Lady/Colonel Une’s Datasheet

 

Up, Up, and very far away from Gundam Wing...

Just by taking off her glasses Lady Une turns into...Ta-Dah! SUPERMAN!!  oops, sorry I guess I confused this show's  soooo very original idea with someone  else's.

Up up and away...

As you can see from my character profile: Lady Une has got some serious problems.  According to the official word on Une, she is supposed to be German.  However, she has a decidedly French name.  I concluded that the producers wanted her to be French when she gets drugged up and has her ludicrous hallucinations of universal peace (complete with a hippie-length haircut and glazed over eyes), and German when she becomes Fema-Nazi, terminator woman.  She is at her best when she is in evil Princess Leia mode and bumps off useless secondary characters like Relena’s adopted father.  She really is a bad mutha when she puts her mind, ahem, minds to it.  Must be because that bun cuts off the blood flow to her medulla oblongata.

Of course, there is always the flip side of the coin.  Hippie Une is not as fun as her Nazi counterpart.  She only makes her appearance after der Führer had a near death experience (or something like that; how in hell am I supposed to remember?)  Apparently, Une then gets contacts and lets her hair down.  She does revert back to her Fascist self occasionally; but not enough for my taste.  I guess I can understand because it does take a lot of effort to pull her hair into a bun.  All that work just to switch personalities: it’s quite exhausting.  Besides, she had her Supercuts’ stylist shot.

To top it off, Une is also hopelessly in love with the overtly gay Treize.  She constantly misunderstands that Napoleon-reject, which is understandable because Treize is always talking in frickin haiku (or some likewise shit) to himself.  Now THAT'S a healthy relationship.  In fact, this is probably the world’s first two-person love triangle.  Let’s see Heero and Relena top that.

Name:  Colonel Une (fun fact: une is one in French)
Gender: Female
Nationality:  French
Height: 161 cm
Weight: 47kg
Age: 19 (I swear I'm not making this up: this is from the official stats)
Turn-ons: Weed, and lots of it. Treize in rose-scented bath water.
Turn-offs: Straight men

Name: Lady Une (fun fact: if you don't speak French who gives a damn)
Gender: Jury's still out on this one
Nationality: German
Height:
That huge-ass bun on her head should add a foot at the very least.
Weight:
Considerably heavier.  That huge-ass bun on her head isn’t the easiest thing to support.
Age: Damn well older than 19, that's for sure
Turn-ons: Captain von Trapp from "The Sound of Mus
ic", Two-Face from Batman
Turn-offs: Sissy, weed wacked losers who placate themselves with illusions of peace.
Favorite Song: "One is the Loneliest Number" by Three Dog Night