Title: Salmoneous in a dress, the damsel in distress story
Disclaimer: The characters of Hercules and Iolaus belong to Renaissance Pictures. No money is being made from these stories. These stories are written for entertainment purposes only. I promise to put Hercules and Iolaus back as soon as I’m done with them. Honest!
Summary: Iolaus rescues a damsel in distress, who turns out to be Salmoneous in a dress. Enjoy!
Author’s note: This story takes place during the series timeline. I wrote this story in response to the June 2000 challenge issued by the Iolausian Library in that Iolaus rescues a damsel in distress in 500 words or less.
CHAPTER 1
Iolaus is walking down the road hoping to meet Hercules at a tavern in the next village. Suddenly, Iolaus notices a woman being attacked by five large bandits. Instantly Iolaus jumps into the foray to save the woman from the bandits. Iolaus jumpkicks one bandit in the stomach. He kicks another bandit in the groin. He ducks and rolls as two bandits miss Iolaus and smash into each other and the last bandit Iolaus punches with a right upper cut to the chin. Inside five minutes Iolaus, the human dynamo has knocked all the bandits out. Iolaus ‘jaw drops as he sees the damsel he has rescued.
“Salmoneous!..what are you doing wearing a dress and that ridiculous wig?
Several hours earlier…
“Salmoneous, I want to thank you for saving me from drowning.” Shanara pulls Salmoneous close to her and gives him a full kiss on the lips.
“Shanara, we have to be careful..your brothers don’t exactly like me, you know. They just think of me as a fat salesman who is chasing after you.” Salmoneous whispers nervously.
“Don’t worry, Salmoneous, we’re in the barn. My brothers are on a hunt. They won’t be back until tonight.” Shanara stiffens as she hears voices. “Oh no! My brothers are home early! Stay here! I’ll be right back!”
Salmoneous remains hidden in the barn, terrified that the brothers will find him. Shanara returns a few moments later with a dress in her hand .”Salmoneous, put on my dress. Then walk out of the barn and pretend to be me. The dress will distract my brothers long enough for you to escape oh yeah and wear this wig.”
Salmoneous puts on the dress and wig and tries to sneak out of the barn. Unfortunately one of the brothers spots Salmoneous “A bearded lady? That’s the man I saw my sister in the marketplace!”
The brothers give chase “You know the rest, Iolaus..you help rescue me from Shanara’s brothers.. So, Iolaus, want to join me in the festival at Corinth? “
“Sure, I’m headed that way to meet Herc at the tavern. Salmoneous, are you going to continue to wear that dress and wig?”.
“Of course, I’ll definitely win the costume contest this way. I bet there are no entries for bearded ladies. I’ll take first prize for sure that’s a thousand dinars in my pocket!”
Salmoneous treats Iolaus to dinner and the two part company. Iolaus meets Hercules at the tavern several hours later to drink a late night ale as Iolaus shares his travel tales with Hercules and the rest of the tavern.
“So you see, I was walking down the road today. I saw a lone scared woman being attacked by some angry-looking bandits. Little did I know that the damsel in distress that I help rescue today was none other than Salmoneous in a dress!”
THE END