The Empty Grave of Edgar Allan Poe

IN MEMORIAM

          She was one of us, that’s all I can say. I still don’t believe it. England’s Rose won’t tread on our nation’s pastures green ever again, although Her memory will never die, of that I’m sure. Like I say, She was one of us. May She rest in peace and may William and Harry, God bless them, carry on their Mother’s great work of helping the less fortunate amongst us. That was Her legacy, that compassion for Her fellow men, and women of course, that tenderness of feeling and great good will that shone out of Her being and gave Her the look of a very saint, like the Madonna herself, that’s the mother of Jesus and not the popular singer, bit of a tart she is. But Diana was truly blessed by the spirit of the Lord and that is why he sent Her down here to do Her good works and spread peace and joy wherever She walked. Not that Her husband appreciated Her of course, foul-mouthed bastard that he is, but he’s one of them, She was one of us, that’s the difference. I used to be all for the monarchy but now I’m not so sure. Something has definitely gone wrong somewhere, something to do with the genes probably, so now it’s time for a change. Put William on the throne and let him carry on his Mother`s good works, that’s what I say. That way we still have tradition and continuity with the past and all what made this island great, but at the same time we have a king what we can look up to and admire, just like his Mother. His poor sainted Mother, Whose Body now lies in the earth but Whose Soul is up there with Jesus, sat on his right hand, I’m sure.

          I couldn’t believe it when I first heard the news. I’d just come down and switched telly on for the weather,  see if it was worth getting the motor out, and I just stood there, stunned. I called the wife and she came in and we just stood there, stunned. We couldn’t believe it. We sat and watched it all day and my wife was in tears and I had keep the upper lip stiff but there were times when I felt myself going, it was just too terrible to behold, news of this nature. We had no Sunday dinner that day, I’ll tell you, it was sandwiches on the sofa and cups of tea to keep up the strength. At first we blamed the paperatzis, like we was told it was their fault, but then later we heard  about  the  driver and  his drinking habits and drugs and the like, plus he was French and they haven’t got the knack of driving like us Brits. If you’ve ever been Paris, like I have, you’ll get me drift. Anyway that was all to come. Sunday we sat there stunned. Monday I got out the motor and cut a few blooms, not just chrissies either but me best roses, for She was England’s Rose after all, and we went down London and stood in the queue and laid the flowers and signed the book and shed many more tears. It was a week and a half that one, waiting for the great day  of  the  funeral.  We  didn’t  do much of anything. Watched the wildlife programmes on the telly and tried make sense of it all. The wife took comfort from the fact that Her final days had been happy ones, She’d had a nice holiday with Dodi and had a nice break from visiting hospitals and them landmine countries. And what better way to go than after a nice day out in Paris and a good meal in a posh hotel? That’s what we’d all choose if we got the chance. There again, even in Her way of passing, She was one of us.

          We went the funeral of course. Couldn’t get near the Abbey but we watched it on the big tellies and I’d set the video so we could enjoy it all again when we got home. I must admit, when Elton John sang his song I couldn’t hold the tears back. I had to weep with the rest of us in the park. I’d brought some more flowers down and the wife said I should lay them under the big tellies but I wanted do something more personal. Hearses don’t go that fast, so I grabbed the wife and told her shift herself and we made a mad dash, then pushed our way to the front of the crowd and as the car bearing the body of England’s  Rose went slowly past, I chucked me bouquet and it landed on the roof. Even though the tears were still pouring from my eyes, I felt a little glow of pride in my heart for my expert marksmanship and I knew She would have appreciated my skill. I must say that was the proudest moment of my life and I have Her to thank for it.

          Now She rests on an island in a lake in Her childhood home. She will be happy there I am sure of it, for now She no longer has to fear them as wants take pictures of Her with not many clothes  on and  She does  not have to suffer the slings and arrows of all them sick people asking Her to help them and She does not have to have dealings with the Queen again or any of that household that caused Her so much misery. She is at peace now, happy in heaven with Her one true love, Dodi. She was never meant to be the Queen, for She was just an ordinary person like you and me. She believed in the fairy tales about falling in love with princes and everything being happy ever after, but that isn’t real life. In real life you have to search around for the true prince of your heart and he may be a frog or he may even be an Arab, but never fear, if you look long enough you will find him, just as She did in the end. That’s the only comforting thing I can say at this point. We’ve bought all the memorial papers and magazines and we’re thinking of erecting a shrine in the pond in the garden, something simple, a little island rockery with some plants and a statue, if we can find one. Other than that we’re just waiting for the photos of the funeral come back from the chemist so we can have a look at them. I didn’t do the timer right on the video, so when we  got  home and settled  down  to watch it there were just some animals doing things to each other. Still, I dare say they’ll repeat it soon, or else they’ll bring out a special edition with extra bits and we can buy that. The wife cut a picture out of one of the papers and I made a frame and hung it over the mantelpiece and I put fresh flowers under it and change them regular. And I’ll tell you something else. I’ve suffered from a bad back for years now but since I put Her picture up, the last thing I do at night after locking up is get down on my knees and say a little prayer, and do you  know, my  back  hasn’t been hurting half as much as it used to. She’ll be declared a saint soon, you mark my words, all the good She did when She was with us and Now all the miracles She’s doing from Her new home in heaven. But I ask you to never forget this one thing, even when She gets Her due reward and proper title that only God can bestow, never forget that once upon a time She was just an ordinary girl, just a normal person, like you and me. She was one of us. One of us. That’s all I wanted to say. She was one of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us.