Knuckles the Echidna Volume 15
"The Chaotix Caper, Part Three: Picking up the Pieces"
Reviewed by Chaos Theory T. Echidna, July 2, 1999.
Okay, let's start with the cover again. This is my least favourite out of the three--it's cluttered, and it's sloppy. For one thing, Julie-Su is in two places at once! (some of her hair from the previous cover can be seen on the far left side of this one--looks like a giant spiky pink monster is lurking outside the circus tent to GET Vector as he comes peeking out, or something.) and then she's ALSO in the air, where she's either doing a very strange wave as she rides on her....um....WHATEVER that is...or trying to flip us off but failing 'cos she doesn't have enough fingers! The picture is cluttered--it seems to have taken the old Victorian-era saying, "Nature abhors a vacuum" far too much to heart, as EVERY single inch of space is covered with something. For example, I don't know WHAT'S up with the bee swarm, as, even though this issue does have quite a bit to do with bees, they NEVER came flying over the hill to the rescue/attack like that! Behind them you can see a structure which we will later learn is the Golden Hive, Charmy's homeland, and standing at the gates is Charmy himself, wearing an elegant flowing purple cloak lined with fur, a pair of high red boots (oooh...MUCH better than his normal stuff!) and....a CROWN?!! Yep. Well, you saw that coming in the last issue BUT it still whaps you upside the head to actually SEE it. Then we have Mighty with a weird expression on his face in front of him, and then in front of all of THAT is Vector, coming out of a purple circus tent with a nasty SNARL. (Actually, I think Vec is probably one of the biggest visual strong points of this picture.) But by FAR the picture is dominated by Knuckles himself, who finally gets a part in his own comic book BUT...get this!--he's STILL not part of the actual happenings of the story with the Chaotix! At NO point does his story intercept theirs! Anyway, I think Knux himself is unfortunately the biggest weakness of this picture. His nose looks goofy, his fist is HUUUUUUUUGE to the point of looking deformed or something, and he's got that ANNOYING sideways-mouth thing that always disturbs me so. I don't know why, it just does. Anyway, let's open the book and move along now...
Same group picture as before...I STILL wanna know why Mighty's holding onto his ear...but I guess there are some things it's best not to ask...let's move along to the intro page.
Now, while this intro page is MUCH better-written than the previous one, with its horrible grammar mistakes, my problem with it is that it does not sound like something from the END of a trilogy, but rather a blurb to get you interested in the BEGINNING. It sounds like they could have put this at the very start of the first volume; like they RECYCLED the one from the first volume! (It's NOT the same word-for-word but it sounds like that.) For example, I think we've seen enough of Julie-Su working with the others by now to have her loyalties not be so "uncertain" anymore, and I think we've already figured OUT that the "routine assignment" has taken a "turn for the worse"...it should have been more specific and less vague. (The picture behind it seems to show the various Chaotix members battling it out with the various bad guys, but I can't see it too clearly.)
Now onto the first page of the story itself. We now have a scene where the echidna doctors (and the hapless blonde-banged nurse, who evidently has NOT run off screaming to join a funny farm after all) are operating on someone, seen from the patient's point of view, looking straight up into their faces as they loom overhead. (I use the phrase "from the patient's point of view" loosely--'cos I sure HOPE the poor little guy was ASLEEP for this!) Let me warn you right now--do NOT eat anything while reading this comic book. It's rather graphic for a little kiddie comic about cute fuzzy animals, what with the purple (!) blood SPLASHING up onto the doctor's face and all! He gives us this speech about how if you want a good doctor you have to pay for it (nice guy, huh?) then calmly excuses himself so he can "go throw up!" Oh, and before he leaves, he casually tells the other doctor, "You can close up Charmy now!"
EEEK! Poor guy...one quibble, though. (Well, besides the doctor's little speech, that is.) The purple blood was a nice alien touch BUT shouldn't it have been YELLOW, as in, you know, insect blood? Still...
And now we're back to poor Julie-Su, who is having a rather nasty day of her own! She is, as you may recall from the end of the last issue, taking the plunge off the side of a building! I like this picture, it's a gorgeous two-page spread with pretty lighting and great details--such as a clock that tells you it's now 1:00 in the morning, and a crescent moon. Julie-Su herself is especially well-drawn, with the shading on her eyes and that cool purple stuff on the ends of her bang-dreadlocks/head-spines/whatever-those-are's. She yells, AS she's falling, "Can't we talk this OVEEERRRRRRR...." Um....uh....
Downtown then takes his flunkies and leaves the roof, but not before offering this rather gross little line: "As for our falling friend...just be careful where you STEP when you reach the street level!" Eew....again, don't eat anything during the early part of this book...
She then shows us that she must do her clothes-shopping at the same place Batman does, because hidden inside her boot is--TA-DA!!--a grappling gun! She uses it to hook onto the side of the building and slow her fall. (The shot where she's falling STRAIGHT down on page four, with her little pointy nose heading right for the bottom of the page and her bootsies pointing right at the top, is really cute for some reason.) However, she's still got quite a bit of momentum, so she WHAMS in through a plate glass window into someone's apartment (and remember, it's 1 in the morning), startling them half to death. (Never mind THAT; how on Mobius did she SURVIVE whamming her face into that window with no shielding? It should have broken every bone in her body AND lacerated her to death with glass shard cuts! And yet she's not even bleeding the slightest bit! I know, I know, she's a comic book character...) "ACCCKKK!! BIMMY!!!" cries an understandably scared older echidna lady (with curlers in her head-spines, LOVED that!) "THERE'S A STRANGER IN OUR BED!!"
"No there's not," says Julie-Su reasonably as she crawls ACROSS THEIR BED. "You're just having a bad dream. Go back to sleep." I LOVED this part! Not only was it funny, but it was a nice little slice of life. It showed us some ordinary echidna people who aren't great heroes or villians or whatever; just a quiet older couple in their little apartment. Nice. I like ANYTHING that makes a place-setting seem more real and living and detailed; it's scenes like this when, put alongside the dark "underworld" stuff, made me decide I LIKED Echidnaopolis. But I STILL reserve the right to hate that name.
Out in the hallway of the building, she is grabbed by Constable Remington and he shows her a safer way out of the building--HIS way only has ONE thug to deal with (which he does, by clobbering the guy over the head with his fists) and they make it out the door just in time to catch Harry and say that classic line, "Follow that car!"
I've said it once, I'll say it again: Julie and Remmy make A WONDERFUL TEAM!!! I don't know what it is, but they just seem to have real "chemistry" to me. And no, I don't mean romantically, I mean like when two actors in a T.V. or movie "spark each other off"--when the acting of one causes the other to do better, and seem more real, more emotional, and more "into" what they're doing than they normally would; when two personalities feed off each other and make each other seem more interesting. THAT kind of chemistry. Yeah, I know it's odd to say that about a flat comic book where there IS no "acting" but I swear that's the impression I got the first time I read this trilogy and every time I re-read it, it just keeps getting stronger. While in the cab, the two speculate on where they might be going and Remington surmises that their unexpected appearance might have spooked Downtown and his group into moving things along faster than normal.
Of course, this is our cue to go back to Downtown himself again now. He is with "Foxie" (okay, HE spells it "Foxy" but I like MY way better, nyah.) in his limo and he tells the "Professor" to shut EVERYTHING down and prepare to move out! They'll continue after they've laid low for a while. Then the white tailfinned limo pulls up at a factory named "Axis" which has a picture of an Ace of Spades as its logo and we cut back to the Chaotix in the hospital.
First of all, though it's nothing important to the plot, I kinda wanna know why the blonde-banged nurse has this extremely sad look on her face as she looks down at two other echidnas. Looks as if she's got the unpleasant task of telling someone their relative just died or something! (sniff.) Okay, okay, it's just a throwaway picture, but dangit, I LIKE that little nurse, so I notice what she's doing, and if I ever write a comic-book-universe story I'm gonna give her a name and a part! Anyway, we also have an old toothless man echidna come shuffling by with a cane and fuzzy slippers (another nice "real-life", "humanising" touch) while Mighty, looking very short and fat (and kinda cute) tells us that Charmy's gonna pull through and asks where Espio is. Vector couldn't care less, he's MUCH more interested in getting a tune on his radio. This may seem like mere obnoxiousness and/or stupidity at first but it proves useful by the end of this scene. Mighty argues with him a bit while Vector shakes his walkman and threatens to beat it up, then Espio "decloaks" from where he's been casually lying ON the wall and says he was just sick of waiting for Vector. Then Vector announces that "the music has just kicked in!"--but "tunes" it ain't--he's managed to tune into the police band! Now, if you read Dan Drazen's review of this, he seems to think that Vector found the police band by some miraculous accident. But I don't think so--if you actually READ the lines here, it seems rather obvious to me that Vector knew all along his radio was a special, magical type one (well, why not? I mean, it's his only special item, and he takes it EVERYWHERE; gotta be useful for SOMEthing!) and was DELIBERATELY looking for the police band, knowing he would find it if he tried hard enough. So in other words, rather than bad writing and a goofy Vector, it's reasonable writing and a SMART Vector. I like mine better. Anyway, they all run off down the street, following the signal to where "Dudley Do-Right and Julie-Locks are goin' medieval in the Southtowns!"
Meanwhile, back to Dudley and Julie, as they climb in through a window at the "Axis" factory and whallop a so-called "guard" who is busy watching soccer (really) and then use Julie's "wonderful toy" (SORRY, I just HAD to say that at least once!!) to climb hand-over-hand to the roof of the next building. This is a hilarious scene--the two dingo guards are standing there going, "Wow, this is boring, I'm gonna fall asleep any second now!" while RIGHT BEHIND THEM, these two little figures are zooming across the rope, silhoutted nicely by the moonlight...uh, one thing--HOW DID THE MOON GET FULL SO FAST?!! I just now realised that! It was a crescent, now it's full, in the same night?! Maybe Mobius has more than one moon? I dunno...
Anyway, they then sneak onto the balcony above a little drama where the Professor is going on and on about how they've almost completed the process and it's really potent stuff, and WHY does Downtown wanna shut it down now when he's almost done, huh? Can't he keep working, please, huh, can't he? Downtown of course will have none of this and tells him to shut down, and shut down, NOW.
AND we're back to the Chaotix again--without Charmy, who is presumably still recovering at the hospital.
"You SURE you heard REMINGTON broadcasting from around here?!" demands the incredulous Mighty of Vector. Vec assures him that he did, and then a cab comes along--HARRY'S cab, of COURSE. I think his last name should be "convenient" or something like that. Just to show them all what a nice guy he is, he pulls a GUN on them, then tells them that he drove Julie and Remmy to that factory. (You think I'm kidding about the gun, but I'm not. Chaos Theory "is NOT making this up.") Espio decides to "cloak" again to go scope the place out, with Vec and Mighty close behind. Harry's last words to them are a paraphrase of that famous "Hill Street Blues" quote: "Just be CAREFUL in there!" (instead of OUT there.) I must say, Espio's "cloaking" special effect is kinda freaky looking. He starts to kind of...disentegrate...he doesn't go transparent or fade all at once, instead PIECES of him here and there start to disappear and dissolve...eeeww...rather disturbing! Creative, but disturbing.
And we're back to Downtown and his buddies as Max, the Professor's name, keeps begging to finish his work and just as Downtown tells Blackjack to shut down the works, they hear something and know someone else is there. This of COURSE causes Downtown to start rather cornily spraying the area with bullets but not a single one of them hits Constable Remington, who pops out and WHAMS Blackjack over the head with a two-by-four.
This does nothing more, however, than give Blackjack a bad hair day, and he crashes Remington into a stack of boxes just by FLICKING him with his finger! (Eek! Poor Remmy!) Then Downtown does ANOTHER rather heavy bit of horrible acting and corny lines as Julie-Su swings down using her wonderful toy again (okay, okay, it's called a grappling gun) and lands on him. "But I saw you DIE!!!" the understandably freaked Downtown yells, and starts spraying even MORE bullets at her. Of course, they all miss (hey, this is the lady who survived smashing face-first into a plate-glass window earlier, remember?) and just as he's got her trapped in a corner and is about to REALLY make her day, what should happen but that his gun be grabbed by...nothing!
Or rather, not nothing, but Espio, who was of course invisible all this time (and on the ceiling--I THINK). He then makes a nice insult to Downtown and Julie punches his clock (Downtown's, not Espio's) but good with her bionic arm. They both rush over to save Remington, who is about to be beaten even sillier by Blackjack, but Mighty has gotten there first and THROWS the gigantic bulldog thug into a wall with one hand while making a rather cheesy comment. (Mighty seems to be doing that a LOT lately, what with his "Say...what's up, doc?" of the last issue as well...) Then we get a nice close-up of Foxie as she actually gets to TALK for the first time--and we discover she's got a Brooklyn "Nyew Yawk" accent! She's also...and I kid you not...wearing a GARTER BELT with her fishnet stockings, low-cut dress, and spike-heeled shoes! Wow, they really went ALL out for her "trampy" image, didn't they? However, she is stopped by a hand on her arm and a pair of really creepy eyes staring at her out of the dark that turn out to belong to "Homeboy" Vector--"I don't THINK so! Vector don't PLAY that!" (I SWEAR he actually SAID that!! ACK! One overdone campy accent caught by another! "Lemme go, ya JOIK!" "Joik?!" Ack...)
And then the group is together and all right again outside the building as the bad guys are taken away by the EST (what DOES that stand for, anyway? Echidna Security something...Team?!) and they wrap up everything and say that everything's gonna be okay...except that we still have to deal with Renfield T. Rodent and his Happyland Chili-Dog Stand, as Remington reminds us. Renfield at first complains that "sales will nose-dive without the sauce!" but when Remmy threatens to arrest him too, changes his tune in a hurry.
And NOW back to Haven, or Voyeurs 'R' Us, as Locke and Sabre are still totally freaking out over Knuckles' new powers. Then Knuckles somehow either CREATES, or CALLS, I'm not sure which, some kind of glowing yellow transparent tunnel, which he of COURSE steps into and it goes BOOM!!
To find out where it took him, read Knux #16...which unfortunately I do not have so I can't review it. Back to V.R.U., as the two Guardians continue to flip out and decide they need to discuss this new "problem" in front of the whole Brotherhood of Guardians.
And we're BACK, ladies and gentlemen, to the REAL story--as a Star Trek: The Next Generation shuttlecraft (I SWEAR that's what it is, it looks EXACTLY LIKE ONE!! They did not modify it AT ALL except to paint "EST" on the side!!) lands on the ground on Mobius at...the Golden Hive.
And now it's time to get out your hankies or Kleenex, folks, 'cos you're gonna need them in just a bit. Now we say goodbye--to more than one person...
First of all, I must say that I like the Golden Hive. It truly looks like a mix between a fairy-tale castle and a beehive! It also reminds me of one of those old-fashioned super-fancy glass Christmas tree ornaments. Charmy staggers off the shuttlecraft, woozy and bandaged all around his middle (ouch) but otherwise fine, and the other four Chaotix members carry Mello's funeral casket with REALLY sad looks on their faces. Oh, dear...
Charmy then reunites with his family, and it's a touching scene, though I want to know why he's standing so far AWAY from his mom as he hugs her. Is this some kind of "keep a stiff upper lip" type thing, where upper-class people aren't supposed to show too much emotion in front of the peasants? Anyway, it's still a very touching scene...and it ain't over YET, by a long shot, as he walks towards two grieving bees in farmers' clothing who you realise must be Mello's parents, to give them the bad news about their son.
And now the funeral scene. Excuse me while I totally loose it now, and I WON'T get "it" back until I'm well done reading the comic and it's been put away for at least a few minutes, because from here on in, it just gets SO SAD. SNIFF!! I don't normally act this way for a comic book but this part just GETS me, and gets me GOOD.
As all the bee-people that knew him best--Charmy and his family, mixed with Mello's parents and...sister, I guess? and the butler all gather around Mello's casket as it lays in the ground to pay their last respects, Charmy gives us a very poignant monologue, which I am going to repeat here verbatim:
"Mello had joined me in my great adventure, and it was the least I could do to bring him home. After hearing what happened, his parents may have forgiven me, but it would be a long time before I could. My best friend and I would never share the sun ever again." (SNIFF!!!) "But he would be in my heart always." And he tosses one last perfect pink rose onto the casket. Oh, geez...excuse me while I loose it again...
"As would the friends who came to mean so much to me."
WAIT a minute...he's talking about the other Chaotix--what does he mean they'll "be in his heart"? Is he leaving or something? NOOOOO!!!!
Unfortunately, yes, he is leaving for good (sniff!) as Ken Penders, "bless" his soul, decided to WRITE HIM OUT OF THE COMIC!! Okay, at least it was done classily--he didn't die or anything, in fact he got to be a Prince, AND he got to basically star in a whole trilogy, or at least be the emotional focus of it by far before he left, AND it's a lovely goodbye scene. Still...SPEAKING of taking a long time to forgive somebody...
He then says goodbye to everybody and tells them that after tomorrow, it'll be for forever! (WHAAAAHH!!) and the look on his face just GETS me. Julie-Su offers a word of comfort that is probably just empty words "It's not forever, Charmy! Who knows what the future will bring?" and they all watch him walk through the gates of the castle with a heavy heart. And I'm sorry, but I thought that Espio's insult to Vector here was in VERY bad taste. It was totally unnecessary, just plain MEAN, and it completely spoiled the mood.
And now we have the last page of the comic, and the trilogy--and a big spread showing Charmy in his Prince's costume (although it's nowhere near as elegant and dashing as the one he's wearing on the cover), evidently accepting his role as future leader of his people after all, while his proud family stands around him and beams and the other Chaotix--or should I say, JUST "the Chaotix" as he's no longer a member!--wave and clap and cheer and whistle to show their support for their leaving friend. (One problem--and it's a large one--WHERE'S KNUCKLES?!! Okay, I know he is busy going around in an exploding yellow tunnel and all that but he's DEFINITELY part of the original group, he should have been there to say goodbye too!) Also notice that, while Charmy is in the CENTRE of this picture, Julie-Su is in the FRONT. That's because he was written out SPECIFICALLY so they could bring her IN! Into the Chaotix, I mean, not into the comic book itself; she's been THERE since issue #4. Now, I have nothing against Julie-Su and in fact think a female Chaotix member is an awesome idea, but...why couldn't we have just kept BOTH, why? Five people instead of four isn't that much of a burden! This trilogy proved it! It used all five characters well and they worked well together to make a good plot! I'd also like to point out here that it sure is CONVENIENT that the bees have that size-changing ability--or else there is no way all his friends could have FIT into the throne room for this scene...
And we get another nice monologue from inside Charmy's mind:
"I had left home not wanting to grow up, only to learn that I had no choice in the matter. I thought I would always have fun with my friends, and found in my family something more meaningful instead."
"Funny how things work out in the end."
Take a good, long look at this picture, everybody.
It's the VERY VERY last time you will EVER see all the Chaotix together, ever again.
As far as I KNOW, anyway...
Goodbye, Charmy. You'll make a great king someday. May the light shine upon you (as they say in Dragon Warrior) and the wind be always at your back.
Now kindly excuse me while I look for a new box of Kleenex...
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curious tourists have wanted to know how the Chaotix Caper turned out since July 2, 1999. And the ones who laughed at the author of this review for getting so emotional over it were beaten up severely by Blackjack.