Shirt…

...Mission: Impossible (Girl)

It was Collectormania –Milton Keynes time again (see CDS…The Doctor Will See You Now, S...Visits a Vila, S...Burn, Baby, Burn, S...Eve of the Daleks, S...Ice Cold Without Alex & S...Is Molly-cuddled).

Shirt had booked a train ticket for the Saturday, using the remainder of his rail vouchers from his delayed journey to Prestatyn for the Sci-Fi Weekender 2012. This initially seemed like a good choice, as it meant that he could meet his favourite ‘Paternoster Gang’ member, Dan Starkey. Unfortunately, Dan cancelled a few weeks before the event, and other guests such as Roberta Tovey were announced for the Sunday. However, Saturday offered Nabil Shaban; two ‘Being Human’ guest stars, namely Ellie ‘Alison’ Kendrick and Steven ‘Mr. Root’ Robertson, and most excitingly latest companion, Jenna-Louise Coleman.

Due to weekend train times, Shirt was aware that he would not be able to get to stadium until after 9am when doors opened, meaning that he was likely to be a long way back in the virtual queue for Jenna-Louise. However, striving to remain optimistic, he strode forth to London Euston, and his train to Milton Keynes, precious ‘Companions’ book in his bag. Spending the journey listening to Part One of ‘The Wrong Doctors’, Shirt arrived just in time for the half-hourly free bus. Finding a seat behind a goth in full make-up, Shirt attempted not to suffocate as the man proceeded to paint his fingernails with very smelly black nail-varnish on the journey, whilst Shirt attempted to concentrate on Part Two of ‘The Wrong Doctors’.

Arriving at the stadium at 9.30am, Shirt strove off towards where the map indicated Jenna-Louise was located. Getting there five minutes later, he took a virtual queue ticket, his heart sinking on seeing #647, having a severe sense of deja-vu. However, the board indicated that after half-an-hour, she was signing up to #75. Continuing round the stadium, Shirt identified where the other people that he wanted were sitting. None of the others had virtual queues, and so Shirt took the opportunity to browse stalls both in the dealers’ room and on the main concourse. Finding a stall selling cheap BBC audio CDs, Shirt purchased two ‘Torchwood’ adventures, ‘Fallout’ and ‘Mr. Invincible’. However, he found nothing of interest in the dealers’ room and so left without buying anything.

Shirt then made his way to Steven Robertson’s table, picking up a photo of him as Mr. Rook.

“Who shall I sign it to ?”, asked Steven, in a broad Scottish accent that Shirt wasn’t expecting.

“Shirt”.

Photograph signed and Shirt was making his way to the ‘Game of Thrones’ signing area, where Ellie was signing.

There being no queue, Shirt went straight to the table, selecting a photo of Alison and Tom, which Ellie signed with minimum of conversation.

It was now 10.30am, and Jenna-Louise was up to #200. Shirt, therefore went in search of Nabil Shaban, finding him away from his signing table. He therefore decided to make a quick trip to the nearby supermarket to get a late breakfast. Having purchased this, and wasted time in the books, toys and entertainment sections, Shirt slowly made his way back to the stadium, eating his ‘All Day Breakfast’ sandwich. This consumed, and Shirt found himself back at Nabil’s signing table, where the man himself was now sitting again.

Paying for two autographs, Shirt profferred his ‘Vengeance on Varos: Special Edition’ and ‘Mindwarp’ DVD covers.

“You can also take two photos”, said Nabil’s steward, which Shirt did, including one of Sil and a buxom Ms. Bryant.

Thanking Nabil, and deciding not to mention that they were ‘friends’ on Facebook, Shirt moved off.

Passing Jenna-Louise’s area at just after 11am, the sign indicated that she had reached #250, but that she would not be back until just before 1pm due to a photo-studio and lunch.

Shirt continued round the stadium, noticing a sign at the stall that he had visited earlier, stating ‘3 for 2 on same priced CDs’. A word with the stallholder, and a few seconds later, Shirt was adding NuWho audio, ‘Snake Bite’ to his other two.

A little further around was John Leeson, and next to him was Mat Irvine, signing photos and copies of his ‘BBC: VFX’ book, written with Mike Tucker. Mat was charging £25 for the book, but Shirt had seen it in the dealers’ room for £10. He therefore returned there, purchasing the heavy tome and the MDW ‘50^th Anniversary: The Daleks’ bookazine.

Returning to Mat’s table, Shirt made a big show of pulling the book out of his bag.

“Have you just bought that ?”, asked Mat.

“No, I’ve had it since it came out”, lied Shirt, concerned that Mat might refuse to sign it if he had not bought it from him.

Mat proceeded to sign the left-hand side of the title-page.

“I always leave the right-hand side for Mike”, he told Shirt.

Shirt then attempted to pay for the autograph.

“I don’t charge if you’ve bought the book”, stated Mat, “It’s my pension fund”.

Shirt felt a little guilty about this (but not guilty enough to admit buying it cheaply in the dealers’ room)

Shirt made a final pass, purchasing a copy of ‘Gallimaufry’, a collection of stories by Colin Baker. He also saw his favourite image of the day in the Star Wars cosplay section – namely Darth Maul on his hands and knees cleaning up spilt coffee with masses of kitchen roll.

Back at Jenna-Louise’s section, Shirt made a decision. She was not due to be signing again until 1pm, she was doing around 150 people per half hour, so would reach 650 around 3.45pm, just in time to go to her next photo-studio. The time now being 12pm, Shirt would have to wait over four hours before he would be able to meet her, longer than he had already been there, and he had seen everyone that he wanted and did not want to browse the stalls again. He therefore made for the next bus to the MK Central Shopping Centre.

Having browsed several shops, but leaving without purchasing anything, Shirt slowly walked back to the Central Station, where he was just in time for a train back to London. Sitting back in his seat, enjoying the concluding parts of ‘The Wrong Doctors’ as he wended his way home, Shirt mused on a mainly successful day. He’d just have to meet Jenna-Louise on another day.

[PL]