features TAZ VS. Shawn "HeartBreak Kid" Michaels (WWF Intercontinental Title/"Submission/I Quit" Match)
Kimona Wannalaya
Formerly the valet of Raven
Photo came from The Pro Wrestling On-Line Museum
ROSS: Well, folks, we've come now to our Intercontintal title bout under "Submission/I Quit" rules. We have WWF Intercontinental Champion TAZ taking on the flamboyant "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. Before, we thought that it would be a supreme challenge for Michaels but now, with these "submission" rules, this has got to favor the champion.
LAWLER: Of course it does. TAZ is a submission expert. He knows more suplexes than most amature wrestlers know plus he has a mean streak a mile long. Michaels might have opened his big mouth one too many times this time.
HEENAN: Ross, Lawler, let me ask this. Has TAZ or Michaels ever submitted in a match?
ROSS: As far as I know, TAZ has never submitted in a match while Michaels has only submitted one time in a match and that was in 1992 at The Survivor Series when he face Bret Hart for the WWF World Title. Since then, Michaels has never submitted in a match but if anyone on earth can make him say "I Quit" or make him tap out, it is TAZ. Don't think it can't happen folks.
TONY: So, both of you over there are saying that this favors TAZ and that he will come out on top?
ROSS: I would have to go with TAZ.
LAWLER: For once I agree with you but you can't count out Michaels either. He might have a trick or two up his sleeve. Remember, this is a no disqualification, no countout type of bout. It can go anywhere in the arena. Michaels doesn't have to use a wrestling hold to make TAZ give up. So, I guess the real question is how much will these two sacrifice of themselves to gain that victory and not say "I Quit" or tap out?
At this point, the music of Shawn Michaels blares out over the speakers. He has on his tights but no fancy ring wear. He has a serious look on his face and doesn't dance and prance to the ring like he usually does. He slides into the ring and just raises his fist in the air and stands in the corner as he awaits TAZ.
The music of "War Machine" plays out as TAZ comes to the ring. Wearing his I-C title and with his usual towel over his head, he powerwalks to the ring and enters it. He quickly removes his belt and goes to the center of the ring where Michaels meets him for a staredown. They stare for 10 seconds and then TAZ flips him a double-bird!! Michaels responds with his "crotch chops" and yells out "Suck It"!!! The two circle each other as they move in. Michaels goes for a lock up but TAZ gets in a foot to the gut. He then bashes Michaels with two hard right hands. Michaels responds with a right of his own and the two trade off hits on each other with TAZ coming out on top. TAZ whips him into the ropes and hooks Michaels in his "T-Bone TAZ-plex"!! Michaels staggers to the corner with "The Human Suplex Machine" in pursuit. TAZ charges in but Michaels counters with an elbow to the jaw that knocks him back. TAZ charges in again but takes a flying elbow from Michaels. The announce team also reminds everyone that knock outs do count in this match as well.
Meanwhile, Michaels goes to the outside and gets a ladder. He brings it into the ring and puts it into a corner. He then kicks TAZ in the stomach, hits the ropes and performs a swinging neckbreaker. With TAZ prone in the center, Michaels quickly sets up the ladder and goes to the top of it. He then executes a big splash from the very top of the ladder on TAZ!! Michaels then gets the mic from the ref:
MICHAELS: What do you say? You quit?
TAZ: Go fuck yourself Shawn!!
In response to that, Michaels beats him in the head with the microphone!! He does this about six times and it does open up TAZ. Michaels now has the mic again:
MICHAELS: TAZ!! Just two words, that's all you have to say.
TAZ: Yeah, blow me!!
Michaels takes that insult by punching him again in the head with the mic. He then gets up and does is crotch chops to TAZ and to the Houston crowd. While he does this, TAZ gets up and takes him down by the legs!! TAZ is now pounding the hell of out Michaels!! He tosses Michaels into a corner and is kicking the crap out of him in the midsection. He then throws him into the opposite corner. Michaels comes out and eats a hard clothesline. TAZ then hooks in a cross-armbreaker on Michaels and asks for the mic from the ref:
TAZ: Give up "Boy Toy"?!
MICHAELS: No! Ahhh!!!
TAZ is really pulling on this armbreaker. The ref asks Michaels himself but HBK refuses to give in. Michaels then does a desperate move as he applies a testicular clawhold on TAZ!! This gives an immediate break!! For those of you that may wonder what that is, it is simply a clawhold on a man's privates!! Anyway, TAZ gets up holding himself as Michaels fires him to the outside. The two men are now brawling outside the ring!! TAZ throws Michaels into the ringpost shoulderfirst. TAZ charges in but Michaels moves and TAZ runs into the post head first, opening that cut even more!! Michaels, being the smart veteran, goes to work on that cut. With TAZ stunned, Michaels then goes get a steel chair and throws it at TAZ. The fighter from Brooklyn, NY catches the chair but Shawn then follows it up with his "Sweet Chin Music" superkick to the chair, crashing it into the face of TAZ!! Shawn now has the mic again:
MICHAELS: Now, you bastard, say it!!
TAZ breaths heavily into the mic and finally says something.
TAZ: Fuck you!!
TAZ also punctuates that response with a flip off to Michaels' face!! Shawn is getting a little frustrated now as he fires TAZ back into the ring. Michaels then goes to set up that ladder in the corner. He folds it flat and lays it against the turnbuckles. He then attempts to whip TAZ into the corner but TAZ reverses things and hooks in the TAZ-mission (the katahijimi) on Michaels!! Michaels quickly counters it with a lowblow kick but TAZ holds onto the hold!! TAZ then uses his rarely used and deadly TAZ-mission-plex on Michaels into the ladder!! Michaels' head and neck goes into the steel ladder hard!!
ROSS: Oh, Jesus Christ!! That's got to be all!!
TONY: My goodness, his head and neck was driven into that ladder!!
LAWLER: As much as I like Shawn, he's got to say "I Quit" now!!
At this point, TAZ gets the mic:
TAZ: Now, you little son of a bitch, say it!!
MICHAELS: No....no....
The crowd gasps unbelievably at Michaels' answer. As TAZ picks up Michaels, "HBK" nails him with another lowblow that has effect this time. He then follows that up with a DDT to TAZ. Michaels then takes "The Human Suplex Machine" and sets him up in the corner with his legs spread. Michaels then executes his "SCM" on TAZ again with TAZ helpless to do anything about it!! He then does it again to TAZ, he continues to do it for about seven more times!! Every time, he hits TAZ square in the face!! Michaels also now has a chair and hits TAZ with four flush chair shots!! TAZ now slumps to the mat, nearly out of it. Michaels now gets the mic:
MICHAELS: SAY IT!! SAY IT !!
TAZ: E....eh.....eat shit and die Michaels!!
Michaels now has a look on his face as if to say "what the hell do I have to do?" As Michaels comes with another plan, there is a rumble in the crowd. It is "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan!! He hits the ring and decks Shawn with a clothesline. Hogan quickly goes down and peppers Michaels with right hands to the head. He then executes a piledriver on Michaels on his already injured neck!! Hogan now hits the ropes and executes his leg drop on Michaels. Michaels is nearly out. Hogan now gloats over his sworn enemy but forgets about TAZ as "The Human Suplex Machine" is getting to his feet. Meanwhile, Hogan has the mic:
HOGAN: Michaels!! Remember SummerSlam? It is payback time!!
Hogan begins to drop his tights to administer the "golden shower" on Michaels (much the same way that Hall, Michaels, Savage and Nash did to him) but, before he could do so, TAZ got to his feet and sees Hogan. He then spins Hogan around and hits him with a right hand!! TAZ then puts Hogan in his "T-Bone" suplex and hooks in his "TAZ-mission" hold on Hogan!! He takes "Hollywood" down as he chokes him out!! By then, The Ultimate Warrior and Buff Bagwell hit the ring and attack TAZ and Michaels!! The nWo members throw Michaels out of the ring and go after TAZ. They give TAZ a horrible beating as Hogan recovers from being nearly choked out. A weakend TAZ is no match for Warrior and Bagwell as Bagwell delivers his "Blockbuster" neckbreaker on TAZ!! The Warrior then takes "The Most Miserable S.O.B." in wrestling, picks him up in his gorilla press and tosses him into the commentators' table!! At this point, Hogan is back up and points towards Michaels, who foolishly tries to crawl back into the ring. They start to go after him but DX members Nash, Hall, and Rude come out for the save. The nWo leave but the damage had been done. Hall stays with Michaels while Nash checks on TAZ. Rude gets medical help for both wrestlers as the commentators for both WCW and WWF comment on what they have just seen:
ROSS: Well, from what I can tell, TAZ is still the WWF Intercontinental Champion but neither TAZ nor Shawn Michaels ever said "I Quit" but the nWo made its mark in this matchup tonight. Both of these men are going to be spending the night in the hospital I am sure.
LAWLER: Well JR, you have to give both men credit. They dished out the most punishment that you could dish out to a human being and neither man gave in but Hogan and the nWo made their presense felt.
TONY: They sure did but if these two men can take what they dished out to each other, I am sure they will be back to challenge the nWo. By the way, we have reached the end of our program but what an ending it was!! I must say that though we work for different companies, it was a pleasure working with you JR and "King".
ROSS: Same here Tony.
LATER THAT WEEK........
It was announced that WCW World Champion Chris Benoit agreed to 60 Minute IronMan Triple Threat Bout with both Shawn Michaels and "Hollywood" Hogan!! The man with the most falls after sixty minutes would be WCW Champion!! The match will have no countouts, no disqualifications and only pins and submissions will count. Also, TAZ agreed to put his WWF I-C title on the line against The Ultimate Warrior in a Brooklyn Death Match. The rules of this bout are come as you are, no DQ's, no countouts, and falls and submissions will count anywhere in the building!! Both matches are scheduled to take place at WWF WrestleMania!! As for WWF RAW and WCW Nitro, the two went back to being seperate shows but the pairing of the two shows was a ratings winner. The show was later put on video as a collector's item. I know this is fiction but if the two companies ever did that, it would be a keep sake!!