Endless Duel





Many game developers strive to create games of equal quality to the movies and shows they are based one. I can safely say that "Endless Duel" is one of the first games I have seen to succeed at this challenge. This landmark achievement in gaming is on the same level of Gundam Wing the show. During my wonderful search through the jungle we call the internet, I stumbled upon "Endless Duel" and said to myself, "What the Hell! I'll give this game a try".

The following review will hopefully encourage you readers to run down to your local Wal-Mart, boycott it for six weeks until they get you a copy of "Endless Duel", and then sacrificially burn this game so that you may purge the Earth from 20 ounces of evil. Shown in this review is actual tampered-with in-game footage.

The opening sequence has Heero extending his hand towards you like he's about to eat your soul or something equally perverse. The other Gundam boys slid behind Heero. For some reason all of their eyes are now purple. I don't know why, probably drugs. It's always drugs with these people.

The game play value of "Endless Duel" is the same as Gundam Wing. It has bright seizure inducing flashing lights and cheaply done techno rock music. As with all fighting games you play by randomly punching buttons enough times until you beat the other combatant to a flashing pulp. Of course this strategy doesn't work against the boss (Epyon). Against Epyon you must use the other fundamental law of fighting games. The boss can always be defeated by crouching and kicking. It never fails. "Endless Duel" is also responsible for the animated Gundam GIFs which have proliferated across the web and are the cause of huge message board signatures that take half an hour to load. Some sick bastards have fun by overlapping the GIFs to get a cheap version of Gundam porn. It ain't pretty.

The story mode for the game perfectly captures the thrilling tale of Gundam Wing. There is no plot whatsoever. The characters just fight. Given this may be seen by some as a negative against the game, but I see this in a positive light. The fact that there is no plot is better than the hideous plot of Gundam Wing. Having no explanation for why Heero fights Trowa in the game is better than the pointless excuses used by the show to have the Gundam pilots fight each other. Just skip the extra BS and go straight to the fight. The story mode also has the same ending each time. It just ends with Epyon being destroyed. You then stare at Epyon for a minute before Treize starts to ramble. He's supposed to be dead at this point in the plot, but such trivial things as that hasn't stopped Gundam Wing before so why should it now?

I give this game a score of -273.15. What does this number mean, you ask? It means absolutely jack besides being the lowest possible temperature in Celsius. I don't know how to rate a video game so why even bother with my biased opinion. What? Do you actually think PC Gamer and all those other game reviewers actually know what they're talking about? Hell no! All that matters is if you personally enjoy playing the game or not. Who cares if some person you don't know likes or dislikes it. I liked "Endless Duel" for the fact that is was true to the fighting genre that was selling like mad during the mid 90s. It didn't try to be a drama or a philosophy lesson. It was just mechs fighting. Besides, I sort of relished the chance to smack around Quatre, Wufei, and the rest of the characters. The fact that I enjoyed the game more than I thought I would speaks highly of it.