Knuckles the Echidna Comic #14:
"The Chaotix Caper: Volume 2: "A Tenuous Grip on
Reality"
Reviewed by Chaos Theory T. Echidna, June 30, 1999
Okay, let's start with the cover again. I must say,
first of all, that while the artwork on this cover is
quite good as always, I do not like it as much as the
cover for the first part of the Chaotix Caper (Knux #13).
That's because this one seems too cluttered somehow,
whereas the other one seemed to have a stark, sad, moody
atmosphere to it while still having lots of things and
people. Oh, well. At any rate, here we see Dudley
Do-Right and Julie-Locks (as Vector later calls them), I
mean, erm, Constable Remington and Julie-Su Echidna,
preparing to get medieval on the hineys of Renfield T.
Rodent and some INCREDIBLY overmuscled goon who I suppose
is another.....rat? I honestly can't tell WHAT species
that critter is supposed to be and frankly I'm somewhat
scared to ask. Since Knuckles himself only gets a bit
part in his own comic book, again, he's been reduced to
the role of a circus poster on the wall. "SEE! KNUCKLES
THE ECHIDNA!!" Gee, what an honour...
The confetti all over the ground IS a nice touch, though,
I'll give them that.
On to the introduction page. Well, first we have the
Chaotix standing in the same pose as in the last
issue--Charmy looking adorably real-bee-ish, Remington
looking evil, Julie-Su and Espio both looking sneaky and
suspicious, and Mighty acting WEIRD--and THEN we have the
introduction page. Behind the words we have a nice
close-up of a rather upset-looking Charmy flying for his
life, it seems (for indeed, in this issue, and pretty
much the entire trilogy, he gets to take the spotlight
more than any of the other characters), with Knuckles,
Mighty, Espio, and Vector around him, and if Julie-Su's
there I can't see her. The words leave a LOT to be
desired: the middle paragraph is a run-on sentence
consisting of no less than FIFTY SEVEN words in a ROW,
and to boot the grammar is messed up. Then the last
paragraph ends with "as they have fallen victim to an
evil villian's scheme and are suffering dearly for their
careless..."
Um...suffering for their careless? HUH? I assume they
meant "carelessNESS", but I cannot BELIEVE this actually
made it out onto the stands without being corrected at
SOME point along the line. Also, not to be nitpicky, but
"evil villian" is rather redundant. Aren't ALL villians
evil? Isn't that, like, the DEFINITION of being a
villian? Oh, well...
Anyway, now that we're done with that, let's plunge into
the story itself, which is MUCH better. We start off
still on our journey to the centre of Charmy's mind as he
has a rather illuminating and disturbing flashback.
Charmy's family is all excited--his father, who has
EXACTLY the same goatee as Locke, Knuckles' father (I
wonder if they go to the same barber?), his mother,
Sonia, and his sister, Amy Rose. No, just KIDDING, but
his sister DOES look a LOT like Amy only with different
colouring (and presumably also wings, antennae, stripes,
and a stinger, but from this angle and because she's
wearing a dress you can't see any of those things.)
Anyway, they are all excited because today is Charmy's
big day...and, oh, did I mention that his father and
mother are both wearing CROWNS?!!
Yes, that's right, our dear little Charmy is a PRINCE!
Neat, huh? In most cases I would go, "Oh, come on, a
PRINCE? Isn't that like SUCH a stupid overdone cliché?"
But in Charmy's case, it works. He's got such a
sophisticated, elegant, mannered way about him that it
makes SENSE for him to have been raised in a royal court!
Anyway, inside a lovely castle where all the walls are
hexagonal (like in a beehive--nice touch, that) Charmy's
family gathers around his bed and wakes him up--and it's
a fancy canopy bed, to boot--while his father wants to
put a super-fancy crown on his head. Evidently this is
some kind of ceremony where the Crown Prince sort of
"practices" being King in front of the people at one
point ahead of time, when he's still a kid, to sort of
make his succession "official" when the time actually
comes. I don't quite understand it. But that's not
REALLY important, what IS important is Charmy's reaction
to all of this. He looks at himself in the mirror with
this totally MISERABLE expression on his face, while his
father says he looks "Perfect! A true prince of the bee
realm!" and Charmy then takes the crown off, screams,
"NOOOOOO!!!!" at the top of his lungs and THROWS it on
the floor, smashing it.
The next part, a large two-page spread picture, just GOT
me. I don't often cry over a comic book, and I didn't
here, but I DID start sniffling a bit. As we get a
REALLY nice close-up on Charmy, crying his little eyes
out and running FRANTICALLY away, scared to death, his
mother and father are both confused and poor little Amy
(she doesn't actually have a name) starts crying too. He
yells, "LEAVE ME ALONE!! I NEVER WANTED TO BE A PRINCE
ANYWAY!!!" and you can just FEEL the desperation...
Sure, Charmy's behaviour may seem rather immature, but on
the other paw, how many of us have never wanted OUT of a
big responsibility? How many of us have never seen what
the future holds for us and tried desperately to avoid
it, or wanted to follow our OWN path instead of being
forced into one by others? You wouldn't want THAT, would
you?
So now you understand poor Charmy a bit better.
ANYway, on the next page we see Charmy crash violently
into the castle butler, a distinguished elderly bee
dressed in fine 1700s-style livery complete with a
powdered ponytailed wig and ruffles. That is, he WOULD
have been distinguished had he not looked like he was
drunk, as it is... Meanwhile, Charmy keeps hearing these
voices in his head, saying creepily, "RUN, WHY DON'T YOU?
WHY DON'T YOU RUN? RUN! RUN! RUN!!!" and scary
phantasms swirl all around him as he flies the heck out
of there. Another rather poignant bit. Lemme tell ya,
even though in real life I am SCARED to death of bees,
the way Charmy looked on pages 3 and 4, I just wanted to
HUG him SO BAD! But maybe that's just me...
Switching back to the real world, we hear the voice of
the echidna doctor who is working on Charmy, who is such
a "fighter" that he's actually fighting off the
antibiotics! He says he wants "a full transfusion,
immediately if not sooner!" and the cute little
blonde-banged echidna nurse, who ends up being one of the
FUNNIEST characters in the whole thing, runs off to do
so. In the background we can see Espio, Mighty, and
Vector all laying asleep on the hospital beds with
expressions on their faces like they're in pain, and
blankets that only partially cover them. (I must say, if
they want to keep Espio and Vector (and for that matter,
Charmy himself) warm, they had better be using ELECTRIC
blankets--normal ones won't work--they're COLD-BLOODED,
they HAVE no body heat of their own! Either that or just
crank the heat up in the room...)
Then Doctor Flat-top comes in to talk to Remington and
Julie-Su about the patients. (Julie-Su's drinking a cup
of tea in this picture was a very nice touch; food and
drink preferences are ALWAYS a good way to round out a
character. And funny--I had Julie pegged more as a
soda-pop or even booze kinda girl.) They ask if the other
Chaotix are gonna be all right, and the doctor tells them
that they brought them here JUST in time and they SHOULD
be fine. Then Julie and Rem get into his (Remington's,
duh) police car while discussing why everyone else was
fine after sleeping it off, and WHY all the people tested
had the Lemon Sundrop Dandelion (snark) in their systems
but could not REMEMBER eating anything strange! They zip
down the street in Rem's open hovercar on their way to
Happyland to look for some more clues.
Back--unfortunately--to Downtown Ebony Hare, his
lady-friend, Foxie, and his thug, Blackjack, as they
terrorise Renfield T. Rodent. Downtown does NOT want to
be KILLING people; that takes away from the market, and
he orders Renfield to cut down the amount of "special
sauce" on the chili dogs. Renfield argues that the
customer is always right and if they want more sauce,
he'll GIVE them more sauce! He then backs this up by
having that HUGE ugly sucker we saw on the
cover--although now for some reason he's red instead of
white--come into the room and loom threateningly over
Downtown and Foxie while Renfield makes all kinds of
horrible puns based off of real-life fast food slogans.
("I say let 'em have it THEIR way! Ask my pal, Ripper,
here, if you've had your break today--HE'LL make sure you
WILL!" GROAN....) However, he's NOT so tough despite his
huge appearance (the red thug, not Renfield) because
Blackjack is able to knock him down with one punch.
Well, it just goes to show...you can't get good help
anymore...or rather, ONE person can get good help if they
hurry and then everyone else has to settle for whatever's
left over. ANYway, Downtown then grabs Renfield by the
collar and rather slangily, through gritted teeth,
repeats his orders to USE LESS SAUCE...and we switch back
to our Lemon Sundrop-induced flashback in Charmy's
mind.
Here we see his girlfriend, a LOVELY bee-lady named
Saffron. She is SO pretty, with her long, flowing blue
(!) hair and her huge long-lashed lilac purple eyes. If
you ask me, Charmy is an IDIOT for just brushing her off
the way he does here! Not to mention she's NICE,
too--she keeps desperately begging him to tell her what's
wrong, she only wants to HELP!--but he uncaringly buzzes
right away from her, thinking only, "What a nudge!" He's
still in his "I want to be ALONE!!" mood so of COURSE his
buddy Mello has to LAND on him. (That's gotta take some
aiming--to land on a bee RIGHT between the wings, so you
don't smush 'em and cause him to crash, and the stinger,
so you don't HURT yourself on the way down!) I thought
this was a rather ODD way to say hello, but it's better
than Mello's actual words: "Charms, m'budsman, how's it
flyin?" Shudder... Charmy tells him that today is his
"acknowledgement ceremony" (so THAT'S what that was) and
complains, "Nobody ASKS me if THIS is what I want! I'm
just expected to go along!" Mello sympathises with him
(and I'll say it again, LOVE the scarf. You don't
realise how snazzy it looks until you see him wearing it
while he's actually FLYING.) and Charmy says he needs to
fly solo for a while. He's gonna find a place where his
parents will never find him...
The Floating Island!
A-HA! Cue Important Music here...
Then we get a monologue from inside Charmy's mind as he
uncertainly approaches the Island. "The Floating Island.
You've seen it fly overhead many times. You've often
wondered about that fabled land soaring through the
skies. And now...now you're rushing to experience its
wonders. Reality is about to replace fantasy. If you're
going to escape your responsibilities--why not hide out
where your parents would never suspect? No reason not to
make new friends."
And as for those new friends--we see a VERY familiar
figure from the back, dangling his feet in a beautiful
forest stream. It's MIGHTY!! Charmy is now starting to
become part of the group. I loved this bit, it was SO
adorable, and I'd really like to see more of how the
Chaotix all first met each other and what/where they came
from, etc, but I suppose that's just a dream, huh?
Anyway, Charmy must be in his flight-mode size (although
I don't REMEMBER seeing him shrink) because Mighty
complains that he can HEAR him but not SEE him. When
Charmy finally flies right in front of Mighty's face, he
exclaims delightedly that he has NEVER seen anyone like
THAT before, and introduces himself: "My name is Mighty,
the Armadillo--"
SWITCHING BACK TO REAL-TIME
"--and I wish someone would stop the ringing in my head!"
says our shelled friend as he wakes up, bleary-eyed and
woozy, in the hospital. He says he feels so weak and
needs to "get the blood circulating" while the rather
flustered blonde-banged nurse tells him to get back into
bed. We then briefly cut away to Doctor Flat-top, who is
trying to decide how to handle the patients. Just as he
has decided he needs to be ready for ANYTHING, he comes
back into the room to see one of the "poor, sick, weak"
patients, Mighty, HOLDING his own hospital bed over his
HEAD with ONE ARM while the nurse is ON it!! (The bed,
not the arm.) She has this absolutely PRICELESS scared
look on her face as Mighty cannot RESIST the opportunity
to quote Bugs Bunny: "Saaayy...what's up, doc?"
GROAN...
Back to Renfield and company as Downtown calls him a
"homeboy" (ack) who is too smart for his own good.
Renfield says he's being signaled and that "they" have
trouble. "No, YOU have trouble, deal with it!" says
Downtown and stomps out of there. What is the
trouble?
Well, Cecil the Weasel, their operative who runs the
chili dog stand at Happyland, has spotted Constable
Remington and Julie-Su. Remmy tries to ask the guy some
questions when Renfield comes RUNNING up frantically,
trying to look happy and relaxed while sweating like a
pig, and gives them the Happyland sales pitch. Remmy and
Julie admit that it does SEEM as if no-one's sick at the
moment, but prefer to keep looking around. Back to
Downtown, as we see that he's watching all of this on his
monitor and tells Blackjack to make sure that, as soon as
everything's set up correctly, Renfield doesn't see
tomorrow...
And speaking of watching people on monitors, back to
Haven again, where Locke and Saber are watching Knuckles
take on the source of the bright lights and loud noises
he was bothered by in the last issue--BIKER BEARS?!
Excuse me? Oh, yeah, like THAT'S scary! Anyway, Knux
twirls around and puts on quite a show, soon getting rid
of ALL of them. He collapses to the ground for a second,
then waves his fists in a victory pose while the two
other Guardians totally FREAK about his newfound powers,
and how they're growing so fast. Locke says that
Archimedes can teach Knuckles how to harness his new
abilities, but Sabre says, basically,
"Uh...hello...Mobius to Locke...he's YOUR SON, you
dimwit, don't you think this should be YOUR
responsibility?"
And we're back to the hospital, where now Vector is
finishing the running gag with the nurse that was set up
earlier by Mighty. I know this type of humour has been
done before, but I just thought it was SO FUNNY! The
first time I read this, I couldn't stop laughing for some
reason. Vector wakes up, feeling bleary and miserable
("like my skull wants to bust outta my head!") and the
nurse, startled, says, "Not ANOTHER one!" Vector,
confused, stretches and does a GREAT, BIG, HUGE yawn,
showing ALLLLLLLL of his long, pointy, curved, sharp
teeth, then looks RIGHT at the nurse while asking her if
there's anything to eat around here.
Right. :)
The nurse then decides she's had ENOUGH and goes RUNNING
out of the room muttering to herself along the lines of
"Get me AWAY from all these weirdos!!" and screams for
the doctor. Vector then wonders what HER problem is--and
turns around to notice Charmy, struggling and kicking and
thrashing around in great pain, with his covers kicked
almost all the way off. Poor little guy...the doctor
then comes in and is evidently preparing to wheel Charmy
off to surgery. Eeek...
We then have a brief interlude with Harry in his cab and
General Buzzcut--I mean, Stryker--who drops by to tell
him that he's not in a bad enough mood for a dingo, so he
thought he'd just yell at him to make sure he was. The
scene ends with Harry muttering that Stryker needs more
fiber in his diet as the snarling general walks away.
Then back to Dudley and Julie-Locks as they decide to
question...um...Harry? Oh, yeah, sure, when I need
information about the underground the very FIRST person I
ask is a cab driver. Huh? Anyway, they play good cop
and bad cop with him...no, wait, only bad cop--and
Remington eventually manages to cut a deal with Harry to
find out where the criminals are.
Cut to Downtown, who is talking on his cell-phone in his
white tailfinned limo and hears about how "Some babe"
wants to make a business deal with him before they're
ready, eh? He rightfully thinks that sounds rather
suspicious--obnoxious he may be, but he's not a totally
STUPID villian--and tells his associates to keep Julie-Su
"on ice" until he gets there. Then we see that Remington
is watching all of this through a snazzy pair of goggles
of some kind and that he's agreed to waive Harry's unpaid
parking tickets in exchange for his help.
I must take a moment to note here that...Julie-Su and
Remington make a GREAT team! No, all you "Knux & Julie"
fans, don't get your dreadlocks in a knot, I'm NOT saying
they make a good COUPLE (although, if this was acted out
instead of a flat book, I'd say the two actors have
"chemistry"--they REALLY do!), I mean they WORK well
together. They make a terrific partnership! An officer
of the law and a woman who used to belong to an evil
organisation that almost wiped out the entire echidna
civilisation once--who woulda' thunk it? I think it
would be cool if Julie-Su actually became a full-time
cop! Wouldn't that be NEAT? To have someone who SCARES
the beejeebers out of people being one of the actual
authorities? Heh heh. You could just cut the irony with
a KNIFE if that happened. :) And now back to your
regularly scheduled commercials...
Meanwhile Julie-Su, who is, of course, the "babe who
wants to deal", is...blindfolded? "Hey, guys! This
isn't any way to conduct business!" she calls,
understandably freaked. Downtown and Blackjack then come
stomping in and threaten her while saying that they're
suspicious of her set-up. She tries to get up and walk
away but Downtown SLAMS her back into the chair so she
and Blackjack could have a "pleasant conversation".
Constable Remington suddenly can't get Julie's signal
anymore. He's worried about her, and with good
reason...
...the bad guys just THREW HER OFF THE ROOF OF THE
BUILDING!!!
And if you wanna know how she gets outta this, read the
review of the third part! BWAHAHA!!
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curious
tourists have attemtped to solve the mystery of the
Happyland drug problem since June 30, 1999...and we
TOSSED all their butts straight off the roof! HA!