Title: The Prank
Disclaimer: The characters Hercules and Iolaus belong to Renaissance Pictures. No profit is being made from these stories. These stories are for entertainment purposes only. I will put Hercules and Iolaus back when I’m done with them. I promise!
Summary: Hercules and Iolaus are bathing in a lake when someone at the Academy decides to steal their clothes. How will Hercules and Iolaus get back to the Academy without their clothes?
Author’s Note: The story is set in the Young Hercules timeline.
CHAPTER 1
“Don’t worry Mom, Iolaus and I will be back at the Academy before Parent Day. I’ll see you there at Parent Day tomorrow. “ yells Hercules as he gives his mother a big bear hug.
“Come on Iolaus, Let’s go to the lake and have a swim. It’s awfully hot today.”
Alchemene yells to Hercules “Take care of Iolaus, make sure he doesn’t get sunburn. You know how sensitive his skin is in the sun. Here take this suntan lotion that I made out of aloevera leaves. Make sure he puts this on him.”
Iolaus runs into the kitchen as he smells homecooking “Hello Alchemene, I can’t wait to start the Academy with Herc, it’s been fun so far. I met Lilith and Jason and all of Herc’s friends at the Academy”
Alchemene tousles Iolaus’ hair fondly “Come on in Iolaus, make sure you and Hercules pack enough food along so you don’t get hungry before you get to the Academy.”
Iolaus’ cerulean blue eyes fondly regards Alchemene’s azure eyes “Thanks Alchemene for everything” Iolaus then gives Alchemene a fond hug. Alchemene moves aside Iolaus’ blond curly lock from his forehead and looks him straight in the eye and says “I love you like a son, the son of my heart. Now go and have a good time at the lake.”
With tears in his eyes Iolaus whispers into Alchemene’s ear “I love you too” and then Iolaus runs off to join Hercules at the lake.
Alchemene is fond of Iolaus. This blond-haired blue-eyed little whirlwind of energy has helped Hercules break out of his shy shell. Being at the Academy has helped Iolaus gain confidence in himself that Skouras tried to beat out of him. Iolaus and Hercules are truly inseparable. She smiles as the two boys exit the house and heads for the lake for a swim.
Iolaus takes off all his clothes and gladly dives into the lake. “Come on Herc, what are you afraid of? The lake isn’t going to bite you!”
“I bet I can outswim you to the island!” as Hercules eagerly divests himself of his clothes he dives into the lake and starts swimming towards the island in the middle of the lake.
“Last one to the island has to cook breakfast for a week!” giggles Iolaus. “By the way Herc, I want my eggs scrambled, not fried!”
As Hercules and Iolaus are busy swimming, Androcles and Soliacles ,two cadettes from the Academy, sneaks around behind the bushes.
“Now we can really get Hercules good. Nobody gets away with beating me in drills and embarrassing me in front of the whole Academy.” Androcles says. “Hercules cheats. He uses his half-God strength against us and he thinks he’s such a great warrior, well he’s not!”
“It’s definitely payback time brother.” Soliacles snickers.”Let’s see what great heroes Hercules and Iolaus are without their clothes!”
“Tomorrow is Parent’s Day at the Academy. When Hercules and Iolaus show up without their clothes now that’s going to be REALLY embarrassing for our two heroes” adds Androcles.
“Soliacles, you go left and grab Iolaus’ clothes and I’ll go right and grab Hercules’ clothes. Come on let’s hurry before they notice that their clothing is gone.”
Androcles and Soliacles run and grab Hercules and Iolaus’ clothes without a hitch. “Boy, I wish I can stick around to see Hercules and Iolaus’ face when they step out of the lake and realize their clothes is missing! They’ll have to hide in the bushes or travel at night” Both Androcles and Soliacles grab their sides as they fall down to the ground in laughter. In fact, Androcles laughs so hard that tears run down his face.
“Hercules and Iolaus will have to travel at night and they will have to arrive at the Academy before dawn if they are to arrive undetected especially if they are traveling naked. They will have to arrive before dawn if they don’t want their parents to find out that they’ve been in the woods all night naked.”
“Well, why don’t we make sure that Hercules and Iolaus DON’T arrive before dawn. I have a plan. We just need to create a little diversion. Yes, this will definitely be the best prank ever!”
CHAPTER 2
Iolaus swims to the island first. “Ha! Herc, I beat you! Remember I want my eggs scrambled and I also want a side of…”
Hercules moans as he realizes that Iolaus has won “Alright, but I’ll double the bet, I bet you that I can beat you back to the shore and Iolaus I want omelettes with cheese and baklava” Hercules races off to the shore.
“Oh no, you don’t Herc, I’ll beat you yet!” Iolaus tries to outswim the young demigod.
Hercules is the first to reach the shore. He grabs his towel and he glowers at Iolaus “Remember Iolaus I want omelettes with cheese..and..what is it? What’s wrong Iolaus?”
“Herc, our clothes are missing! I know I left my clothes right here and so did you and now they’re gone.” Cerulean eyes meet azure eyes in alarm.
“This can’t be the work of Aries or Hera. Too tame for them. If Hermes pulled this prank he would have made his presence known…no it’s not Aphrodite..not her style..”
“Herc, if it’s not the Gods then how did our clothes disappear?”
“I can only think of two cadettes vindictive enough to do this.” Hercules knits his brow in concentration..””It’s got to be Androcles and Soliacles, they’ve never forgiven me for beating them in drills..it’s got to be them..they have the reputation of being the biggest pranksters in their last school, Iolaus. I can feel it, it’s them.”
“You know right now I don’t care who took our clothes but it’s getting a bit chilly standing around in the buff..I mean what should we do next?” asks a nervous Iolaus who has already hidden himself behind a big bush.
“I don’t know about you but I’m going to use that towel for now..to you know hide myself”
“Wait a minute Herc, Alchemene gave that towel to me. She says I have sensitive skin to the sun so I’m getting that towel.” As the two boys struggle for the towel, the towel breaks in two.
“I don’t think we have much choice. We’ll have to wait until nightfall and then travel by hiding in the bushes. We have to get to the Academy before dawn..before Parent’s Day. Mother is already on her way to the Academy…” says Hercules
“Here, Iolaus, take this leaf..you can make a leaf toga with it. I have some string with which you can sew the leaves together.”
“Herc, I can’t sew. Alright Iolaus hold still, I’ll make one for you as Hercules comes to Iolaus to measure his waist and thighs, a very embarrassed Iolaus backs away.
“Listen Herc, I’ll just wear what’s left of the towel while you sew yourself a pair of leaf pants to cover yourself..”
“Alright, Iolaus but don’t blame me if the wind blows the wrong way and you find yourself inconveniently exposed”
Meanwhile, Androcles and Soliacles watch from a distance the antics of the now naked Hercules and Iolaus “ Androcles, this is the best prank ever..” Soliacles heaves with laughter as he sees an embarrassed Iolaus back away from Hercules as Hercules attempts to sew him a leaf pant toga.
“The second part of my plan. The diversion. Now Hercules’ Amazon girlfriend Cyane’s tribe lives near the Academy…Do you see where I’m going with this Soliacles?”
“Yeah, I love this prank more and more. Have Cyane run into a naked Hercules and Iolaus..that’ll be really funny..” adds Soliacles.
“No, not just Cyane. But the whole Amazon tribe. Imagine our two naked heroes in front of a bunch of giggling Amazon women. We all know how shy Hercules is around women! This ought to be precious!”
“Androcles, how are you going to get the Amazon tribe to Hercules?” asks a puzzled Soliacles.
“I’ve already sent a messenger with the fake message. I wrote in the message that Hercules is in danger and to meet Hercules at his secret swimming hole. If Cyane still cares for Hercules, she’ll bring her whole tribe for backup!” says Androcles.
“Androcles, you are a maniacal genius. Remind me not to ever cross you in a dark alley!” snickers Soliacles.
CHAPTER 3
“My Queen Cyane, there is an urgent message for you from Hercules” as the messenger shyly hands Cyane the scroll.
Cyane looks at the scroll. A look of concern crosses her face. “Come on, we must ride on to the swimming hole. I know where it is. Hercules would not have sent this message unless he really needs me. I want the whole tribe to ride out now. Full battle gear.”
Cyane and the Amazons approach the Hercules’ fishing hole with stealth, hoping to catch the enemy by surprise.
Hercules and Iolaus have been hiding in the bushes waiting for the sun to set before venturing forth in public. Iolaus is the first to hear a twig break “Herc, I think I hear someone approaching”
Hercules blushes at the thought of anyone he knows seeing him in the nude “I hope whoever it is doesn’t see us. Come on Iolaus, let’s hide in the bushes up there. There’s more foliage. Come on.”
“Look Herc, that’s Cyane and the Amazons down there by our fishing hole. What are they doing here? They’re looking through all our camp gear?
“I don’t know why Cyane is here. I just hope the Amazons don’t see us. This is downright humiliating!”
Cyane notices some movement in the bushes. “Amazons, follow my lead. Obviously the enemy is hiding in those bushes. Full battle gear. We must attack the bandits before they attack us.”
“Herc, I don’t think our luck is holding out. Cyane is approaching us. What do we do?”
“Iolaus, I’m still thinking.”
“Well, Herc, think fast. Cyane is getting closer.”
Cyane continues to move quietly through the bushes giving her Amazons instructions. “Okay bandits, we know you are hiding in the bushes. I have all my archers arrows aimed at you. Any false move will be your last. Show yourselves. Archers shoot at the count of three if the bandits fail to reveal their cowardly selves to us. What did you do to Hercules and Iolaus? Tell us or die.” Cyane has a dangerous glint in her eyes.
Iolaus with a rising panic in his voice whispers to Hercules “We have to do something. Cyane’s archers are going to shoot us.” Before Hercules could respond, Iolaus stands up and puts his hands up in surrenders. Unfortunately at the same moment a full gust of wind blows Iolaus’ towel off his waist..
Iolaus blushes as he sees his towel blowing away in the wind. “Cyane, please don’t shoot. It’s me Iolaus.”
Stunned by a nude Iolaus, Cyane’s jaw drops. “Ah, Iolaus..nice to see you again..” Iolaus tries to explain the situation. “Herc and I were swimming. Someone stole our clothes. We’ve been waiting until sundown before we could travel. Oh yeah, Herc’s the shy one. He’s still hiding in the bushes behind me.”
Hercules attempts to stand up. Unlike Iolaus, his leaf toga pants remain intact. “Cyane, I think Androcles and Saliacles pulled a prank and stole our clothes. For goodness’s sake, don’t laugh..”
Cyane and the Amazon are already rolling on the ground with laughter. Both Hercules and especially the totally nude Iolaus are blushing.
Tears roll down Cyane’s face as she apologizes “I’m sorry Hercules, Iolaus..it’s just that you two look so funny. We got an urgent message stating that you were in danger.but evidently..oh..this is just too funny...” Cyane cannot contain her laughter as she laughs until her ribs hurt. Iolaus rolls his eyes while Hercules continues to blush and hide in the bushes.
Cyane is the first to stop laughing “You’re right Hercules, it’s not funny. We’ll get you some Amazon dresses to wear so you 'll have something to wear ...”as Cyane strains not to laugh at Hercules and Iolaus' predicament.
“Dresses? We have to wear dresses?” Iolaus cries. “If my father sees me in a dress when we get to the Academy, he’s going to go ballistic!”
“Cyane, surely you have some pants for us to wear. Mother will not know what to make of me in a dress. Please Cyane. Have a heart.” Hercules pleads.
“Sorry Hercules. All we Amazons have are Amazon dresses. It’s either the dresses or go to the Academy without anything on. . You guys are very cute. “ continues Cyane.
Both Hercules and Iolaus put on Amazon dresses and start to travel with the Amazons to head towards the Academy.
“Androcles, this is the best prank ever. Our heroes are not so heroic now..” Saliacles never finishes his sentence as he clutches his side in laughter.
“Saliacles, as much fun it is to watch Hercules and Iolaus in this predicament, I think we’d better head back to the Academy before Cheiron misses us. We have guard duty. Let’s go.” Androcles and Saliacles manage to sneak back into the Academy. Saliacles throws Hercules and Iolaus’ clothes into his locker and goes on guard duty.
Feducious making his regular rounds notices the suspicious activities of Androcles and Saliacles and decides to investigate their locker only to discover Hercules and Iolaus’ clothes including Iolaus amulet..Feducious with evidence in his hands heads for Cheiron’s office.
CHAPTER 4
Back at the Academy…
“You know Lilith, it’s not like Hercules and Iolaus to be late. They promised to meet us for dinner at Kora’s. Tomorrow is Parent’s Day. Even Alchemene is already here. I wonder what’s keeping Hercules and Iolaus.?” asks a puzzled Jason.
“Alchemene says that Hercules and Iolaus were last seen swimming at Hercule’s favorite swimming hole. That’s the last time she’s seen them.” Lilith says.
Cheiron approaches Jason’s and Lilith’s table with a serious expression on his face “Jason, Lilith, I think you should come with me.” Both Jason and Lilith give each other a worried glance as they both think “Uh oh, we’re in trouble with Cheiron.”
Cheiron gathers the friends and families of Hercules and Iolaus into his office and grimly announces “Alchemene, Skouras, Lilith, Jason, Feducious went through the bunks on a routine bunk check. He found Hercules and Iolaus’ clothes inside Androcles and Saliacles lockers. I have other cadettes combing the surrounding area looking for Hercules and Iolaus. I don’t want any of you to worry. Both Androcles and Saliacles have been sent home and they are expelled from the Academy.”
Alchemene worried about her two sons “What happened? Where are my sons? Why did Androcles and Saliacles have my sons’ clothes?”
General Skouras angry that his wayward son is once again a disappointment to him and also embarrassed that his son is late for Parent’s Day “I demand a more thorough explanation. What trouble has Iolaus gotten himself into this time? I promise you that Iolaus will be duly punished when he gets home.”
Alchemene casts a worried glance at Skouras for she is fully aware of what kind of “punishment” Iolaus will be in for once Skouras gets home and she cannot bear to see Iolaus beaten and whipped by his father. “Skouras, please calm down. I’m sure Iolaus is NOT in any trouble. We just have to hope that they are alive and they are alright. That should be our focus.” Alchemene hopes that Skouras will calm down.
Alchemene worried about Iolaus’ safety approaches Cheiron “ When they find Hercules and Iolaus, promise me that you will keep Iolaus at the Academy. I don’t want Skouras to hurt Iolaus.”
Cheiron looks into Alchemene’s worried azure eyes so identical to those of Hercules and responds “I know about Skouras temperament. I’ve treated Iolaus many times for the injuries that Skouras has inflicted on his son. On my word of honor as a centaur, I will not allow Skouras to hurt Iolaus. I give you my word, Alchemene.” Cheiron now understands where Hercules gets his kindness, compassion and courage as he watches Alchemene pace the room worried about her two sons, her son of the flesh, Hercules and her son of the heart, Iolaus.
A cadette walks into Cheiron’s office to give his report on the search for Hercules and Iolaus. “Hercules and Iolaus have been sighted. They are traveling with a bunch of Amazons sir. And Cheiron sir, ahh…”
“Well cadette speak up..what is the matter?” asks a concerned and impatient Cheiron.
The cadette whispers into Cheiron’s ear “Hercules and Iolaus were spotted wearing dresses.” Cheiron raises his eyebrows at this news. He turns around to face the family and friends of Hercules and Iolaus “Apparently, Hercules and Iolaus are safe. They are a short distance from here according to my scouts. Come on cadette, lead me to them.”
Then Cheiron whispers into the cadette’s ear “Grab me some extra training uniforms. Then take me to them and we will dress them properly in proper Academy clothing after all it is Parent’s Day. Dismissed. Cadette.”
Epilogue
Cheiron arrives at the Amazon camp with the correct cadette clothes. “Don’t worry, Hercules, Iolaus..Androcles and Saliacles have been expelled. Here are some extra uniforms. Your parents are waiting for you at the Academy.”
Hercules is blushing all this time. He runs out of the room to instantly put on the cadette uniform. Iolaus giggles as he watches the speed at which the demigod runs out of the room to get out of his dress.
”Iolaus,” begins Cheiron in a stern voice “We will be heading back to the Academy so you’d better get dressed in a proper uniform NOW. Your parents are waiting in my office.” Iolaus pales under his tanned skin as he remembers how angry his father would get if he got in any more trouble. Iolaus runs out of the room and promptly gets dressed.
“Cyane, and the Amazons, I want to thank you for rescuing my cadettes. I will be taking Hercules and Iolaus back to the Academy now.” Cheiron exits the Amazon camp with Hercules and Iolaus following close behind.
Cheiron and the other cadettes walk Iolaus and Hercules back to his office where Alchemene hugs Hercules and Iolaus as she is glad that they are not hurt.
“Alchemene, you should have seen how embarrassed Hercules was. I mean he kept hiding in the bushes when Cyane came to “rescue” us” Iolaus keeps giggling as he embellishes the story to Alchemene.
Hercules stares at the ground and finds it fascinating to count how many wooden tiles are on the bunk floor. “You know Mother, I’m just glad to be back at the Academy in MY clothes.”
Alchemene gives Hercules a bear hug “I was so worried when I heard you and Iolaus were missing. I’m just glad that both my sons are safe and sound. I’m so proud of you both.”
“Thanks Mother, I love you too.” Hercules says as he and Alchemene walk out of Cheiron’s office to share a private moment together. Alchemene hugs her son again and shakes her head as she listens to the music of Iolaus’ giggle piercing the evening air.