We all hung up our stockings
And we left you a nice snack.
By now, I guess dear Santa,
You have filled your heavy pack.
Be careful, please, dear Santa,
On the rooftops where you go.
They're slanty and they're slippery
With a crust of ice and snow.
I guess I should be tired,
But I cannot fall asleep.
Tonight I'll count some reindeer,
Instead of counting sheep.
I think you are the nicest man
To do the things you do.
Merry Christmas, Santa dear,
And a Happy New Year too!
'Twas the night before Christmas
and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they're calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul,
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
It's Christmas Time
It's Christmas time
And you can tell
The season is drawing near,
When carolers sing,
And children bring
Their toy lists and their cheer.
It's a special time for relaxation,
For fellowship and love.
A time for giving
And really living,
And blessings from above.
There's a special warmth and magic
In the people and in the air;
Happy, cheerful,
Helpful, tearful,
But most of all, they care.
Let's keep the good will flowing -
Make a special effort this year -
To lend a hand
To our fellow man,
Not just when Christmas draws near.
©1985 Steven R. Dixon
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift:
Its price beyond worth ...
"May you and your loved ones
Enjoy peace on earth."
(c) Harvey Ehrlich, 1992.
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