Fame's on the horizon for us all, they reckon, and with it comes the inevitable warts and all bio-pic. So take our quiz to find out who'll be re-enacting all your moments of high drama (like the time you got caught in your dad's shed with little Timmy from next door…)

1. OK, it's confession time. What were you really like at school?

A. I was an all-round good girl: straight As, netball captain, never sniffed the Pritt Stick...

B. School bored me stupid! What can you possibly learn at school that you can't learn from Vogue?!

C. I loved school! I was so competitive, I'd arm-wrestle teachers for gold stars.

D. School? School? That word rings a bell.

2.  Everything you had planned for tonight has been cancelled. So what are you gonna do instead?

A. Bake a cake, make some bread, prepare a full roast dinner...

B. I never stay in! Call Parties 'R' Us, quick!

C. Watch Gladiator on a loop.

D. Drink my body weight in Jack Daniels.

3. You're madly in love. Are you a total embarrassment to all who know you?

A. No, I'm a real happy bunny: chilled-out and loved-up.

B. Well... I'm a bit of a drama queen but I love the drama. Who wants to be stuck in a rut?     Unless it's an especially attractive rut...

C. I'm a bit of a fretter: I get scared my man will go off me.

D. 'Fraid so! I cling to my bloke like a Yorkshire terrier on heat.

4. Do you think you're potential mummy material?

A. Yeah! That's what we're here for. I've virtually got shares in those Predictor kits and I've just patented perforated condoms.

B. And ruin this bod? Are you insane?

C. Kids would be cool - but I wouldn't give up my job. My brain would turn to mush like Farley's Rusks in warm milk.

D. Babies? I dunno. The gas-and-air might be fun, though…

5. What's your favourite comfort food?

A. Bangers and mash

B. A packet of full-strength Silk Cuts: sod the Ultra Lights if there's a crisis at work!

C. Milk and cakes

D. Milk and (hash) cakes

6. What's always on your box (oh, keep it clean, will you?!)?

A. EastEnders: it's 'real', it's funny, it's down-to-earth…

B. This Is Your Life: there should be a red book with my name on it. There are certainly enough little black books with my name in them!

C. Pet Rescue: those sweet, silly, fluffy creatures break my heart. And that's just the presenters…

D. Ibiza Uncovered: the book-tubed baps, the foam dancing, the vodka-induced comas… Reminds me of my youth (oh, OK, and of last weekend).

7. Like Sheena Easton, you've got the 'look'. But where did you get it?

A. M&S

B. Versace

C. The Gap

D. Sue Ryder (from the 'exclusive' window display, mind: I'm not cheap)

8. Who's your idol?

A. Princess Diana: she definitely had the 'common touch'.

B. Princess Diana: she was so glam.

C. Princess Diana: she married a prince.

D. Princess Diana: she kicked royal arse.

9. If pain were no object, what tattoo would you have?

A. I'd love a smiley sun, but it'd have to be a transfer - permanent ones are just silly.

B. A diamante heart. I couldn't get a real one, though - I don't want another pain in my life.

C. My latest lover's name, but in henna. Well, they'll both fade away eventually…

D. My man's name in permanent ink. I'll just turn it into a headstone - his headstone - if we split up!

10. What's your favourite song?

A. Common People by Pulp

B. Uptown Girl by Billy Joel

C. Sugar Sugar by The Archies

D. Wild Thing by The Troggs

11. Apart from the man stapled to your bed, what else is in your boudoir?

A. Everything Laura Ashley would desire. Flowers, pine furniture, more flowers…

B. The entire Las-Vegas-Hooker look: satin sheets, red light bulbs, mirrored tiles…

C. Virginal white candles, virginal white bedding, and the cutest (but sadly not-so-virginal anymore - if you'd seen what that bear has seen…) white teddy.

D. Tons of CDs, massage oil, joss sticks - and a dozen miniatures nicked from hotel bars (can you get any money back on those?)

12. What's in your handbag, then?

A. Cash, Tampax, a Travelcard and a big bag of toffees.

B. A mirror, Channel lippy, gold credit card, VIP passes, another mirror…

C. A photo of my mum and dad, a photo of a kitten, my Life Coach's number and a rosy red apple.

D. A backstage pass, some Rizlas, a hip flask, and enough money to cover bail.

13. What are your fears?

A. Being seen as uppity, falling out with my family, bloody big boats.

B. Putting on one whole pound, being ignored, being caught wearing a shell suit.

C. Losing my spiritual way, being dumped, being too old to be cute. (Tip: powder blue on a 40-year-old woman rarely works.)

D. Doing a nine-to-five job, conforming, finding out that tattoo ink makes your boobs shrink.

14. What do you believe in?

A. Family, not dieting, men in breeches.

B. Notoriety, glamour, the power of lip liner.

C. Smiling sweetly to get my own way, manners don’t cost anything, faking it.

D. Having so much fun my brain hurts, loving till I drop, friendly aliens.

Now, work out whether you answered mostly As, Bs, Cs or Ds to discover who's going to be playing you in the big-budget movie of your life...

Go to the next page for the results!