The Fantastic Four vs. The Fearsome Four
By
Shane Luttrell and Carolyne Smythe
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Introduction
By
Shane Luttrell
So, you think there aren't any more interesting VILLAINS for the Fantastic Four to fight? Well, sit down and get ready to be amazed, because we GUARANTEE you've never met characters like...the FEARSOME FOUR!
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New York is a wonderful city! It's full of life, and noise, and people! MOST of the residents are hardworking, honest, and decent citizens. And best of all, New York is home to the FANTASTIC FOUR, the world's most famous and amazing costumed adventurers!
Unfortunately, there are also those in the city who PREY on the weak, and who TAKE what they want!
Such are the four who met one afternoon in an abandoned warehouse in a dark corner of New York!
The leader, a tall young man with long brown hair, was speaking to the other three in a quiet, guarded voice. He was laying out plans...plans to rob FOUR separate locations on the same day!
The other three listened attentively! One was a handsome, mustached man with a purple suit. He was munching on a can of beans as he listened to the leader! Next was a lovely blond girl in a blue and white costume. An evil SNEER crossed her face as she listened to the plan! And last was a short, black-bearded man. He was IMPATIENT to get started with the day's evil work!
But enough of this unlikable quartet! Let's turn our attention to more ADMIRABLE characters...namely the FANTASTIC FOUR!
The adventurers were in their headquarters in the Baxter Building, spending some rare quite time together! But perhaps "quiet time" is the WRONG word! For at that moment, the young JOHNNY STORM was listening to his favorite radio show, "Music for the New Generation!"
"Can't ya turn them jungle drums down, junior?", said the THING, "I'm trying ta read the newspaper! How'm I supposed to concentrate on LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE with that racket blastin'?"
"Oh blow it our your EAR, Thing!", shot back the Torch, "You're just mad `cause they stopped makin' that stuff YOU call music about forty years ago!"
"Now, you two," said the beautiful young woman known as the INVISIBLE GIRL, "Please don't start THAT again! We just got the building repaired from your LAST musical debate!"
"Hold it!", interjected MISTER FANTASTIC, the leader of the group, "LISTEN to the radio!"
"What for, Stretcho?" asked the Thing, "Is it time for AMOS AND ANDY agin?"
"Quiet, Ben!", shot back Reed.
The music had stopped, as a special BULLETIN came over the airwaves! "ATTENTION! Four new supervillians have appeared in the city SIMULTANEOUSLY! As we speak, FOUR separate locations are being ROBBED by these incredible beings!"
The Fantastic Four listened as the locations of the holdups were given. Then, the incredible team went into ACTION!
"We'll split up, everyone!", ordered Mister Fantastic. "Each of us take a section of the FANTASTICAR and take on one of the villains! Let's go, gang!"
"If only we knew their POWERS!", said the Invisible Girl as they headed for the hangar bay on the Baxter Building's top floor. "Then we could know how to ATTACK them!"
"We'll just have to go in swinging...and hope for the BEST!" Mister Fantastic replied.
And so, like the well-oiled fighting machine they were, the fantastic quartet speeded their way to four different parts of the city!!
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Massage Man vs. Mr. Fantastic
By
Carolyne Smythe
Reed Richards landed his part of the Fantasticar down beside the entrance of the First Bank of New York. To his surprise, he saw two guards outside of the bank looking so relaxed and in another world. Reed turned, and saw at the street corner the very person he was assigned to handle and arrest, Massage Man with an armful of bags filled with money. Reed took one long stride towards that street corner, and placed a hand on Massage Man's shoulder. Massage Man turned around, and calmly said to the elastic man at his side.
"Hello sir, lovely day we are having isn't it?"
Reed knew better than to be caught off guard by such a casual question.
"Young man, it is obvious that you impenetrated, and robbed that bank. Now, if you just come with me to the nearby police station..."
Quickly, and neutrally Massage Man interrupted Reed.
"Sir, it is such a wonderful day for a massage. Could I interest you in one?"
Reed, surprised at this non sequitur, replied to the question in as laid back a fashion as Massage Man's.
"No thank you. I do not believe in the healing properties of a massage. A good few hours' rest does just as splendid a job of relaxing one."
This did not faze Massage Man one bit.
"Oh but sir, EVERYBODY loves my massages! Please, try this free sample of my services."
Suddenly, Massage Man dropped his bags full of legal tender, and dug his fingers into Reed's shoulders. Reed tried to resist that unusual attack, and wrapped his whole body around Massage Man. Massage Man kept on working his fingers and hands up and down Reed's back. As much as Reed tried to resist the massage, he was slowly starting to drift off into relaxation.
"Must... resist... massage..."
Reed said in a weary voice as Massage Man's powers truly started to take effect. When Reed was all mesmerized, Massage Man placed him down on the ground like the guards in front of the bank Reed had laid his eyes upon earlier, and said in a smarmy, evil tone.
"Nobody can resist my massages."
Then, he picked up his sacks full of money, and escaped.
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The Thing vs. Slight-Breeze Girl
By
Shane Luttrell
The FANTASTICAR of the Thing landed in front of the Yancy Street Pawn Emporium.
"I would have to get sent here!", lamented the Thing, "That blamed Yancy Street Gang is worse'n Ol' Doc Doom on his worst day!"
He went inside the pawn shop, ready for action. The first thing he saw was the owner, TIED UP on the floor! But the biggest suprise was a lovely BLONDE-HAIRED GIRL, emptying out the cash register! She was dressed in a blue and white uniform which the Thing found instantly FLATTERING!
She dropped the money bag she was holding. "The THING!" she cried.
"Whodya expect, CARY GRANT?", he asked. "Okay, toots, come along nice and easy and I won't haveta MESS UP your EYESHADOW!"
The evil villainess looked at him and sneered. "MAKE ME!", she cried.
The Thing was taken ABACK. He walked up to her and started to yell his famous cry! "IT'S CLOBBERIN....Ah.. IT'S CLOBBERIN!....aw, shoot! I can't clobber a dame!"
The blonde laughed with glee. "It's what I was COUNTING on, you brainless buffoon! You think I'm helpless because I'm a GIRL! Well, you won't think that when you feel my POWER!" She raised her arms above her head. The THING braced himself! "The POWER.... of 'SLIGHT BREEZE GIRL'!!"
Suddenly, a STIFF BREEZE sprung up from nowhere! Small pieces of paper and litter began MOVING slowly across the floor. The hair of the tied-up shopkeeper began to noticibly become UNRULY!
"Gee...that's a REFRESHING power you got there, babe!" said the Thing. "But that won't stop ME from...AAAAHHHHH!!"
He suddenly reached for his eye! For fate had taken a hand... as a PARTICLE OF DUST had gotten caught in the breeze, landing right in the left eye of the Thing!
"I'm BLIND!", he cried, "What a REVOLTIN' development!"
The terrible villainess laughed an EVIL laugh! "Now's my chance to ESCAPE!"
She grabbed the money bag, and was out the door before the THING could react!
"I'll say just one thing!," yelled the Thing at the bound shopkeeper, "If she's messed up my BABY BLUES I'll CLOBBER her, girl or no girl!"
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Human Torch vs. The Masked Beatnik
By
Carolyne Smythe
Johnny Storm was cruising about in his section of the Fantasticar, when a young man about his age cladded in tie-dye, jeans with holes in the knees, and most notably a mask outside of the National Bank of Savings and Loan caught his eye. Johnny landed on the street, climbed out, and shouted.
"FLAME ON!"
He flew above the young man holding a tie-dye flag with a peace sign in the middle, and a few sacks stuffed with cash, and created a circle of fire around him.
"Hey man, why the not so groovy hot stuff?"
The Masked Beatnik asked Johnny in a mellowed out tone. Johnny replied.
"Well, because I was ordered to capture a joker who had stolen a ton of money from a bank. And since we're outside a bank, and you're the unlucky loser holding the dough, this is my way of capturing you!"
The Beatnik stared at Johnny and the wall of flames in a spaced out way for a moment, then asked.
"Man, haven't you ever been sick of taking orders from that old prude of a leader you have?"
Johnny retorted.
"Look freak, Reed is not a prude. Yeah, he acts like an old fart sometimes. But he's a respectable man."
The Beatnik would not give up.
"Aw c'mon. You know you are sick of taking orders. We are eventually going to rule brother. You and I are a part of a new and happenin' generation. And what better time to show all older generations that we are better and should rule than now?"
Johnny thought about what the Beatnik said for a moment. Then responded.
"You are right, we all are eventually going to rule. So why do I have let the elders on the team push me around?" Johnny said hotly.
"Heeeey, that's the spirit man!"
The Beatnik said as he ran off, leaving Johnny ranting to himself about making it more known to the older members of the Fantastic Four how superior he was.
"That's right! I deserve to be treated just as well as Sis, Ben, and Reed. Just because they are older doesn't mean they should push me around! You know, you may be a freaky beatnik, but I like your... Hey, where did you go?"
Johnny asked out loud dumbfoundedy.
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The Invisible Girl vs. The Purple Pooter
by
Shane Luttrell
Sue Storm looked inside the Jewelry Store she was assigned to! She didn't see anything, but she knew the villain was inside somewhere! Then, she exercised her amazing POWER, slowly fading from sight!
Then she entered! Still no one in sight! Suddenly though, a man raised up from where he had been kneeling behind a display case! He was a tall man in a bright PURPLE suit! Susan gasped! She thought to herself, "I never knew a supervillain...could be so HANDSOME!"
Unfortunately, the crook had heard her gasp! He smoothly said, "Ok whoever you are, come out! I know you're THERE!"
The Invisible Girl became VISIBLE! The man saw her and said, "Oh my...I can't believe my eyes! You are the most LOVELY creature I have ever seen!"
She slowly began to smile! First Namor, then this suave super-villain? Was it POSSIBLE she was on the WRONG SIDE?
"And, just what are you doing with those jewels?", she asked.
"They are all for YOU, my darling!" he slyly said, "All this, plus ALL the jewels in the world wouldn't be enough for one a BEAUTIFUL as you!"
"Oh.... how romantic!", Sue cried. She walked over to the man, he held out his arms to EMBRACE her!
But suddenly, she stopped! "What am I doing?", she asked herself, "I can't two-time REED this way! I can't turn my back on the MAN I LOVE!!"
The purple clothed man STOPPED smiling! "I'm sorry to hear that, my dear! For if I can't DECIEVE you with my charm, I'll have to give you a whiff... of my POWER!"
Sue braced for an attack! She didn't know what FORM it would take, but she would be READY! She watched the villain. Suddenly, his face began to turn red! He grimaced! Then...BBBRRTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!
First the noise, like a frog suddenly being stepped on! Then, without warning, a FOUL, PUTRID SMELL, spread through the room! Sue choked. Her eyes began to WATER!
"NOW you know!", the villain cried, "Why the call me...THE PURPLE POOTER!! Here's some more!"
BRRRTTTTT!
BRRRRRRRRTTTT!
BRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT!
The Invisible Girl was horrified! "This...is HORRIBLE!" she cried. "How can you be so...DISGUSTING?!?!?"
He laughed. "I'm a GUY, aren't I?"
She was overwhelmed. She had a desperate thought! "Perhaps...if I turn my NOSE invisible!"
But it didn't work! Even invisible, her nose soaked up the smelly air molecules!
"And to think!..." she cried, "that I thought you were...CUTE!"
The Purple Pooter only laughed and ran out of the Building! As he ran, it sounded like a motorboat PUTTING down the RIVER!
The Invisible Girl had been defeated!
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Conclusion or Second Time's the Charm
By
Carolyne Smythe
The Fantastic Four met back at the Baxter Building right after their surprising, and not to mention, embarrassing defeats. Ben was not shy about his anger over the whole situation.
"I cannot believe that one grain o' sand kept me from clobberin' that brat of a girl!"
"If you think that's bad, try being fooled by a freak into almost rebelling against your best friends!" Johnny replied to Ben's brash comment.
"I cannot believe I almost fell in love with another villain for a SECOND time." Susan pouted, almost on the verge of shedding tears.
"Well, if it makes all of you feel better, I was defeated my a mere massage." Reed spoke in a calmer voice than his other three colleagues did.
"I find it so hard to believe that we were defeated so easily by such corny powers!" countered Johnny.
"The next time we go against these villains, we need to use a different approach." Continued Reed.
"Each of us will take on a villain that's better suited for us. In other words, we each have to fight the one whose powers would not effect us."
The other three nodded their head in unison. This was one of the few rare moments where they understood where Reed was getting at.
"Now, one of you turn on the radio or television so we can find out where our opponents are going to strike next." Reed ordered.
Johnny turned on the radio. Right when it came on that moment, out came the following.
"We interrupt the music at the moment to bring you this news flash! Right now, four odd looking people have invaded the International First Savings Bank!"
Before they heard anymore, the Fantastic Four were up on their feet, and heading to the Fantasticar.
The Fantastic Four arrived at the International First Savings Bank within the course of five minutes. As they arrived, they saw the ones who had defeated them single-handedly earlier through an assortment of trickery and foolish powers. From what each member knew from their accounts of the battles, all four knew whom they were going to tackle. After they landed, Reed headed towards the one called the Masked Beatnik, Ben went to have a bone to pick with Massage Man, Sue walked up to the one known as Slight Breeze Girl, and Johnny went to have a rumble with the Purple Pooter.
"My sister told me of the horrible manners you have!" Johnny yelled out as he approached the Pooter.
"You mean that beautiful woman was your sister? Tis a shame how she turned on me like she did. But I don't have to tell you anymore, for the results shall be in front of your nose!" The Pooter replied snidely.
What occurred afterwards turned out to be a fatal mistake for the Pooter that easily became a victory for the Torch. The moment the Pooter let lose his power, it reacted with Torch's flames in literally a BANG! When the dust died down, the Pooter was still stunned.
"What the...? Why did it explode like that?"
"Why? Anyone can tell you how flammable methane is jerk!" Johnny immediately responded.
Meanwhile, it was a piece of cake for Sue to handle Slight Breeze Girl. All she had to do was encase her in a force field bubble.
"What?! But surely, my powers of controlling a slight breeze can help break my way through this!!" The girl said frustratedly.
Sue just smiled as the girl tried with her mere breezes to blow her way out of the bubble. Ben didn't even need but one punch to k.o. Massage Man.
"Didn't even need ta waste my Sunday Punch on that nut!" Ben exclaimed as he looked over a masseuse who was out cold.
Reed did not even need but a few sentences to make his tie-dyed opponent throw in the towel.
"C'mon ya old prude! Never will I fall to your strict, over bearing beliefs!" The Beatnik hollered out in such a drugged out tone.
"You can say all the rebellious things you want Beatnik! But, your comments cannot, have not, and will not change nor effect the opinions of me and nine tenths of Americans who do not agree with you!"
Reed quipped back to the Beatnik.
"What do you mean man?" Beatnik asked back quizzedly.
"What I mean is that you can try to get everyone to agree with you, but our opinions on different things, especially the government and how it should be run will remain different."
"Gee, I never have thought of it like that man..." The Beatnik said in as dumbfounded a way as he had left Johnny earlier.
And right when the Beatnik was starting to ponder if everyone really was listening, and cared about his beliefs and opinions; Massage Man began to gain consciousness, Slight Breeze Girl gave up, and Pooter recovered from the explosion he caused, the police arrived to pick them up. And from then on, the world of the Fantastic Four would never be the same, for every now and then, they would look back on this moment and laugh at how these ridiculous villains actually showed them up.