"A Brief Interview with Citizen Wynmacher"
(We open on Josh wearing a rubber Darth Maul mask and wielding a toy double-bladed light sabre. Other than that he wears his usual outfit minus the hat.)
Josh: Good evening Sonic fans, and welcome to Sonic Talk. Josh couldn't make it out, so I, Darth Maul, evil Lord of the Sith, have decided to take over his duties as host. Tonight's guest is--
Jon: (who is dressed up as Abe Lincoln; the stovepipe hat shoved over one of his antlers.) Josh, you're not even trying.
Josh: Josh? Who is this? You must be mistaken, unknown bandleader! I am Darth Maul, Dark Lord of the Sith!
Jon: (pulls off Josh's mask.) Josh, you only wore one tiny part of the costume, and your acting is pathetic.
Josh: Well, sorry, the costume is kinda funny-looking. I'm a Christian, I grew up not celebrating Halloween.
Jon: It's simple: you just do whatever you do on every holiday, only in costume.
Josh: So I get drunk at a wild party...but dressed up as Darth Maul?
Jon: Yep.
Josh: I guess I can handle that.
Jon: Go put on the rest of your costume, Josh. I'll handle things 'til you get back.
Josh: All right, but I look like a Gregorian Monk in that thing...
Jon: Well, folks, as "Darth Maul" there was trying to say, our originally scheduled guest for tonight, Antoine DeCoolette, couldn't make it out. So instead we've got Lady Lara-Le's main squeeze, Citizen Wynmacher from the Knuckles comics. How are you tonight, Wyn?
Wyn: Fine, Mr. President. (chuckles.)
Jon: What? Oh, yeah, the costume, forgot I was wearing it. Well, Wyn, what have you been doing since the cancellation?
Wyn: Lots of seminars on how to be a good supporting character, that sort of thing.
Jon: So, you've been keeping busy?
Wyn: Oh, yes, I'm very much in demand at those seminars.
Jon: So why no costume?
Wyn: I didn't know we were dressing up. (Slips on a hockey mask.) How's this?
Jon: Better.
(Josh emerges in Darth Maul's flowing robes, a nearly perfect emulation of the movie.)
Jon: WOW! That is some costume, Josh! How'd you get ahold of it?
Josh: Found somebody else backstage looking for a costume, and we were the same size.
(The REAL Darth Maul emerges dressed in Josh's shirt, tie, and pants, carrying index cards and wearing a felt hat.)
Maul: Good evening Sonicfans! I'm Joshua Knode!
Josh: Now, wait a minute, I'M Joshua Knode!
Wyn: Aren't you Darth Maul?
Jon: I am thoroughly confused.
(Abe Lincoln enters dressed as Jon Fawn.)
Abe: Don't look now, Stag-boy, it gets worse.
Josh: (Pulls out double-bladed light sabre.) All right, Maul, that's the last straw! NOBODY claims to be me on my own show!
Maul: (Pulls out golf club.) Nice toy. Now let's see if you know how to USE it!
(Josh and Maul fight, Josh is completely pummeled.)
Maul: Well, I'm off to trick-or-treat. I think I'll stop by Amy's.
Josh: I guess THIS is why I never celebrated Halloween.
Jon: I gotta go Josh. Abraham Lincoln's trying to direct my band!
Abe: (singing) Oh, the sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home, come on guys, let's go!
Josh: Well, Wyn, thank you for doing the show. Sorry I couldn't have interviewed you more.
Wyn: No problem. I get ignored in the comics, so I'm used to it.
Josh: Well, that's all for today's "Sonic Talk". See you next time when my guests will be that robotic tag team, Heavy and Bomb! See you then, Sonicfans!
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tourists have stopped by to have a nice chat with Citizen Wynmacher since November 7, 1999. Of course, they all ended up with a lightsabre in their guts, but hey...