The ElfQuiz Parody: The Revisionist History: Take-a-Look 3: Curtains for Glue Fountain

Chapter 4: Let the GAME Begin

Several minutes after Strongbow's departure, the dust settled. Those who had risen up in rebellion against Moonshade were pleased at their victory, but were restrained from making any sort of hullabullo about it. And to those who had been deserted by their leader, Cutter made a rare agreement with Foxfur, which ensured that no one would take revenge on either side... for the time being.

And Dewshine came back, the very next hour. Strolling in casually, whistling a happy tune, and smiling honestly, she walked into the room and took a seat in the middle of the room - the same room where there had been the catfight just a little while ago.

"How curious," Nightfall said to Treestump, as they sat around, waiting for something to happen, "She just walks on in... totally different from before. Something's missing here, if you ask me." Tapping her left foot against the rocky ground, the huntress tried to recall what Dewshine had been doing the last time she saw her.

Treestump, always ready to make his profound observations, said, "I agree. And I believe that the thing is the non-sequitur."

The Non-Sequitur Will Take Over The World

Shaking her head in dismay, Nightfall said sarcastically, "You can't be serious, Treestump. That *thing*?"

bubbles happy bubbles

Suddenly entering in on their conversation, Cutter said, "I don't trust it much either. But, for now, it's all we have to go on with." His voice was loud and strong strong very strong powerful

A wave of nostalgia swept over Treestump, tossing him upon the shoreline of misery and doubt. "Yes..." he said, gasping like a landed fish, "The non-sequitur is always good!"

***
The GAME had started way back when Winnowill went sane. No one remembers exactly what happened that day. Some say she took a Trip to the Underworld, but those people tended to talk a lot about Mythic Heroes. Others, including but not limited to Lord Voll, simply ignored it and walked away. But ever since Winnowill had begun the GAME, she had passed it on to many others. Tyldak had caught the fever, as had Door, Fedoor, Braces, Weird Egg, the half-troll Two-Edge, and now his lesser-known twin brother Guttlebutt.

Now, the fun and excitement of the GAME was to be known by Skywise. He wouldn't be very happy about it.

Winnowill and Tyldak were walking together in the halls of Glue Fountain. The anti-healer had finished her little business with Tabak, and the winged one had just completed his little... business with Dewshine. Though the two of them were casually bantering like all good villains must, they looked around the place enough to find that Skywise and Aroree were joining together in a corner. As the supposedly evil ones stared at them, their eyes bugging open, Aroree said in her annoyingly twangy voice, "Good day... it's a fine one, is it not?"

Zzzap!

As Skywise and Aroree both held their heads in agony, Winnowill said haughtily, "That's for misbehaving. I may be nice, but there is to be *no* joining on the floor!" Laughing loudly, she began to walk off in the opposite direction.

Tyldak, finding his tolerance for evilness dissipating, sighed. He had a secret to keep, and the business was difficult. The way he worked it out was through subtlety, distractions, and psychological maneuvering. He mentioned to Winnowill, "Uh, Winnoie, dear friend of mine, I think the... Wolfriders are currently going to a banquet in the Middle of Somewhere Hall. I'd better be going - Voll and Reevol are expecting me there... what?" he asked, noticing that the anti-healer was glaring at him.

**I'm afraid not,** Winnowill sent to him, **You will attend it when I want you to. For the time being, look to the humans. I have a little appointment with my other dear friend, Two-Edge.** Growling quietly, she walked towards the Deep Dark Basements of Glue Fountain, while Tyldak tottered off towards the humans' living quarters. Meanwhile, the two lovemates watched them leave, and then went right back to business.

***
Luckily for all concerned, the GAME had no place at the banquet. This was a time for social informality, for it remained to that day that at Wolfrider meals, things tended to get messy. Much to the embarrassment of the Gliders, this occasion was not an exception.

The Wolfriders' chief, of all characters, plunged his fork into the piece of meat before him. To his utter shock, it did not spurt out blood. "What is this?!" he cried, "'Well done'? That's not exactly what I meant!" Just across from him, Leetah groaned quietly, and let her head fall into her napkin.

Meanwhile, Treestump had a few more problems. He had asked for fast food, but the Gliders did not quite figure out the Wolfrider context of this. Eventually, he ate the rubbery stuff, but he could not avoid having an urgent case of indigestion just minutes later.

During the banquet, Pike got high, and Clearbrook got higher. The male went through at least eight glasses of the Gliders' alcohol. Asking where it came from, he nearly fell over upon hearing that it was made from capnuts - for back in the old holt, they had considered those toxic. Clearbrook, though, sampled a great many drinks. After about the third try, she became unusually happy. Looking on this spectacle, Hoodbearer shuddered, and wondered if knowing her parentage was such a good thing after all.

***
Though Strongbow and Moonshade had not seen him, the Captive of Captives was the overlord of the Gliders' prisons. This afternoon, one of his sendings to a favorite student of his had been cut off, and the prison ward was not feeling especially well. This did not bode well for the one he had to deal with.

Windkid, the prodigal Glider, taunted his overseer yet again: "Do what you will to me. But you can't win. If you strike me down, I shall be more powerful than - OUCH! What's *that*, a razor? I don't like this... and neither do I like your bad attitude! Next chance I get, I really am going to get out of here. Do you hear me? Yow! ...Uh, I guess you do," he said pitifully, having received several lashes in a row.

The C.C., clad in his dark robes, grimaced. He hated a lot of things, notably his job, Windkid's constant appearances, trying to appease both Tyldak and Winnowill, and keeping up a double life. At least Two-Edge actually bothers to help me. Other than that, Glue Fountain holds nothing for me, he reminded himself.

***
"Humans!" Tyldak screamed as he entered their living quarters, slamming the door behind him, "Get *down*!"

Immediately and without questioning his orders, they obeyed. The room became silent, and only Tyldak remained standing. The elf was chuckling to himself, for this was the only way left for him to get a power trip. After five minutes had gone by, he said casually, "By the way, you can get up now."

Most of the humans, now staring at the elf, were still shaking in their shoes. One of the edgier humans, who bore the peculiar name of Ehok, broke the silence by blurting, "What? What? What? Is something... something bad... still going on here?" He looked about the room, letting his head swivel quickly, but nothing was out of place.

"It's not your business," said Tyldak. He stood tall again, telling the humans, "Get into a row - Winnowill wants a head count." He actually required this of them, for the anti-healer needed to know if there had been any abrupt changes in the human population.

Within moments, there were several eights of humans in one perfectly straight line segment. In the past, Winnowill had forced them to learn this bit of geometry, and they had not forgotten it. Among the humans there were Jirian, Malak, Selah, Kakuk, and the aforementioned Ehok. However, a certain odd-individual-out human known as Tabak was not there. Pity that Winnowill chose to execute her full vengeance on him, Tyldak thought, But he'll be back up and running in a few weeks.

***
Redlance held his temples, feeling as if he had been hit upside the head. "I've hardly moved from this spot for most of the day," he muttered to himself, "And already we've gotten two visitors, an enemy, and a sudden departure on One-Eye's part. Now I *know* how Dobil feels." He sluggishly turned and looked towards the clearing where the humans had been until recently - and out from the ground, there came Strongbow and Moonshade. Shaking his head in dismay, Redlance left Dobil by the trees, walked out into the clearing, and said, "Well, I've gotten a lot of surprises already this day, but I definitely didn't expect to see you! Let's go over to those trees over there and talk over what's happened. I will say, though, that it looks like it's about to rain," he said, glancing towards the darkening sky.

The embittered archer looked relieved. As he lead his lifemate over towards the spot where Dobil was, he openly sent, **At least Rain the healer's not here.** Sitting down in the shady area, he sighed longingly.

Instantly, Dobil's ears perked up. He asked, foolishly, "Oh, I know all about Rain. Anybody know what happened to him? I last saw him about three moons ago..."

**Don't bother even mentioning the evil one,** Strongbow sent back, letting his shoulders tense up, **Now shall we try to figure out just what's been going on?**

"One more question - where *did* One-Eye go?" Dobil asked again, letting the train of his thoughts run off the rails.

As Redlance stood by, waiting for the rain to fall; as Starjumper kept to himself and did some push-ups, and as Moonshade lay back in the grass moping silently, Strongbow sent in reply, **What do you mean? Did he leave, and did he say why?** He expected Dobil, absent-minded as he was, to understand at least this.

Dobil answered the question quickly, saying, "Yes, he left, after killing some sort of thing called Madcoil. Everything was quiet for a while until Dobil saw a four-fingered hand appear in a bush. Then he jumped up, started shouting 'The traitor!' and..."

The archer was satisfied. **Say no more. I will wait for him to return... and I believe that the way things are going, that he *may* be able to find the traitor.** Unwilling to send anything else, Strongbow let the first drops of water fall on his head.

***
After making several grotesque social blunders at the banquet, Nightfall silently wandered off into another room. She instantly noticed a change in the decor. The level of art in most of Glue Fountain was at the purely practical level, but this expansive room was vastly different. In the middle of it stood a gigantic disco ball, placed on a tall platform. Nightfall, being president and founder of E.L.F. (Every Little Floozy) Communications, had always wanted to do more than produce Clearbrook's mediocre records. She figured that this acoustically designed room would make a good place for a studio. As the Wolfrider stood there in admiration, her eyes fell on a stone-still Glider who sat near the disco ball. "How curious," she said placidly, "I wonder what this elf does? Maybe he's supposed to maintain the disco ball. Perhaps..."

Letting her curiosity get the worst of her, Nightfall walked over to the Glider, and stepped on his toes. To her surprise, the elf did not react at all. Strange... she wondered, Perhaps this is the one they called Weird Egg. What is he here for?

***
"Two-Edge? Come here now, this is your mother..." called the in(s)ane Winnowill, strolling the darkest and deepest halls of Glue Fountain. These passages lead to places where no normal elf ever trod. One of these well-explored areas was the frozen northern wastelands. Winnowill's intervention had gotten several rumors circulating about that area, the best-known one stating that an ancient, all-knowing, list-making, human-patronizing elf named Santaclaus lived in the most remote reaches of the polar lands. This was the kind of notion that Winnowill loved, and every day she encouraged Two-Edge to do the same.

Just when Winnowill was about to give up looking for her child, the tunnel-work above her gave way. Two-Edge fell right through his own ceiling, and right in front of his mother. The half-troll smiled weakly, and feigned passing out.

"Get out the Bagfrog," the anti-healer ordered, her voice becoming suddenly forceful, "Things are not looking well."



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