cheese and cupboards full of...well..we'll let the other racers see...
And of course, it has a 24-hour cheese-y mini-cinemas(movies (READ- Overdrawn)) over the rearview mirror. Very specialized and very armorized.
GIGB, speed-demon
* * *
has anyone taken. . . ?
Date: 3/22/2000
From: vijay
Pearl Forrester's WidowMaker? If not, I've got it now! My decoy is the "Norelco" spaceship from Laserblast!
vijay
* * *
I choose a vehicle from my favorite ep..
Date: 3/23/2000
From: CrowFan2000
...Pod People. My car is the pickup that "Huzzah!" guy gets out of right before the "Renaissance festival" line and first "Huzzah!".
* * *
DIBS ON THE RIDING WITH DEATH BIG-RIG 3/22/2000 Timmy3
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, for those of you semi-evolved simians trying to keep track of this at home, the current racing lineup is as follows:
1. Dumbschmoe (later known as "Schmoe_of_Space") in the Prince of Space's car.
2. wurwolf (later known as "AngelsVanODeath") in the van from "Angels' Revenge".
3. A_Judas_Rimmer (aka "RimseysDeadlyBeeCar") in a goofy car from "The Deadly Bees".
4. MiSTie_93874 (aka Mic) on Paul's motorcycle from "Track of the Moon Beast".
5. Soth in a floor-waxer from "Space Mutiny".
6. Skipper_of_Otters in Petey the Plane from "Skydivers".
7. Samurai88 in Zigra from "Gamera Vs. Zigra".
8. EmbyMellay in "Satan's Maverick" from "Touch of Satan".
9. cowbear in Mitchell's big blue Ford from, well, "Mitchell".
10. Smelly_Mel (later known as "Smelly_Pigmobile") in the pig-sled from "Jack Frost". (With scepter).
11. tsunami7 in Hercules' chariot from, well, the Hercules movies.
12. MSTZilla in MEGAWEAPON.
13. Carmelita in the giant Spider/car thing from "The Giant Spider Invasion". (NOT the same Giant Spider that ate ME; that's from a much earlier experiment, "Earth Vs. the Spider". Carmelita's vehicle still gave me the absolute creeping willies everytime I saw it, though...)
14. Goldfinger in Arch Hall's dunebuggy from "Eegah!"
15. ManMan with the Time Transport Computer from "Time Chasers", on a horse.
16. Chickenoftomorrow in the "Van O' Love" from "Hobgoblins". (Is that anything like the Satellite of Love...?)
17. Cavewoman "riding" Pumaman. Ugh, let's NOT go there...
18. Dr. Clayton Forrester, the feminized version anyway, my boss (later using the name "Sidehacker"), was riding a motorcycle-for-two from "Sidehackers". An experiment that happened shortly after I turned up "missing"...
19. Bloodfairy was flying with Commando Cody's jetpack. (Yes, I am aware that everyone in this race continuously refers to the guy as "CommandER Cody", but I was THERE for those experiments, I know his title!)
20. hsauer was riding Peter Graves' bicycle from "It Conquered the World".
21. Yamaglonche rode "The Screaming Lemur", a roller-coaster ride designed by Joel's robot creations--from a host segment in "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies".
22. Nydia in Gumbo's firetruck from the short "Robot Rumpus", shown before "The Screaming Skull".
23. el_bootblacker in "the biggest car in the county" from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie. (with Professor).
24. RedFraggle on the kid's threewheeler from "Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders".
25. KingBoodozer in Diabolik's car.
26. gypsymoon3 in Exeter's spaceship from MST3K: The Movie.
27. Glaistig in the Hearse Carriage from "The Undead".
28. PearlProtege on the exploding dinosaur from "Future War".
29. Manosgirl in the two-seater convertible from "The Horror of Party Beach". (with Tina "the Loveable Town Stripper").
30. CheeseGoddess in "The Cheese-Y Cinema Road Speeder", a car of her own design.
31. vijay in Pearl Forrester's van, the "Widowmaker".
32. CrowFan2000 in the "'Huzzah!' guy"'s truck from "Pod People".
33. Timmy3 in the big rig from "Riding With Death".
LADYKENOBI played the role of a lone spectator in the stands, watching and RIFFING along with Joel, Mike, Tom, and Crow, as you'll see.
DINGLEBERRYSNCREME (commonly referred to as simply "Dingle") took care of refreshments, as he ran the concession stands.
The above two weren't in the race, but were major characters in their own right and should be mentioned in this "cast list".
Others joined the race in progress, some switched vehicles either temporarily or permanently, or brought in other vehichles that people hadn't thought of yet, as the race went on. Some of the names above became major players and you'll see a LOT of them in the coming pages. And some disappeared without a trace almost immediately! Many changed their names to something reflecting their vehicle. But no matter how you slice it, this was one HECK of a race.
NOTE FROM CHAOS THEORY/CLAYTON FORRESTER: The race was to end at 12:00 Friday/Saturday EASTERN Standard Time. After vijay said he/she wanted to use the Widowmaker, I decided that the KTMA Satellite of Love was fair game as well. This will be important in the actual race storyline later on, as you'll see.
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tourists have been stupid enough to start reading the First Annual Mystery Science Theater 3000 Wacky Races since March 30, 2000. Of course, they were all run over and killed in numerous nasty ways.