Lair of the Unidragon, Page Forty-Eight
"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to grace us with his presence," rings out a sarcastic falsetto voice. The Unidragon slithers toward you on two dragon-claws, and two unicorn-hooves. He is a grotesque mix of different fantastical creatures--and has the worst qualities of all of them. "I shall tend to you shortly, Questor, but first, your precious Princess Zenith is breakfast."
You snort. Precious? Your eye wanders to the back of the cave, where the hulking form of Princess Zenith sits. Your gaze covers her fat, furry body, her ugly, smashed-in-seeming face, her dirty, stringy hair--precious? Princess Zenith is an Ogress--literally. Considered the height of beauty by other ogres, but extremely not your type.
Meanwhile, the Unidragon has lunged for her, his scorpion tail poised to sting. Oh, no, you don't, you think. You're not taking away my fee THAT easily--and chop off his tail.
The entire thing. You stare down at the Goldensword in amazement--the tail was armoured, yet it felt as if you were slicing through butter.
The Unidragon shrieks as sticky greenish-black fluid begins to ooze from the wound, and whirls around to face you. "All right!" he shrills, his voice sounding like fingernails on a blackboard. "You asked for it!" He lunges back his long, black neck and spits fire. You roll out of the way and then notice something--the fire didn't burn out when it hit the dirt floor of the cave--it's somehow using the dirt itself for fuel! Oh, boy...
The Unidragon goes for you again, snaking a furry tiger's paw foreward. It lacerates your shield, then goes for you again. You pull the tatters of your now-useless shield off your arm just in time and leap forward to stab him in the foot.
He shrieks again, the drops of blood budding and hissing where they strike the cave floor.
The flames are leaping higher and higer, making an almost complete wall of fire between you and the Unidragon--but HE can cross it just fine. A heavy horse's hoof clonks you on the head, and dazed, you fall backwards, (AWAY from the fire) and watch, as if in a dream, as the Unidragon raises his heavy foot to stomp your brains to jelly.
"Hey!" bellows a gruff voice at the back of the cave. You blink for a moment and then realise it's Princess Zenith. "You can't do that to him! You're not fighting fair!" She punches the Unidragon in the back as hard as she can. And Ogres, whether male or female, can REALLY punch.
Angry, he whips about to face her, clearly wondering where this other adversary suddenly came from. Not terribly bright, is he, you think, taking advantage of the distraction to leap up onto his back and plunge the Goldensword into his neck, feeling it slice through scales, fur, flesh, tendon, bone and vital organs with equal ease. His ugly head rolls on the floor, the five motley eyes still glassily open.
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