European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily
difficult - for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is
clearly needed is a phased program of changes to iron out these anomalies. The
program would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by
participating nations.

In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of
the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news
with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are
pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of
klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.

There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was announsed that
the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words
like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would
enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to
akurate speling.

We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is
disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though
nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and
peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen
ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'.

Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'.
Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud
find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the Guvermnt vud finali hav kum
tru.