A VERY UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY (TO YOU)


A very unhappy birthday to you
May none of your wishes ever come true
Be your skies be always gray, may you have a rotten day
A very unhappy birthday to you

Now, a grouch’s party really can’t be beat
There are lots of nasty people, lots of yucchy food to eat
And we have a rotten time, the whole long afternoon
And everybody stands and sings this lovely birthday tune:

A very unhappy birthday to you
May none of your wishes ever come true
May you eat up so much cake, that you get a tummy ache
A very unhappy birthday to you

We eat mudcake topped with pickle juice and beans
And a special ice cream sundae made with spinach and sardines
And we really gulp it down ‘till our tummies feel all wrong
And everybody stands and sings this lovely birthday song:

A very unhappy birthday to you
May none of your wishes ever come true
May the presents that you get make you angry and upset
A very unhappy birthday to you

Now, the best things are the presents that we get
Like a pair of smelly socks all full of holes and soaking wet
Or a bike that has no wheels, or a phone that never rings
And after all the presents everybody stands and sings:

A very unhappy birthday to you
May none of your wishes ever come true
Be your skies be always gray, may you have a rotten day
A very unhappy birthday to you