Why Should I

So why should I, brokenhearted, have waited
For an I-love-you not uttered,
For arms closed and shuttered,
For skin deadening at my touch?
So brokenhearted, I should have waited why?
So why should I the villain always be,
When the reward is a peck on the lips, then
A guest appearance at ten?

Past is the hour,
Lost in the days when
It didn’t matter what time
Or where we had been.

We have been here.

And I should be there
Behind the door,
Because no one should ever be alone.
Everything else just hurts,
Nothing unexplored there.

Who was or was not somebody’s imaginary?
Who cares?
If we shared a kiss, a touch, something deeper than apology,
Would it matter?

So why should I have lain there brokenhearted?
So we both could share a sadness,
Shed a tear,
Permitted an admission of the inadmissible evidence
That we still love the person we wish the other
Could have been?

If you had opened the door and just walked in,
And I sleeping on the bed had been,
Would we have touched?
Would I sleeping beside you have felt any less alone?

8/15/97 rev. 6/7/98