Holiday tips for women with endometriosis
This time of year can be particularly difficult for women with endometriosis. Our lives may be filled with physical and emotional pain that prevents us from fully enjoying the holidays. Instead of trying to do it all or live up to someone elses expectations, be mindful of your limitations and create a more manageable celebration.
Prioritise Save your energy for the things that are most meaningful to you. Think about the activities you find the most enriching and spend your time and energy there. Also think about which activities are the most stressful, and try to reduce the amount of time you spend doing those. Do social events energise you or deplete your energy stores? Do you enjoy baking cookies or do you put too much pressure on yourself to make everything perfect? Is shopping stressful or trouble-free? Is it inspiring or traumatic to be responsible for the big dinner? Personally, I enjoy shopping and socialising, but I dont like to cook for a crowd. It makes me anxious, and afterwards, I feel drained. I know this about myself. So, even when family visits from out-of-town, we always eat holiday meals at a restaurant.
Eat Right and Rest During the holidays, its easy to overindulge in special foods and beverages. But sugar, alcohol, and excess calories add a burden to our already overtaxed system. When attending parties, you might want to decide ahead of time how much and what types of foods and beverages youll consume then stick to your plan. If you go to the party hungry, youll be more tempted. Having a healthy snack before you go can keep you on track. Getting plenty of sleep is equally important.
Ah, the Family! When thrust together for several stressful days, even the most well adjusted families sometimes break under the pressure. This is especially true if there are unresolved issues concerning endometriosis or other important matters. Since the holidays arent the best time to discuss your diagnosis in depth (see our previous article, When Others Dont Understand), consider ways to reduce family friction, such as shorter visits, planning activities to minimise interaction, or even escape for a few hours every day for some down time. This is the time of year to keep things light. Don't try to solve problems with friends and loved ones over the holidays.
When the Holidays Mean Loss When I was going through infertility treatments, holidays were unbearable. Seeing families celebrating with their children brought unexpected tears to my eyes. It didnt help that the due date for my one and only pregnancy (which ended in miscarriage) was Christmas Day. For some of us, the holidays are associated with loss. We may grieve the loss of loved ones, the children we never had, or the person we used to be before endometriosis changed our lives. When we see others enjoying the holidays, it often makes us feel even worse. During these difficult days, its okay to acknowledge and express your feelings. You dont have to ignore your sadness just because its the holidays and youre supposed to be happy. It also helps not to be alone too much. Instead, surround yourself with those who understand and empathise. And if your grief is recent, dont expect too much of yourself this year. For two years following my miscarriage, I didnt celebrate the holidays at all and that was perfectly okay.
Delegate Do you do all the shopping, wrapping, addressing, decorating, cooking, entertaining, and mailing yourself? If so, it might be time to delegate some of those tasks to other family members. Say, yes only to those things you really want to do. And dont feel guilty about saying, no!
Reduce Your Tasks Think about ways your holiday tasks could be simplified, reduced, or eliminated. Instead of shopping in crowded stores, how about online shopping instead? Or contemplate reducing the number of people on your gift list. Consider the tasks youre doing just because youve always done them. Must they still be done? What about the activities that are causing you stress? What if you didnt do them this year? Would anything catastrophic happen as a result?
Take Time for Yourself During this hectic time of year, be sure to schedule time for yourself and dont push your body beyond its limits. Spending just an hour or two alone can help rejuvenate you physically and mentally. Find a quiet place where you can concentrate on your breathing and clear your mind. Some ideas: enjoy a soak in the tub, take a long walk, listen to soothing music with the headphones on, go bird watching, or simply sit by the fire alone.
Turn off Commercialism No matter how much we try to avoid it, commercialism surrounds us. Luminous store decorations seem to promise the perfect holiday. But as we all know, store-bought things dont fill our hearts or bring meaning to our lives. More and more people are successfully creating non-commercial traditions, such as an evening of carolling, a potluck dinner (where everyone brings a dish) instead of a lavish dinner, hand-made gifts from the heart, gift boxes for those less fortunate, adopting a needy family, or volunteering at a local charity. My husbands most memorable holiday occurred when he was only seven years old. That was the year his parents took a turkey dinner and gifts to a needy family. He still remembers their gratefulness. Getting involved and helping others is what brings real meaning to our lives.
Despite the sparkle, the songs, the lights, and the glamour of the season, the holidays are stressful. And they can also make you sad. Too often, we think the holidays are supposed to be a happy time when all negative feelings disappear. But the truth is, this time of year can be both happy and melancholy. Its important to acknowledge that and to lower your expectations for the holidays. As Red Green, (one of my favourite television characters) once said, Lower expectations are the key to a happy life.
Happy Holidays Everyone!
