The Show must go on…
Disclaimer: The characters of Hercules and Iolaus belong to Renaissance Pictures. No money is being made from this story. This story is written for entertainment purposes only.
Summary: In answer to the April 2001 challenge to write a story which begins with the following sentence..Iolaus knew that this time, he had pushed Hercules too far. Can Iolaus persuade Hercules that the show must go on?
CHAPTER 1
Iolaus knew that this time he had pushed Hercules too far. With an angry scowl on his face, Hercules barrels into Iolaus for an explanation “Why didn’t you tell me?” thunders Hercules gesturing with his big hands wildly..
Iolaus sees an angry Hercules approaching him like a determined furious bull as Iolaus darts his eyes from side to side backing away as Iolaus tries to act contrite “Come on Herc..it’s a charity..think of the kids..these kids will go hungry if you aren’t in the show..”
Hercules continues to point his finger in Iolaus’ face as he lectures “Iolaus you should have told me the truth..not sucker me into this show!”
“Herc..if I had told you the truth..you would have said no..you and your shyness..you would never have gone for it..”
“That’s right Iolaus..but we would have found another way to find money for these kids..I’m sure of it..” Hercules speculates..”Friendship is about trust..I trusted you..when you told me that you needed me here for an emergency..I had no idea that you and Salmoneous had hatched this plot..I mean Mother is going to be there..Jason..Iphicles..everyone I know will be there..how could you humiliate me like this! I swear Iolaus I would never have done this to you!”
“Aw come on Herc..it’s not that bad..” Iolaus gives Hercules a quick one-over. And adds “Besides..you have nothing to be ashamed of!”
“Iolaus..that’s NOT the point!” responds a blushing Hercules as he sees the females in the village already leering at him.
“.Iolaus..this time you’ve gone too far! .” Hercules is so upset with Iolaus that he forgets his train of thought as he wildly gestures with his hands what he fails to communicate. Iolaus could swear that he could see steam coming out of Hercules’ ear.
“You know..Herc..I mean this could be fun..the girls will be wild for you..ah..think of all the dates you’ll get after this is over..and think of how much money we’ll be making for charity..you are a really big draw..come on Herc.PLEASE!”
“Herc..I..it’s just that..well you see..ah..this orphanage..it was the first idea to pop into my head..I just wanted to save the kids..I mean the landlord was going to foreclose the orphanage..where would the kids go..then when Salmoneous came into town..well..ah come on Herc..have a heart..”
Aries appears with a smirk on his face and he hands Iolaus a bag full of gold coins “Oh..this is going to be good!” Aries looks at his blushing half-brother and he remarks “..the show hasn’t even begun yet and Hercules is already blushing..ah Discord and I will have an extremely good time watching my half-brother make a spectacle of himself in front of all of Corinth..this is going to be more entertaining than when you fell into that grape vat and turned purple or when Hercules got turned into a pig..Oh runt..you’ve certainly outdone yourself!” Aries laughs as he sees the shocked look on Hercules’ face. “Brother dearest..it’s going to fun tonight! Hahahaha..what a laugh I’ll have..watching you dance..hahaha!” Aries holds his belly as he laughs so hard he just about falls over..Aries then disappears in a flash of light..
Iolaus knew this time he had pushed Hercules too far..
“Iolaus I’m not entertaining Aries!”
“Herc..can you look into the innocent eyes of those orphanage kids and deny them dinars for their food and shelter?..Herc..I know how shy you are..come on Herc..please?”
“Iolaus..Aries will be there..I’ll bet all of Olympus will be here..especially the females members..I’ll never hear the end of this!”
Aphrodite arrives with a sweet smile on her face. She moves to kiss Sweetcheeks on the cheeks and then she hugs her favorite half-brother as she gushes “Hey Hercola..I heard from Aries about the show tonight..you’ll really bring the house down Hercola...I’m so proud of you. Hercola..you have SO MANY female admirers and they all want to come to the show..but I told them the tickets are sold out..so are you doing any more shows..I mean I have petitioners overflowing my coffers..
Iolaus butts in before Hercules can answer and he says “No Dite..this is a one-shot deal..I doubt Herc will be willing to do it again..!”
Aphrodite pouts because she doesn’t like to hear no for an answer..her eyes lighten up as she thinks of an idea “Sweetcheeks..what about you doing a show..you have the dreamiest bod..you’d bring in even more females than my shy brother there..plus you already have the reputation of a heartbreaker....come on Sweetcheeks..think of all the dates you’ll get..”
“Ah..Dite..you know I’d love to ..but I’m taken..”
Hercules’ eyes glisten with mischief as he eyes Iolaus like a wolf about to eat his latest kill “You know Iolaus..Dite doesn’t have such a bad idea..since I have to bare my all in this show..why don’t you do the same..we’ll make double the money..raise enough money not simply to pay off the orphanage for this year..but to buy the orphanage outright..yes..that’s the solution..I’ve got to go to Salmoneous to see if I can make the arrangements..”
Iolaus blushes to the root of his hairline at this idea “Herc..Aries will be out there..it’ll be mortifying..”
Hercules pushes one of the orphanage kids into Iolaus’ line of sight “How can you deny this cute as a button orphan his food and shelter..where will he go when his orphanage forecloses?” As if on cue, the blond orphan who happens to look exactly like Iolaus at the same age, pleads with Iolaus with his cobalt blue eyes and even manages a tear or two. The sight of this helpless innocent child crying wrenches Iolaus’ heart..but also angers him because Hercules is pulling the same maudlin tricks that he had pulled.
“Ah Herc..that’s low even for you..putting my words back to my face..I didn’t know you had it in ya!”
“Well Iolaus..is it a yes or a no?”
Iolaus looks down at the pleading eyes of the blond orphan and like Hercules cannot say no.
“Alright..alright..I’ll do it..!”
“If I have to suffer wearing this thin blue material tonight in front of a crowd of gawkers..well..my buddy so will you! You know Iolaus..this could be fun!”
Dite has that thoughtful look on her face again as she casually strokes her chin “You know with Sweetcheek’s reputation with the female crowd..wouldn’t it be fun to auction him off..give the lucky female with the most dinars a chance to spend a magical night with Sweetcheeks..in that thin blue almost nothing costume he’ll be wearing tonight?”
“Now Herc.. I draw the line at being auctioned off..I am not a slave to be bought or sold..besides I’m going out with Skylark..”
“You mean Skylark.the Healer?” queries Hercules scratching his head as he couldn’t exactly place Skylark’s name.
“Yeah..the Skylark healed me last year after that Hydra nearly bit off my shoulder remember Herc? Besides if Skylark finds out that I’m going on a date with another woman..I’m dead meat..Skylark holds grudges..that’s why I can’t be auctioned off..”
“Oh don’t worry about that Sweetcheeks..it was Skylark’s idea for you to be auctioned off. to HER...in fact she’s the one who’s going to buy you tonight…I’ll set it up..” With that said, Aphrodite disappears in a flash of pink sparkles.
Note: Skylark and Iolaus have not been seen ever since! Joxer tells us that Skylark is busy healing Iolaus various wounds!
THE END