The Gundam Quiz

	The Original Gundam Quiz was supposed to be a fully interactive quiz. Fate did not agree with me when I attempted to do this and I had no clue how in the heck to make it work. Now, almost a year after I first wrote this I have returned with the knowledge of how to create that which should have been. Here is the real Gundam Fan Quiz.

1. You get arrested for trying to break into Cape Canaveral. They throw you out as you scream "We all have to make it out to space."

2. You want to kill Relena every time she yells "Heeeeeeeero!". Damn you'd think she would actually fall in love with a real person not a satanic psycho killer. What happened? Was she dumped by Charles Manson and had to settle for Heero?

3. You have taken to using massive amounts of Crisco and lard to fix up your hair in the morning.

4. You watch only because you need something to do between DragonballZ and Tenchi Muyo.

5. Your friends complain of your violent mood swings and tendency to lock yourself in a dark room and brood for days.

6. You have nightmares about Dorothy and those eyebrows of hers which don't match her hair. She's a mannnn baby! A man!

7. You watch the Wizard of Oz looking for insights into Gundam. Wait! Is that Heero hiding behind the munchkin? Awww no its just one of those hideous flying monkey things. It's so easy to confuse them with our hapless protagonist.

8. Your favorite episode is when Quatre gets into the Psycho Zero System and vows to destroy everything. (Kill em', Kill em' all)

9. You spend hours locked in the garage gluing together soda cans, paper mache, GI Joe parts, scraps of tin, old coins, and glitter to construct your very own Gundam.

10. You want to see Dorothy in Epyon, just to see how much more psycho she can get.

11. In your free time you search the Periodic Table of elements hundreds of thousands of times and pester your Chemistry teacher in your vain quest for Gundanium

12. You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "It's a Gundam!!"

13. In your sick and twisted mind you can find a difference between the normal and "uncut" versions of Gundam Wing on Toonami.

14. You ask yourself, who writes this crap? How the hell can someone go home at night and sleep knowing that they have worked on this pitiful excuse for entertainment? These writers must be washed up porno actors who have no future and are determined to ruin ours with this cursed rotting pile of crap for a show.

15. You ask someone when the Midnight Run is on.

16. You wonder how such crap sneaked past the FCC. Send it to Canada not here. Damn them to self destructing psycho killers.

17. You honestly believe that Relena and Heero's relationship will not turn into an abusive marriage. Has anyone heard of Mike Tyson?

18. You are convinced that only hyperactive chipmunks smoking crack with severe mental disabilities could watch this show and not go into seizures.

19. Your Gundam models talk to you. They tell you that one world nation of peace is possible! All you have to do is "borrow" your parent's credit card and head to Toys R Us. You will receive further instructions upon arrival.

20. You notice that in every group picture it looks like Heero is planning to kill the rest of the pilots, Wufei is about get the Hell out of there, Quatre wants a group hug, Trowa is drugged up, and Duo looks like he is having way to much fun touching Heero.

21. You dismiss the fact that several Oz soldiers have the same face and body as merely a genetic fluke or cloning.

22. You laugh at the quotes which are supposed to be dramatic but are really just pathetic.

23. You occasionally go into a trance and chant "Space is the Place" over and over again until somebody kick's your ass. Talented people are capable of understanding what's CRAP!

24. You wonder what the hell is the point of the stupid freakin scene in which the G-Boys and the Wing Gundam have Earth in the background and a box in the center of the screen flashes through different characters until it stops at the smiling prissy face of Relena. All the while, music which can only be compared to a drugged up two year old dancing on a cheap synthesizer, plays in the background. What the hell does it all mean? Subliminal messages? Satanic runes? Or better yet just another reason not to watch this sorry excuse for a show.

25. The gay sexual overtones have gotten to you. You listen to Boy George and watch reruns of Ellen DeGeneres. Before you know it you're living in San Francisco and getting a job as a pet psychic. The real gay community shuns you because you're just a Gundam freak! Finally you get in a rickety cardboard raft and vow to paddle to Japan where you will be given due respect. Somehow you make it across the Pacific and land in Japan where you are again shunned because by this time the Gundam Wing fad has ended in Japan and you are just another stupid American who has wasted time, money, and energy on a show which is crap. Don't worry the Entertainment industry will soon come out with newer and hipper crap you can waste your money on.

26. If you could change the dubbing voices to fit the characters' personalities then you would have a phone sex voice for Quatre, Satan for Wufei, a tree for Trowa (any inanimate object will do), Peewe Herman would be Duo, and Heero would be done by whoever did the gay voice for Frieza on DBZ.

27. You wonder why the Hell there is no one of South American or African ethnicity anywhere in the show. Hello! That is sort of a large percentage of the world's population. We aren't all white and Asian. World Nation my ass! Looks more like "world nation of the demographic we're selling to". Try and be a little politically correct for once.